Men in their 40s, what’s one piece of advice for men in their 20s?

TheArstaInventor@lemmy.world to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 189 points –
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I'm 36.

Do yourself a favor. Dont drink alone.

Sound like a tall order? Work on that. Your liver is important. You'll be alone a lot. You get in that habit now, it'll be with you when you're 40, and your liver will not be a fan.

"Work on that" what do you mean?!? -- you get home from a shit day at work, or you stop at a bar on the way home. You get drunk to numb the calcified agony of the working life. -- that's what I mean. There are other ways to numb thatee less maladaptive, they just take more effort and take affect less quickly. Move toward it for me tak health.

Do you spend hours on the couch scrolling on your phone? Try to go on a 2 mile walk every day. 4 is even better. Your heart will thank you. Your hips, knees and ankles will thank you. Listen to a podcast. You can still binge content, just... Get your body moving. And get your eyes to focus on the horizon every now and then. It's good for your eyesight long term.

Get yourself out of breath, heart racing from pushing yourself physically at least once a week. Preferably nearly every day.

Take up an artistic hobby. Write bad poems. Write bad stories. Write bad songs. Draw dumb cartoons. Draw bad portraits. Sing your best, but sing. Dance.

Stretch.

Brush your teeth twice a day.

Floss.

Do planks.

Side planks too.

Drink water.

You should be able to do 20 pushups.

You should be able to touch your toes.

Sprint as far as you can at least once a month.

Just don't get complacent being complacent.

Invest $1 for every $1 you put in a savings account. Put $1 into a retirement fund for every $1 you put in that savings acct too. Oh, and $1 in a Roth IRA at the same rate.

Got an extra $100? $25 to savings $25 to investing, $25 to Roth, $25 to 401k.

Do that til your savings ~= 6 months living expenses. Then stop that fund and split it 3 ways for investing, retirement, retirement.

Use your investment (and if things go south, savings) for a down payment on a house to minimize your mortgage.

Edit: in debt? Have more than 1 source of debt? Focus on the biggest one. If you can make minimum payments on all and have money leftover it goes to the largest debt/worst interest. Pay em off one at a time til your chins above water.

Yeah regarding the drinking alone; it's an easy escape from whatever is happening right now (45+ yrs here). Not an alcoholic but I definitely have a bad habit (that's what all alcoholics say, right?) during non work hours to disconnect (not sure from what to be honest..life?)

I'm not good by what I suggest lol.

Trying to get them young because these habits die hard.

It is easy to say you're not an alcoholic. Have you read what defines alcoholism? I qualify. I wouldn't assume I do.

Here's the cold slap in the face for us all. Count up your points...

Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a > longer period than was intended.

There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.

A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects.

Craving, or a strong desire or urge to use alcohol.

Recurrent alcohol use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home.

Continued alcohol use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of alcohol.

Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of alcohol use.

Recurrent alcohol use in situations in which it is physically hazardous.

Alcohol use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by alcohol.

Tolerance, as defined by either of the following:

*A need for markedly increased amounts of alcohol to achieve intoxication or desired effect.

*A markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of alcohol.

Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:

*The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for alcohol (See the “How is alcohol withdrawal managed?” section for some DSM-5 symptoms of withdrawal).

*Alcohol (or a closely related substance, such as a benzodiazepine) is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.

The DSM-5 defines AUD as a problematic pattern of alcohol use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by at least

::: spoiler booze shame warning

2 of those previous 11 symptoms occurring within a 12-month period.

The number of symptoms determines the severity:

2 to 3 symptoms for mild AUD,

4 to 5 for moderate, and

6 or more for severe. :::

Whew! I drink 4 or 5 beers daily and have for years. None of those listed markers applies to me. I don't drink to get drunk, just to relax.

Four or five a day and not getting drunk? Holy shit, that's a tolerance! If this isn't tongue-in-cheek, I say examine the list a little more closely.

That's typically less than a beer per hour. I get a buzz if they're IPAs or other high APV beers, but otherwise I just like the mellowing effects

Okay, you do you, but my father's career was as an AODA counselor, so I've heard a lot of stories, and "I just use it to relax" comes out of the mouths of alcoholics so often it's a cliché. There are other ways to relax without the long-term damage to one's health.

This alone qualifies you as an alcoholic. You can kid yourself all you want. Your body will catch up with you.

A downvote doesn't change this.

Both of the last two apply to you. As do the second and third.

You meet at least 4 of them. Your alcoholism is "moderate". And that's assuming you're being honest with yourself about the rest.

That also relates a lot with other addictions (including behavioral addictions like social media or general electronic addiction)

Remember alcohol is itself a central nervous system depressant. I do drink in moderation (2-3 a week) but everyday is a bad idea, even outside of any harm to your liver or whatever, because it can make you depressed and downers of all sorts (including Benadryl) accumulate damage over time that can contribute heavily to dementia risk.

If you are worried about it, that seems a clear enough signal, you don't have to label yourself as anything, cut down if you can. Going to the gym or yoga class after work can provide the same wind down in a healthier way. I do understand wanting a separation - it is so nice to come home, sit on the porch with a drink, to separate work from home life, but most days I go to yoga instead.

None is better than some, some is better than a lot.