I'm cumming

PinkyCoyote@sopuli.xyz to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 5 points –
3

My ex-girlfriend used to break oatmeal cookies over my bare chest and would vacuum it up with a Bissell handheld vacuum. She'd call me her oatmeal boy and make me empty the vacuum after we were done.

She got out of prison last year and tried to crash at my place. Haven't heard from her since.