Salesforce is the latest tech company to cut jobs with 700 layoffs, report says
businessinsider.com
Salesforce is the latest tech company to cut jobs with 700 layoffs, report says::The job cuts, which amount to about 1% of its workforce, follow a series of layoffs last year.
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Marc Benioff: “This was a hard decision, and with heavy hearts we must immediately reduce our wage slaves by 700. This was not an easy decision for my bean counters to disrupt these lives, but it was an easy decision for me to destroy their dreams. There are emotions of some kind that I may potentially be feeling.
“Thankfully, any tears that may form in my eyes, either of joy or grief (I’ll let you decide), will be wiped away, effective immediately, by a warm ocean breeze while I’m on my catamaran.”
"The head of emotional manipulation and deflection will be releasing an official statement shortly"
Marc Benioff: “Indeed, and rest assured that, with some form of emotions, I announce today that this is truly one of the days we’ve ever had. Despite this departure of our 700 wage slaves, we must continue to strive for greatness, adjust for new demands in this market, synergize our corpo-speak, become leaner, agile, and more aggressive, and certainly pad the coffers of the owner class.”
“We must be ready to innovate in our space. For this fiscal year, our teams need to be ready and work themselves to their bones. I expect our sales force to sleep on our SalesForce factory floor, with no detours forever more for sure.”