Discussions on Reddit was often exhausting and mentally draining. How can we make it less so on the fediverse?

A bit too often taking part in discussions on Reddit was just mentally draining. Initially the topic looks so promising and I would love to discuss it. But too often people were not interested in sharing ideas beyond their own opinion, and many people were obsessed with "winning" the discussion.

Trying so discuss the finer points back and forth in a satisfying way was a rare occasion. Even In not so big subreddits you would think were filled with like minded people this was difficult. and comments were trying to end the discussion instead of coming with an idea and trying to further it.

How can we all promote good discussion on this site or the wider fediverse?