Lemme tell ya. My Doctor, he’s a real class-act. Gave a guy 6 weeks to live, the guy said he couldn’t pay, he gave him another 6 weeks! Hey alright.
"I tell ya, in my neighborhood, you play football, it's really tough. After they sack the quarterback, they go after his family.” -Dangerfield
My wife likes to talk while she's making love. Last night, she called me up from the Holiday Inn.
Poor guy got no respect. It was pretty sad.
Seriously, though. I saw his standup for the first time several years ago. I think this was from the early 80s on Carson and the dude was lit. I only knew him from movies and his general schtick. I'd never seen his timing and delivery. He was great.
His standup was definitely better than any of his movies
Gonna badmouth Caddyshack and Back to School, really?
Back to School, definitely. Well, not really badmouth, but I thought it was fairly mediocre.
But really I meant to praise his standup and say his movies didn't do him justice. He was just funnier when doing his own material
Easy Money!
There are an amazing number of Carson clips on YouTube. Lots of very cool moments and people coming together you wouldn't expect.
The only time I think you will ever see George Carlin and Richard Pryor on TV together was when they were on Carson.
Even comedy geniuses have the occasional terrible idea.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Boy am I ugly. I’m so ugly that when I was born the doctor slapped my mother.
My mother, she wouldn’t breastfeed me, she said she liked me as a friend.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Then later as I was growing up, when I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Boy I was an ugly kid. I had plenty of pimples, one day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
I met the surgeon general, he gave me a cigarette.
Then I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
I told my doctor I want to get a vasectomy. He told me that with a face like mine, I don’t need one.
I told my doctor, “Every day I wake up, I look in the mirror, I want to throw up. What’s wrong with me?” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.
I tell ya, I know I’m ugly. My proctologist stuck his finger in my mouth.
I was just introducing someone to Rodney last night because some actor in a show we saw looked a bit like him. Then I wake up and see this here. Life sure has funny coincidences sometimes.
Lemme tell ya. My Doctor, he’s a real class-act. Gave a guy 6 weeks to live, the guy said he couldn’t pay, he gave him another 6 weeks! Hey alright.
"I tell ya, in my neighborhood, you play football, it's really tough. After they sack the quarterback, they go after his family.” -Dangerfield
My wife likes to talk while she's making love. Last night, she called me up from the Holiday Inn.
Poor guy got no respect. It was pretty sad.
Seriously, though. I saw his standup for the first time several years ago. I think this was from the early 80s on Carson and the dude was lit. I only knew him from movies and his general schtick. I'd never seen his timing and delivery. He was great.
His standup was definitely better than any of his movies
Gonna badmouth Caddyshack and Back to School, really?
Back to School, definitely. Well, not really badmouth, but I thought it was fairly mediocre.
But really I meant to praise his standup and say his movies didn't do him justice. He was just funnier when doing his own material
Easy Money!
There are an amazing number of Carson clips on YouTube. Lots of very cool moments and people coming together you wouldn't expect.
The only time I think you will ever see George Carlin and Richard Pryor on TV together was when they were on Carson.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfBhy28sMKw
Wise guys I tell ya; last week I checked into a hotel and I asked the bellhop to handle my bag - he started feeling up my wife
Dangerfield is timeless.
I really want someone to do a serious long form documentary about him and his comedy career while there are people with stories about him still alive.
Every comedian I've heard talk about meeting him mentions that he was on cocaine at the time. The guy was wild.
I mean, realistically who wasnt?
Well... yes and no...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWTKhQzQl1A
Oh my god, what is this
Even comedy geniuses have the occasional terrible idea.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Boy am I ugly. I’m so ugly that when I was born the doctor slapped my mother.
My mother, she wouldn’t breastfeed me, she said she liked me as a friend.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Then later as I was growing up, when I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Boy I was an ugly kid. I had plenty of pimples, one day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
I met the surgeon general, he gave me a cigarette.
Then I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
I told my doctor I want to get a vasectomy. He told me that with a face like mine, I don’t need one.
I told my doctor, “Every day I wake up, I look in the mirror, I want to throw up. What’s wrong with me?” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.
I tell ya, I know I’m ugly. My proctologist stuck his finger in my mouth.
I was just introducing someone to Rodney last night because some actor in a show we saw looked a bit like him. Then I wake up and see this here. Life sure has funny coincidences sometimes.
We're gangstalking you.
Yay, fan club.