MeatPilot

@MeatPilot@lemmy.world
2 Post – 90 Comments
Joined 1 years ago

I love these transcripts, they always sound like a conversation some rambling old man is having with his hospice nurse.

Ok Mr. Trump, very good. Now take your medications.

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My gran grans favorite "get up and go" songs.

  • My Neck, My Back (Lick It)
  • Magic Stick
  • Put It In Your Mouth
  • Look Back At Me
  • Deepthroat
  • Pussy Monster
  • Anaconda
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You are Chinese finger cuffs, they are the fingers.

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They are going to send the dude with the valve on the back of his head to collect.

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Why have 2 people do 2 jobs, when you can have 1 frightened employee do 2 jobs or maybe more.

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Hard truth for folks to understand is people actually fuck because it's fun and a healthy part of a relationship.

This is what happens when you have no alternatives left to manage accidents and don't want to live like a nun or monk.

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Boeing could plead it was just edging, because he never got off completely. Knocked his socks off though.

You're gonna want to sit down on this

I can confirm this story because I was the boat.

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So... everytime I nut it's like a microplastic glitter cannon?

🎉🎉🎉

Sometimes you can find instructions for different ways to cook a pizza on the back of the box. For example I checked mine and underneath airfry and oven instructions there was instructions for "nuclear blast"...

Nuclear Blast

Remove pizza from all packaging and shrink wrap. Be sure to remove and discard the cardboard tray.

Place pizza on metal baking tray within a clear path of the blast source. Do not use glass cookware as it might shatter.

About 5 miles out from the blast source. Find a sturdy structure, like a rock deeply embedded into the ground.

Place pizza on the tray and tilt tray to a 45 degree angle on the rock. Angling toward the blast to evenly cook.

Bake for 5secs for 15 kiloton yield atomic bombs or until pizza is golden brown. Grab pizza and run to shelter before the shockwave hits. If the shockwave hits your pizza it will disintegrate.

All atomic bombs cook differently, so be sure to keep an eye on your pizza as it cooks and not the blast. Pizza is done when the cheese is melted and edges are golden brown.

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What's the copper to crack exchange rate currently?

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I heard if you go into your bathroom and turn off the lights. Then close your eyes and spin around three times well saying "Nintendo, Nintendo, Nintendo!"

It will summon their lawyers and they will drag you to court through your bathroom mirror for violating copyright.

Left

  • Name: Sour Joe
  • Stats: DEX 5 - STR 3 - INT 10
  • Special Attack: Yeast Starter (Deals damage over time. If applied 5 times in 30 secs opponent takes explosive damage.)

Middle

  • Name: Gluten Gus
  • Stats: DEX 10 - STR 5 - INT 3
  • Special Attack: Bloat (This strike slows opponent down by 2% lasts for 10 secs, hits stack.)

Right

  • Name: LARRY DA LOAF
  • Stats: DEX 1 - STR 20 - INT 1
  • Special Attack: Pound Cake (Charge attack, at 50% does double damage and at 100% causes stun for 3 secs.)
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Next up "donor" patches for clothing, donor branded shoes, and donor outfits. Have our state officials look like NASCAR.

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History proves we do the cheapest, easiest, and fastest. So allow me to shit all over this idea...

  • This is slow at 1.5 mins vs a needle takes about 5 secs.
  • Takes skill to operate an ultrasound machine and probably training to get a consistent dose vs pull needle to this line and jab in arm to know you got it all in there.
  • Every Rite Aid and CVS would need an ultrasound machine vs here are these cheap disposable needles that require no power or maintenance.

Sure they might develop it faster or make a new more portable thing. But that's going to take a long long time when no one gives a shit to invest money in a new thing when needles work.

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The Shrek paradox

My favorite part.

I have a lot of trouble understanding celebrity worship for anyone.

Don't get me wrong I have favorite celebrities for movies/music. I give two shits what they do outside those mediums or what they have to say. At the end of the day we are all hopeless idiots regardless of status and I wouldn't trust any of them as much as any other stranger. Because I don't fucking KNOW them and they don't know me.

Anyhow I'm not pointing fingers at Taylor Swift or her fan club. This has perplexed me way before the current generation. People have been following strangers like silly sheep since 0 BC. I get there are some deep seed instincts in being a part of a group that get warped here... but good gravy some people need to step back and have an introspective moment to break their fixations.

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I turn off my lights when I'm not in a room and don't own a server farm. #doingmypart🌳

And drinking a refreshing Ç̷̧̡̢̧̧̙͓̮̮͖͎̱̤̳̙̺͍̺̜͇̠̯̗̼̯͍̖͈̝͎͙͓̦̞̝͙̺̼̗̘̲̙̮̺̪̹̪̗͓͍̳̲̼͈̖͗͑̾̈́̓̀͗̈́͜͜͝͝ͅͅơ̸̧̡̢̧̢̨̛̛̛̙̟̦͓̜̯̖̬̩̙͚̭͚̱͓̫͖̙̮̪̗̜̗̻̬͖̝̖͉̩̻̺͇̲̩̦͍͚̝̐̾͆̾̃̓́͋͑̀͑́̆̌̒͂̍̎̊̂̓̆̔̀͗̉̄̍̒̎́̒͊͛͌̑̒̽̿̇̀̅̊̄͆̊̈̿̀̂̓̈́͌͛̃͑͑͊̚̚̚̕͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅk̶̢̨̢̛̛̛̮̻͕̱͙̰̬̟͕̝̪̮̥͎̪̻͇̣̼͚͍̲̪͙̗̹̱̺̆͑͐̈́͛̏̽͐̿́̈́͗̽̏̔̋͊̀̅̽́̀̿̓̉͐͊͊̐̍̆̎̍̀͒̋̈́̔̿̔́͑̽̔́͛̾̂͑̈́̔̈́͌̍̈̄͛̍͐͐̈́̃͌̄̋̈́́̌̓̉̇̿̀̀̚̚͘̚͜͜͜͜͠͝͠ę̶̡̛͚͓̲̼͈̭͚̙̼͕̮̙̫̖͓̜̣͕̠̞̫̗͙̥͚̣̣̲̫̜̟͔̯̫̩̼̤̅͒̌̍̑̀̇͂̄͗̀̊̄̅̔̔͗̂̾̉̓̐͗̋͗͊̀̏̇͛̊̏̃̌͌́̈͋̑̒͒̈͌̈́͑̂̈͋̎̑̓̊̀́̐̚̚͜͝͠͝͝͠͝a̸̢̡̢̧̧̤̜̰̠̩̯͙͔̖̳̳̩̘̥͙͙̙̬̦̺̗̝͛́̍̓̇́̀͆͑͜ć̴̡̨̧̛̖̱̥̙̳͓̤̻̑͐̅̑̏̐͊͒̾̎́͗̋̎̈́͐̌̇̓͆̓̒͐̔̄́̂̊͑̒̉͑͑͂́͛͋͒̊͋̓̓̀͂͒̎͋͋̎̽́͋̀̏͒̒̿̒̽̂̔̂̀̅͂̋͐̋̈̀̿̿́̍̕̚͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠ơ̸̢̨̨̢̲͚̤͖͇̦̯͓͍̤͈̹̖̞͕̗̬̮͔͚͙͎̩̣͓̹͎͚͈̖̚͜l̴̨̢̧̡̢̢̢̡̨̢̧̛̺̳̭̘͙̬͙͖̬̲̠͔͈͎͇̠̼̘̗̭̤̥̖̭̻͎̱͈͓̲̺̬̫̤̻̙̮̬̯̻͖͇͔̹̩̟̰̣͙̫͎̤͔̼̩͙̬̖̟̪̤͇̟̫̭̳͙͈͇̮̞͕̰̮̙̪̳̟͈̿́͌̀̄̽͗̄̄̆͑̔͊̈̊͌̄͒͋̎̓͐͂̀͛̊͊̐͂̀̽̒̂̊̔̆̏̌̍͛̾̉̽̑̾̋̅͛̌̆̎͛͑̉͑̕̕̕̚͜͠͝͠å̸̧̧̨̨̛̛̛͍̖̗̲͙̝̜̲̪͖̟̬̱̜̜͚̳̻͉͎̪̩͎͈̟̻̫̟͖̲̤̜̥̮̝̗̳͖͕̻̞̙̳̤͚̹̳͍̭͔̤̼͍̬̼̌̒̔͂̈͆̆͒͂͌̄͗̌̆̉̀̉̽́͂̔̆͂̽̌̈́̏́̿͋͂̎́͛̑͛̐͗̋̑̀̃̀̇̎͛̊̇̆͊̏͗͂̋̒̎͛͆̅͑̀̿̎̉͊͑̍̚̚͘̕͘͘͜͠͠͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅ

Future kink

Old rich white people get results.

Can't wait to fight Thomas

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Frolicking in fields? Better check yourself for ticks.

The keyboard just needs to be 6ft long and have nonsensical shit hanging off it like skulls on ship chains.

Also the keyboard keys would not be enlarged. There would be about one thousand regular size keys on it.

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Gotta lick the wrapper after you slide them off.

Your sacrifice will be remembered...tracked, cookied, and geotagged.

The folks exposed died a few days after. So it wasn't instant. Very slow and horrible probably as all their organs and cells died at a molecular level and skin fell off.

So damage over time and can not be healed. Would be accurate.

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Carpet my hole?

Would that classify me as a "kink"?

This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.

https://www.planaformen.com/

Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.

Pedophiles and non-consent are a couple good reasons not to.

It's ok to share with family privately for sure. Publicly to the rest of the world, got to ask why would a parent do that? Probably to gain attention for themselves, it's not for the child or considering the child. They are essentially starved for engagement and attention and using their child to satisfy that need. That's the problem.

Simply put the strangers that want to see your child are not always for good reasons. Why do that to them?