"I wish you well in your future endeavors"

ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 868 points –
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someone that’s survived DA and has has to fight people like you constantly who want to dismiss it because “☝️🤓 well Women are more often victims of abuse than men”

I would never tell an individual that their trauma doesn't matter. You keep saying I did this, and you have not even once shown me where or how I did that. Just quote the place where I said this. I would love to understand.

they are just trying to twist words to make it sound like maybe there’s some equivalence here. Have some statistics from Australia. You can look them up for your country if you care:

and

If you’re wondering why so many categories don’t have rates of violence against men, it’s because they have a “high relative standard error”, which is statistics speak for “the rate is so low we can’t properly measure it”.

and I get that pointing this out is completely pointless because you'll just say "That not what i was implying" without offering an explanation as to what you're actually implying or having the self awareness to realise my original comment was saying "Which im sure isnt what you’re trying to say, but its the insinuation you present whenever you bring up stats like these."

But then you both doubled down on defending that insinuation as well as denying you insinuated it. Which is insane and leads me to believe you did actually intent to say.

I'm pointing out rates of violence to show that women in general do have good cause to be cautious and overly polite when rejecting men. And the point about the rate being so low is just a statistical fact. It is in fact too low to reliably measure.

If you want to explain how this creates an insinuation that your abuse doesn't matter, or any other insinuation, you need to explain it, because I didn't say it. I'll try to understand where you think the insinuation comes from, but I don't see it currently.

You're saying you want an explanation from me, but you haven't provided an explanation yourself either. You have just given me bald assertions.

Its actually like talking to brick wall.

I think I've wasted enough of my time trying to explain things to you just for you to play dumb.

You have yet to ever explain why you think I'm saying what you apparently think I'm saying. I told you I would try to understand if you did, but you declined to.

As to the kind of person this makes you, I want you to hear this: you are an abuse survivor. It sucks that you went through that, but it doesn't make you good or bad, or qualified to say what other people mean when they talk about the subject.

Some people go through abuse and they learn to be empathetic and understanding, and to put themselves in the shoes of other abuse survivors to understand them. You apparently have come out of it thinking that now every conversation of abuse and violence has to specifically center your experience or it is somehow dismissing you personally.

That makes you selfish. You don't have to stay that way, but if you keep insisting that everyone else is the problem and you are right, then you will.