Threads' New Terms and Conditions Affects the Fediverse
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This shouldn't come as a huge surprise. Meta is moving forward with their plans for Theads and the Fediverse, and their adjusted terms reflect a new impending reality for Fediverse users.
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Defederation actually does work both ways if the instance enables
AUTHORIZED_FETCH. That setting requires 3rd party systems to prove their identity before they can retrieve any data, which allows an instance to block defederated domains. I don't know if Lemmy or Kbin supports that, but practically all of the microblogging fedi software does (that being Mastodon / GlitchSoc, Pleroma / Akkoma, Misskey / FoundKey / FireFish, and GoToSocial).Except that means you defederate from everyone but whitelisted instances in that scenario. If I recall, it doesn't work as a blacklist, but as a whitelist.
You're thinking of LIMITED_FEDERATION_MODE, which is different from AUTHORIZED_FETCH.
Looking into it, aren't both of these only Mastodon and not part of ActivityPub itself? I can't find details on them outside of Mastodon.
And what prevents the post from getting published to other instances from different sources?
They are mastodon-specific, but most fedi software has a similar feature. Or at least, all of the mainstream microblogging software does, as well as some of the image / video sharing platforms. I'm unsure about Lemmy and Kbin. Here are the equivalent settings for FireFish: