How does it feel being in a relationship?
The fact I'll die alone without ever feeling the love of a woman besides my mother and without a child saddens me. So, as kind of a consolation, I want to know... How does it feel? Being in love and being together, the sex part, just living together and all that...
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I don't believe you hate everything.
What is the last film you saw you enjoyed? Or song, or book?
Believe that. Trust me.
I like music but I don't see the point. Bought a guitar and did nothing with it.
Liking music means you don't hate everything.
What bands, or artists do you like?
Nu metal? Only the 2000s most mainstream ones.
Hah, excellent, me too! Every now and again I'll put Follow the Leader on and try to make whatever the hell noises it is Davis does 😁
Whats your favourite album, or track?
Some Linkin, some Deftones, some SOAD. Nobody likes that music, especially women here.
All good choices, Deftones self-titled album is incredible.
You're getting ahead of yourself, we've only just left the house for your first 100m walk, it doesn't matter what other runners like.
Go and listen to some music you like, and let yourself enjoy it. Don't worry about anything else right now.
I've been listening the music I enjoy for over 2 decades by now, nothing changed. I'm fucked.
You're not fucked, that's just the bit that wants you to be sad talking, instead of the bit that wants to be happy.
You may have been listening to it for 20 years, but do you let yourself feel any positive emotion during it?
I mostly feel anger, a bit of sexual desire and desire to tell everyone to go fuck themselves.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, you can use music to process emotions you may avoid at other times.
What gives you a positive emotion? What makes you slightly smile?
Seeing people fail. Seeing the bad guy win in a movie.
I wouldn't class revenge fantasy as positive, if I'm honest.
Parts of your brain will fight you on this, but try and think of something "nice" that makes you feel a tiny bit better, or happier, or relaxed.
For me, it's stroking my cats and/or going for a walk, but it could be pretty much anything really - as long as it isn't "I just want to watch the world burn" type stuff.
This isn't easy, it won't happen over night, but if you keep trying to identify something like this, and then purposefully choose to do it on a regular basis, you'll have done the first 100metres.
Try to remember that part of your brain wants you to be sad and angry and depressed. You've listened to that bit a lot. But the bit that wants to be happier, that believes things can be better, is what is keeping you replying to this thread. Practise listening to that bit more.
I wish you the very best of luck. You can do this. You are worth it.