I will say this again down below but I like it so much that I want to repeat it to start out with as well, if you do not mind: Thank you for your kind words:-).
I tend to think of ADHD & autism as more chemical, whereas for me it is my trauma and decisions that have created this. I could be making stuff up and it is all that way. The brain is weird, and trauma is a bitch, on steroids:-P.
Moreover, I think everything that is an advantage is also a disadvantage, and vice versa. It is like the game rock-paper-scissors: nothing is "best", only good in certain contexts, but you never know what the next round will bring.
The ability to "shut out the world" and just CREATE - it can literally change the world, and also at the same time get you fired. It did for Steve Jobs, and then weirdly enough they brought him back! The execs reportedly hated that they had to do that, yet needed him b/c otherwise they could not create money out of thin air. It must have been so humiliating to them, to have to bow before the laws of economics and touch reality so directly, rather than simply impose their will and have everyone immediately say "yes!". Anyway I am proud to be neurodivergent, and went looking for ways to further break out of the mold. But then likewise after I left my last position, I am also looking to reign that in too, so that I can maintain a steady income as well as create:-P.
You too are getting better at that I see - and that's definitely a good thing:-). Whether we are ever truly the masters of our own fate or not, we can at least step up and attempt to grab the reigns, and I think that's a good thing (otherwise, the reigns wouldn't even need to be there?:-D).
I've said this to others too, and I will say it again: I prefer thoughtful replies. I reply to enough common stuff all across the Fediverse that I'm solid on the "banter", but it is so rare to have the TRULY thoughtful ones. Like cooking, it is worth the wait for the preparation time:-).
And I believe you about the trauma causing you to feel "anxiety" for not responding sooner. I... well let's just say that I ABSOLUTELY understand that (yes, you guessed it: I am the same way, and like you I fight that).
Thank you for your kind words:-).
I will say this again down below but I like it so much that I want to repeat it to start out with as well, if you do not mind: Thank you for your kind words:-).
Hey! Right back at you, friend!
I tend to think of ADHD & autism as more chemical, whereas for me it is my trauma and decisions that have created this.
Yeah they are very difficult to tell apart. Most of my traumas come from the fact that I was different, without understanding that I was different. I tried so hard to not be different my whole life that I've ended up with damage that I'm not sure I will ever be able to completely fix. Most of the symptoms that I display that stem from trauma would be indistinguishable from a neurotypical person with similar traumas.
Moreover, I think everything that is an advantage is also a disadvantage, and vice versa. It is like the game rock-paper-scissors: nothing is “best”, only good in certain contexts, but you never know what the next round will bring.
That is also how I see it. It's actually such a beautiful thing too. You can't have anything if you don't have balance. I don't believe that there is a "wrong" kind of person, just maybe someone who is not suited for the current task at hand. It doesn't mean that they are useless. In a capitalistic society, yeah maybe but I'd rather argue that capitalism is useless (I don't think it is but I do think it's time for it to retire) than a person.
The ability to “shut out the world” and just CREATE - it can literally change the world, and also at the same time get you fired.
Yeah it is a double-edged sword for sure. It feels like a crippling superpower at times. Yes I can concentrate on a project for 24 hours straight, but I also can't feed myself during that time, I can't do anything but what's right in front of me. But still, I am also very proud to be neurodivergent. I wish I had known more about it earlier, but maybe I wouldn't have taken it the same way if I learned about it earlier, who knows.
I’ve said this to others too, and I will say it again: I prefer thoughtful replies. I reply to enough common stuff all across the Fediverse that I’m solid on the “banter”
I agree, but banter also serves to open the door to potentially thoughtful replies. I basically use it as a feeler, kind of like a "Hey how's it goin'" or "Hey, nice weather!". Funny how I only really learned what the purpose of that was a couple years ago. Sometimes you send out a quick quip and someone sends one right back that shows a "compatible thought-process". Also I just really enjoy saying stupid silly shit.
And I believe you about the trauma causing you to feel “anxiety” for not responding sooner. I… well let’s just say that I ABSOLUTELY understand that (yes, you guessed it: I am the same way, and like you I fight that).
Yeah it's tough to fight it. Especially when you grew with with instant messaging. I've basically been in front of a computer with all my instant messengers opened at all times and now I regret it so much. I don't want to be accessible 24/7, I mean I kinda do but really I can't. It leaves you no time for you and in the end you can't be there for anyone if you're not there for yourself. I wish I had realized that sooner.
Thank you for your kind words:-).
💜💜💜💜
Most of my traumas come from the fact that I was different, without understanding that I was different.
Yeah, I feel like I can well understand. Obviously not ofc, especially your particulars - and this is no contest, leastwise not one that anyone would ever come close to "winning" - but in general. For example, the former sentence could be a HORRIBLE thing to say? Lacking empathy - like "I skinned my knee one time, so I know precisely what pain you are going through!" -or it could be... not, and I don't even know the difference!!! To me it sounds logical therefore I share it. And that is why I feel like I know what you mean: other people react, and I have little idea why, which leaves me constantly trying to second-guess every single tiny fucking thing. Maybe I am sighted and they are blind, thus lacking the ability to see as clearly as I do, they have a different set of facts, so react differently? But at the same time, I KNOW that I am blind, especially if I cannot "see clearly" enough to guess their reactions, so it cannot be as simple as that. In reality, it is both. And my trauma I suppose is some whole other thing entirely, related to neither, and yet since it interconnects with both... sigh, anyway, I halfway get what you mean:-).
Be careful about wishing for capitalism to retire. We you just might get your wish. Ngl, the wealthy look to be gearing up to replace society with something different, and it might leave the broken democracy and capitalism portions behind, replacing it with simply abject slavery - a form of communism where YOU work hard for THEIR gain (instead of your own as capitalism typifies), and thus "everyone is equal", except for the like 5 people at the top. Who at that point might not even be people anymore but rather AI robots, or even just plain & simple corporations, where even the CEO has no more rights than a janitor, just a few extra perks.
I do not think the exercise about what we all should want is entirely useless, but I do worry that we are getting so wrapped up in such thinking processes that we, collectively as society ofc, are forgetting that we may not get what we want, and rather that the evil ones may dangle some pretty bauble at us, but end up switching that bait with their own devious version of it as we try to grasp at it. Trump is a living example of that - despite making himself a butt-monkey puppet for Putin and thus not being the true "agency" doing the thinking himself, still he serves well enough as a name to call it - where he offered to his supporters to overthrow Biden in an effort to "save democracy and freedom". Ofc the January 6 rioters would not have ended up "saving democracy" AT ALL, and THEY are the ones taking away people's "freedoms"... which is why this is a perfect example of what I am saying here: what THEY "offer" is not necessarily a good thing, when they are predating upon our emotions and we (collectively, societally) are too dumb to realize that:-(.
Trump may also be a weirdly good example in another way: showing us that there truly CAN be a "wrong" type of person:-). I mean, what is wrong with hollowing yourself out to become a mouthpiece for someone who would rather choose to hide in the shadows? There are multiple ways to be correct, and MANY more ways to be incorrect, but there are some, very few things to be avoided. Except, and this is the part that gets weird, sometimes, at least on evolutionary timescales, sometimes that WORKS!? Like, literally avoid all the traps set for you, not b/c you were too smart to fall for them, but b/c you were too dumb to have fallen for them!!!!:-P Still, while there may not be a "right" and a "wrong" way, there are ways that tend to work better than others, and Trump's way seems wrong to me. But other things, like a lot of my own feelings, I have little control over, so I don't worry too much (hehe, that is an enormous lie just so you know:-P) about whether they are "right" or "wrong":-P. As the stoics said: only worry about what you can control!:-D
I just really enjoy saying stupid silly shit.
Holy crap are you my soulmate? J/k - I don't even believe in that - but... well, it sounded silly in my head, so I HAD TO SAY IT!:-P The weird part is, whenever I do say stuff like that, I tend to get down-voted. (I still do it though:-P - their reaction is on them, but I got my fun and moved on:-D)
About fighting against instant messaging: fwiw, I know my limitations, and therefore work around them. In this case, I only ever access Lemmy from a webpage - either mobile or desktop - and never allow notifications to be turned on. I hope that thought sparks something in you. Not that I am advocating for it mind you - that's your business and I do know if it would even work for you, but what I hope it will do is spark a thought process in you.:-) In turn, I would hope that thought process would either lead you to change something so that you felt more free, or else that you would stay the same but again, feel more free and settled in what you are doing:-).
And if it helps to hear from the other side, I would hate to be the cause of any pain for you. Though I am dumb as shit - in this respect at least (we all are smart in many but not all ways, okay so maybe not "all" but MANY people have various forms of intelligence, which are usually not entirely evenly distributed) - and might not know how to avoid that? Anyway, again it is obviously not a "directive" b/c I have zero rights to such, but just me sharing how I feel, when I say that I would hope that you take some time for yourself. I also hope you do not forget me!!! But like... in a way I guess I do then, if that would cause you undue strain? I feel like you more than most people will understand what I mean here... even though I do not, fully, myself:-).
Rest easy:-P. Until it is time to rise again:-).
Be careful about wishing for capitalism to retire.
Oh I know hahah. I'm always careful for what I wish for. I might not always chose the right words to put down but in my head my wish is pretty clear and simple. I wouldn't wanna be able to say exactly what it was though because then according to the rules of the universe and the wishing laws, it would never come true 🤪
I have little control over, so I don’t worry too much (hehe, that is an enormous lie just so you know:-P)
Hah! Yeah I definitely relate to that hahah. I also try not to worry about things that are out of my hands but I still can't stop thinking about it. I think I'm getting better at not really worrying and just accepting that I am just kind a visitor in this world. I find it to be relieving to not worry about things that are out of my reach, instead concentrating on the things that I can actually touch. However, I still constantly think about everything that is out of my reach, hoping that one day my reach extends either directly or indirectly through other people who I am in contact with. Stoicism is cute in theory but in practice I'm not sure it is, although I haven't really spent more than a couple hours thinking about it and I have definitely not put it into practice. I tried reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations a long time ago but never actually managed to get that far into it.
Holy crap are you my soulmate? J/k - I don’t even believe in that
Hahah yeah I don't know about soul mates. I wish it was real but at this point in my life I've lost faith. Also fuck the downvotes, people who actually take time to downvote things that are harmless aren't worth a second of your time. Not upvoting would end up doing the same thing but no, they have to downvote. It's trash behaviour from sad people.
About fighting against instant messaging: fwiw, I know my limitations, and therefore work around them.
I'm getting much better with it now, although I think it's because my mental health has just been generally improving overall in the past couple months, making it easier for me to look through the fog at the things that are actually hurting me.
And if it helps to hear from the other side, I would hate to be the cause of any pain for you. Though I am dumb as shit
Aw hahah don't say that, but I do understand what you mean as I am also dumb as shit. Oops, I said it too. I also believe that everybody has some kind of intelligence and wish more people could see that. Even someone who appears to be dumb as bricks will probably know way more than you in many areas. There's just so much knowledge to be amassed out there and everybody picks up different bits. Thinking that someone is just 100% stupid and doesn't know anything just shows a lack of insight or understanding.
Rest easy:-P. Until it is time to rise again:-).
I have! I've been feeling too good to stay cooped up at home these past couple days. I guess I haven't really been resting but the change of scenery has been really nice.
John Stewart (Daily Show) had a great message yesterday about what we were talking about wrt Trump: people around his orbit say one thing, but do the exact opposite irl, revealing how it is authoritarian BS and currying favor rather than reality. But he says it much better than I ever could so I will let you hear it from him.
It’s (downvoting) trash behaviour from sad people.
I need to talk with you a lot more often - this is stuff I need to hear:-). Speaking of, I am glad to hear that your mental health is improving. I thought mine was too but it is hard to navigate the storms of life and my sense of self is still tied up in the wrong things.:-( Then again, I will meditate on it and it becomes an opportunity to do better and grow... so that's always a boon. Nobody enjoys those opportunities, but we do become so much better - less Monkey, more Mind - as a result:-).
I thought mine was too but it is hard to navigate the storms of life and my sense of self is still tied up in the wrong things.:-( Then again, I will meditate on it and it becomes an opportunity to do better and grow… so that’s always a boon. Nobody enjoys those opportunities, but we do become so much better - less Monkey, more Mind - as a result:-).
Aw, that's just part of the ups and downs of life. Just don't let yourself fall too far down. Two steps forwards one step back is still one step forward. The last 2 days have been pretty shit for me in terms of mental health but at the same time I still realize that I am still doing MUCH better than I was just a month ago. It's always a bit painful when your mood and mental health takes a bit of a dive but it helps to try and keep things in perspective.
I will say this again down below but I like it so much that I want to repeat it to start out with as well, if you do not mind: Thank you for your kind words:-).
I tend to think of ADHD & autism as more chemical, whereas for me it is my trauma and decisions that have created this. I could be making stuff up and it is all that way. The brain is weird, and trauma is a bitch, on steroids:-P.
Moreover, I think everything that is an advantage is also a disadvantage, and vice versa. It is like the game rock-paper-scissors: nothing is "best", only good in certain contexts, but you never know what the next round will bring.
The ability to "shut out the world" and just CREATE - it can literally change the world, and also at the same time get you fired. It did for Steve Jobs, and then weirdly enough they brought him back! The execs reportedly hated that they had to do that, yet needed him b/c otherwise they could not create money out of thin air. It must have been so humiliating to them, to have to bow before the laws of economics and touch reality so directly, rather than simply impose their will and have everyone immediately say "yes!". Anyway I am proud to be neurodivergent, and went looking for ways to further break out of the mold. But then likewise after I left my last position, I am also looking to reign that in too, so that I can maintain a steady income as well as create:-P.
You too are getting better at that I see - and that's definitely a good thing:-). Whether we are ever truly the masters of our own fate or not, we can at least step up and attempt to grab the reigns, and I think that's a good thing (otherwise, the reigns wouldn't even need to be there?:-D).
I've said this to others too, and I will say it again: I prefer thoughtful replies. I reply to enough common stuff all across the Fediverse that I'm solid on the "banter", but it is so rare to have the TRULY thoughtful ones. Like cooking, it is worth the wait for the preparation time:-).
And I believe you about the trauma causing you to feel "anxiety" for not responding sooner. I... well let's just say that I ABSOLUTELY understand that (yes, you guessed it: I am the same way, and like you I fight that).
Thank you for your kind words:-).
Hey! Right back at you, friend!
Yeah they are very difficult to tell apart. Most of my traumas come from the fact that I was different, without understanding that I was different. I tried so hard to not be different my whole life that I've ended up with damage that I'm not sure I will ever be able to completely fix. Most of the symptoms that I display that stem from trauma would be indistinguishable from a neurotypical person with similar traumas.
That is also how I see it. It's actually such a beautiful thing too. You can't have anything if you don't have balance. I don't believe that there is a "wrong" kind of person, just maybe someone who is not suited for the current task at hand. It doesn't mean that they are useless. In a capitalistic society, yeah maybe but I'd rather argue that capitalism is useless (I don't think it is but I do think it's time for it to retire) than a person.
Yeah it is a double-edged sword for sure. It feels like a crippling superpower at times. Yes I can concentrate on a project for 24 hours straight, but I also can't feed myself during that time, I can't do anything but what's right in front of me. But still, I am also very proud to be neurodivergent. I wish I had known more about it earlier, but maybe I wouldn't have taken it the same way if I learned about it earlier, who knows.
I agree, but banter also serves to open the door to potentially thoughtful replies. I basically use it as a feeler, kind of like a "Hey how's it goin'" or "Hey, nice weather!". Funny how I only really learned what the purpose of that was a couple years ago. Sometimes you send out a quick quip and someone sends one right back that shows a "compatible thought-process". Also I just really enjoy saying stupid silly shit.
Yeah it's tough to fight it. Especially when you grew with with instant messaging. I've basically been in front of a computer with all my instant messengers opened at all times and now I regret it so much. I don't want to be accessible 24/7, I mean I kinda do but really I can't. It leaves you no time for you and in the end you can't be there for anyone if you're not there for yourself. I wish I had realized that sooner.
💜💜💜💜
Yeah, I feel like I can well understand. Obviously not ofc, especially your particulars - and this is no contest, leastwise not one that anyone would ever come close to "winning" - but in general. For example, the former sentence could be a HORRIBLE thing to say? Lacking empathy - like "I skinned my knee one time, so I know precisely what pain you are going through!" -or it could be... not, and I don't even know the difference!!! To me it sounds logical therefore I share it. And that is why I feel like I know what you mean: other people react, and I have little idea why, which leaves me constantly trying to second-guess every single tiny fucking thing. Maybe I am sighted and they are blind, thus lacking the ability to see as clearly as I do, they have a different set of facts, so react differently? But at the same time, I KNOW that I am blind, especially if I cannot "see clearly" enough to guess their reactions, so it cannot be as simple as that. In reality, it is both. And my trauma I suppose is some whole other thing entirely, related to neither, and yet since it interconnects with both... sigh, anyway, I halfway get what you mean:-).
Be careful about wishing for capitalism to retire.
Weyou just might get your wish. Ngl, the wealthy look to be gearing up to replace society with something different, and it might leave the broken democracy and capitalism portions behind, replacing it with simply abject slavery - a form of communism where YOU work hard for THEIR gain (instead of your own as capitalism typifies), and thus "everyone is equal", except for the like 5 people at the top. Who at that point might not even be people anymore but rather AI robots, or even just plain & simple corporations, where even the CEO has no more rights than a janitor, just a few extra perks.I do not think the exercise about what we all should want is entirely useless, but I do worry that we are getting so wrapped up in such thinking processes that we, collectively as society ofc, are forgetting that we may not get what we want, and rather that the evil ones may dangle some pretty bauble at us, but end up switching that bait with their own devious version of it as we try to grasp at it. Trump is a living example of that - despite making himself a butt-monkey puppet for Putin and thus not being the true "agency" doing the thinking himself, still he serves well enough as a name to call it - where he offered to his supporters to overthrow Biden in an effort to "save democracy and freedom". Ofc the January 6 rioters would not have ended up "saving democracy" AT ALL, and THEY are the ones taking away people's "freedoms"... which is why this is a perfect example of what I am saying here: what THEY "offer" is not necessarily a good thing, when they are predating upon our emotions and we (collectively, societally) are too dumb to realize that:-(.
Trump may also be a weirdly good example in another way: showing us that there truly CAN be a "wrong" type of person:-). I mean, what is wrong with hollowing yourself out to become a mouthpiece for someone who would rather choose to hide in the shadows? There are multiple ways to be correct, and MANY more ways to be incorrect, but there are some, very few things to be avoided. Except, and this is the part that gets weird, sometimes, at least on evolutionary timescales, sometimes that WORKS!? Like, literally avoid all the traps set for you, not b/c you were too smart to fall for them, but b/c you were too dumb to have fallen for them!!!!:-P Still, while there may not be a "right" and a "wrong" way, there are ways that tend to work better than others, and Trump's way seems wrong to me. But other things, like a lot of my own feelings, I have little control over, so I don't worry too much (hehe, that is an enormous lie just so you know:-P) about whether they are "right" or "wrong":-P. As the stoics said: only worry about what you can control!:-D
Holy crap are you my soulmate? J/k - I don't even believe in that - but... well, it sounded silly in my head, so I HAD TO SAY IT!:-P The weird part is, whenever I do say stuff like that, I tend to get down-voted. (I still do it though:-P - their reaction is on them, but I got my fun and moved on:-D)
About fighting against instant messaging: fwiw, I know my limitations, and therefore work around them. In this case, I only ever access Lemmy from a webpage - either mobile or desktop - and never allow notifications to be turned on. I hope that thought sparks something in you. Not that I am advocating for it mind you - that's your business and I do know if it would even work for you, but what I hope it will do is spark a thought process in you.:-) In turn, I would hope that thought process would either lead you to change something so that you felt more free, or else that you would stay the same but again, feel more free and settled in what you are doing:-).
And if it helps to hear from the other side, I would hate to be the cause of any pain for you. Though I am dumb as shit - in this respect at least (we all are smart in many but not all ways, okay so maybe not "all" but MANY people have various forms of intelligence, which are usually not entirely evenly distributed) - and might not know how to avoid that? Anyway, again it is obviously not a "directive" b/c I have zero rights to such, but just me sharing how I feel, when I say that I would hope that you take some time for yourself. I also hope you do not forget me!!! But like... in a way I guess I do then, if that would cause you undue strain? I feel like you more than most people will understand what I mean here... even though I do not, fully, myself:-).
Rest easy:-P. Until it is time to rise again:-).
Oh I know hahah. I'm always careful for what I wish for. I might not always chose the right words to put down but in my head my wish is pretty clear and simple. I wouldn't wanna be able to say exactly what it was though because then according to the rules of the universe and the wishing laws, it would never come true 🤪
Aw hahah don't say that, but I do understand what you mean as I am also dumb as shit. Oops, I said it too. I also believe that everybody has some kind of intelligence and wish more people could see that. Even someone who appears to be dumb as bricks will probably know way more than you in many areas. There's just so much knowledge to be amassed out there and everybody picks up different bits. Thinking that someone is just 100% stupid and doesn't know anything just shows a lack of insight or understanding.
I have! I've been feeling too good to stay cooped up at home these past couple days. I guess I haven't really been resting but the change of scenery has been really nice.
John Stewart (Daily Show) had a great message yesterday about what we were talking about wrt Trump: people around his orbit say one thing, but do the exact opposite irl, revealing how it is authoritarian BS and currying favor rather than reality. But he says it much better than I ever could so I will let you hear it from him.
I need to talk with you a lot more often - this is stuff I need to hear:-). Speaking of, I am glad to hear that your mental health is improving. I thought mine was too but it is hard to navigate the storms of life and my sense of self is still tied up in the wrong things.:-( Then again, I will meditate on it and it becomes an opportunity to do better and grow... so that's always a boon. Nobody enjoys those opportunities, but we do become so much better - less Monkey, more Mind - as a result:-).
Aw, that's just part of the ups and downs of life. Just don't let yourself fall too far down. Two steps forwards one step back is still one step forward. The last 2 days have been pretty shit for me in terms of mental health but at the same time I still realize that I am still doing MUCH better than I was just a month ago. It's always a bit painful when your mood and mental health takes a bit of a dive but it helps to try and keep things in perspective.
This is indeed a great perspective:-).