Trust me... Pick an apple and read the review

Lumi@beehaw.org to Jokes and Humor@beehaw.org – 45 points –
applerankings.com

An excerpt from Red Delicious:

Oh how the mighty have fallen! Believe it or not, the coffee grinds in a leather glove known as “The Red Delicious Apple” was once a robust firebrand credited with reinventing the apple from mere cider-fruit into a full-fledged lunch-worthy sidepiece. It even won the Stark Brothers apple contest in 1894. Likely your great-grandma’s favorite apple, this once flavorful Prometheus has been mass-produced into desolation.

Nowadays, you can find this thick-skinned, flavorless, mealy imposter unwashed in a dirty wicker basket on the floor of a convenience store. What a sad state of affairs. It’s time to hang them up old man, your time has passed.

10

As an enjoyer of apples, I feel seen :D So very many mediocre ones out there, and yet they keep hanging on!

Old Reddit quality post (I mean peak Reddit not the dystopia its quickly becoming). Awesome site! Very funny and useful. Thanks for posting.

Clearly they're just ragging on every apple because they didn't rank Fuji as the best. What's the point of a list if they're just going to blatantly lie?

My favorite apple is opal so that's the first one I looked up when I came across this website a few weeks ago. I didn't know what to expect but definitely not what I found. 10/10 website

I feel a hard disagree on macs, but I can't fault someone for their love of apples.

Tried the Cosmic Crisp a few years ago but I think it lives up to its hype. I agree through, the Red Delicious apple is a mealy textured mess of a fruit.

I worked on a apple orchard, and I couldn't disagree with this list more lol. They're also missing the best apple ever: Cox's Orange Pippin