‘I am not made for war’: the men fleeing Ukraine to evade conscription

schizoidman@lemmy.ml to World News@lemmy.world – 179 points –
‘I am not made for war’: the men fleeing Ukraine to evade conscription
theguardian.com
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Sorry... I have no idea what you mean by 'inaction.' I told you the action I would take- I would flee before my daughter was an adult.

But you also seem to have some idea in your head that if my daughter were an adult, I would tie her down and put her in the basement if she wanted to go back and fight rather than let her make her own decisions.

But no, I will not allow my underage daughter to fight in a war and I will do anything I can to stop my greatest fear from happening. If you have the ability to overcome your greatest fear, good for you. I do not claim to have anywhere near that level of bravery. And if lacking bravery is evil, I guess I'm evil. But it's an inherent evil I have no control over. Wouldn't that make it a mental illness rather than an ethical violation?

Sorry… I have no idea what you mean by ‘inaction.’ I told you the action I would take- I would flee before my daughter was an adult.

And you don't see how fleeing necessarily implies inaction on matters of the preservation or sacrifice of the lives of others?

But you also seem to have some idea in your head that if my daughter were an adult, I would tie her down and put her in the basement if she wanted to go back and fight rather than let her make her own decisions.

Perhaps you can point out where I said that.

But no, I will not allow my underage daughter to fight in a war and I will do anything I can to stop my greatest fear from happening.

Here's what you said originally:

I’m too old and too sick to ever be called up to fight unless it’s hopeless. But I have a 14-year-old daughter and I see no reason for the modern U.S. military to keep its “women can’t be drafted” policy in such a situation. I can’t lose her. My biggest fear, one I have nightmares about, is outliving her. Even if I was super patriotic, I don’t think I’d risk her being forced to fight. I would flee.

In order for both claims to grok, your original statement would need to have implied that the US military abolishing its "women can't be drafted" policy to ALSO add a "And we're drafting underage kids now" despite nothing else suggesting that, AND that risking her being forced to fight and the fear of outliving her is only valid so long as she's underage AND unwilling, despite nothing else suggesting that, AND that argument being put forth being entirely irrelevant to the subject of the article, which is of people of conscription age fleeing, AND that argument being irrelevant to the comment you were originally responding to, being about someone's conscription-eligible kids being called up and them fleeing because of that.

If you have the ability to overcome your greatest fear, good for you. I do not claim to have anywhere near that level of bravery. And if lacking bravery is evil, I guess I’m evil. But it’s an inherent evil I have no control over. Wouldn’t that make it a mental illness rather than an ethical violation?

Oh, please. That argument can easily posit that, since we live in a deterministic universe, nothing is an ethical violation, because we have no control over our own actions.

Also, since you wanted it all in one comment chain with regards to your incivility and 'calling people evil' claim:

Here's what I said

If your argument isn’t that saving your child under these circumstances is moral, what you’re saying then, is that you recognize full well that what you’re proposing, since it is seemingly entirely without limits, is unforgivably evil, but you’re 100% okay with it anyway and have no interest in examining or questioning it.

Is saying that an argument or position is evil now unacceptable, so long as someone holds that position or argument?

I couldn't force my adult daughter to flee with me, so I think it would be obvious that I was talking about her as a child.

Look, I get that you currently think that I support genocide because, as a parent whose biggest fear in life is his child dying would do anything to stop that from happening, but I think you need to take a step back and a deep breath and think about what I'm saying here and what you expect of me.

Let's say your biggest fear in the world was being in the room with a dog and someone started telling you that if you didn't get in a room with a dog, you held an evil genocide-supporting position? How does that make any sense? It's not a political opinion, it's not a choice to be terrified of dogs, and expecting everyone to overcome the thing that terrifies them the most is somehow something achievable by most people.

I can't not be terrified of something that terrifies me. I can't not do whatever is in my power to stop the thing that terrifies me from happening. Good for you if you can, I don't have that sort of bravery and I would suggest that most people do not have that sort of bravery or there wouldn't be things like therapy for irrational phobias.

You quoted my original comment. You must have read that it was my biggest fear and the one that I have nightmares about. And yet you're berating me for not being able to overcome something that most people are not able to overcome as if I'm some sort of unusual case here. If I'm like most flawed humans, guilty.

Re your quote- I said you were coming close to violating civility rules, not that you were violating them. Can you really claim you're responding to me in a civil manner even if you aren't using insults?

I couldn’t force my adult daughter to flee with me, so I think it would be obvious that I was talking about her as a child.

You couldn't 'force' your daughter to flee with you now, at 14, if the state was trying to keep her for conscription purposes, as the only way you can 'force' her now is either by physical force (which would not be viable over fleeing an entire country unless you live a very short trunk ride to the border) or by the coercive apparatus of the state (ie filing a missing persons' report if she runs off).

Look, I get that you currently think that I support genocide because, as a parent whose biggest fear in life is his child dying would do anything to stop that from happening, but I think you need to take a step back and a deep breath and think about what I’m saying here and what you expect of me.

I expect that "Literally anything and everything" be off the table as an acceptable sacrifice.

Let’s say your biggest fear in the world was being in the room with a dog and someone started telling you that if you didn’t get in a room with a dog, you held an evil genocide-supporting position?

It's good that you bring up fear of dogs - I have very severe arachnophobia. I can't stay in the same room as a spider, no matter how harmless. I can't even look at a spider, real, photographed, or drawn, without panicking. If I said that ANY cost was worth me not having to go into a room full of spiders from floor to ceiling, and someone pointed out "What about an actual and serious risk of genocide being committed because you didn't", for me to hold that any cost was worth me not going into that room would be evil and in support of genocide, without a doubt.

I can’t not be terrified of something that terrifies me.

This is true.

I can’t not do whatever is in my power to stop the thing that terrifies me from happening.

So by your argument, if someone feared being poor, more than anything in the world, they would be helpless to stop themselves from stepping on anyone and causing any amount of mass deaths in pursuit of remaining rich, and it would not be alright for anyone to call them evil for that?

After all, preservation of one's own wellbeing transcends not only species but kingdoms.

Good for you if you can, I don’t have that sort of bravery and I would suggest that most people do not have that sort of bravery or there wouldn’t be things like therapy for irrational phobias.

I would say most people don't make apologia for their phobias.

So by your argument, if someone feared being poor, more than anything in the world, they would be helpless to stop themselves from stepping on anyone and causing any amount of mass deaths in pursuit of remaining rich, and it would not be alright for anyone to call them evil for that?

I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously after this analogy.

Feel free to believe I'm an evil person who supports genocide because I won't allow my underage daughter to die in a war. That's fine. Just bear that in mind when you agree with me on any other position I hold on any other issue that you are agreeing with someone who also is an evil genocide supporter, so you might want to think about whether or not it's a good idea after all.

Anyway, you implying you're not being uncivil is just silly and I think we should just end this before you end up taking a break from this community.

I’m sorry, I can’t take you seriously after this analogy.

Because it casts doubt on whether a fear-based justification for immoral behavior is valid?

Feel free to believe I’m an evil person who supports genocide because I won’t allow my underage daughter to die in a war. That’s fine.

In the discussion you literally posited that any cost, including genocide, was worth not letting your daughter (implicitly, as I clearly outlined, not when she was underaged) die in a war. I don't know what you call that except conditional support for genocide. Most people, I think, would have some sort of moral issue with the cost being 'literal genocide'.

Just bear that in mind when you agree with me on any other position I hold on any other issue that you are agreeing with someone who also is an evil genocide supporter, so you might want to think about whether or not it’s a good idea after all.

The fuck? That's some "Hitler liked dogs too - are you SURE you like dogs?"

Even if your positions were 99% evil and 1% good, that doesn't make the 1% good no longer worth agreeing with. And in all likelihood, it's probably closer to the reverse. I don't know why you feel that people can't defend evil positions unless their entire worldview is evil.

Anyway, you implying you’re not being uncivil is just silly and I think we should just end this before you end up taking a break from this community.

Uh-huh. It's just silly, because you made the accusation that I called you and not the position you were defending evil, and after it was pointed out that I quite clearly stated that the position you were defending was evil, you lost the ground you were making threats on. But ban me if you like. It would be terrible if someone thought that allowing genocide was evil.

Okay, I'd say you had enough warnings that you were not being civil. You have been here far more than long enough to know why your behavior is not acceptable. I'll give you some time to cool off.