Parents with genuinely good looking sons but mostly daughters. How do you make sure they don't build their whole personality around looks?
cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/823828
because it can be if people start to treat them differently when they stop looking appealing they may don't understand it at first and later maybe have a depression and no plan b
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I try to emphasize the value of hard work more than anything else. I don't say, "wow, you're so smart," I say, "wow, you worked so hard on that." I will say, "you look nice," but more often, "good job working on your hair."
Yup, this is exactly it. When I praise their appearance, it's always something my kids actively did: picked out an outfit, styled their hair, etc., or even grooming and hygiene choices.
Yep. “Wow, you picked out a cool outfit” is another way to compliment actual work and creativity rather than genetic lottery winnings.
Those are the best kinds of compliments in general, I think, whether it's a parent complimenting their child, someone flirting, a platonic compliment, or whatever else! Compliment things that are within their control and that they can feel pride over and it feels a lot more meaningful.