A small amount of hairs will always grow back.

Yeah, that's what I was saying on matrix is what concerns me. Like, I'm thinking I just want the most permanent removal possible. I'm such a perfectionist, and it causes bad thoughts to consider flaws and stuff. I really need to find a surgeon and go over this stuff. Also a therapist would probably help a lot right now..

::: spoiler Description: clockwise-pointing curved arrows encircling an emoji gif that cycles through happy and unhappy faces, matching the outer circle of text boxes containing the following:

I love buying girl stuff!! Cute shoes, thigh highs, tops, skirts, short-shorts, dresses, bras, panties, I love shopping so much!!

Shopping feels so lonely. It’d be so much more fun to go shop with friends.

I want some girl friends!! We could go see movies, go shopping, go to clubs, chat about all the things, It would be so awesome!!

Life feels so very lonely. I don’t have any friends, no romantic relationship, and no idea how to even go out and find people.

I want a cute boyfriend!! I want him to **** me, **** me, **** my ****, ***** me, ***** me, ******* *** ****** me!!

My body feels so foreign. I deeply crave intimacy but my body feels wrong.

I want bottom surgery!! I wanna be smooth, flat, comfortable, and sexy! I want to feel complete! I want to have a vagina!!

Surgery feels so distant. I need to find a surgeon, get psychiatrist referral, laser is taking forever, and it’s all expensive. :::

Interesting. I am also prescribed progesterone (capsules), and I didn't really get any push-back. When I started HRT, my doctor had said that we could consider it once she had gotten my estrogen levels where I wanted them, which she had said would be after about a year.

Well a year on HRT later, and blood-work showed my estrogen levels were within the lower range for women. So I asked her to increase my dose one more time and prescribe progesterone, and she did without hesitation, after explaining it a bit.

I'm really lucky to have such a great doctor. I'm in a deep red state, and it takes an hour to get to my doctor appointments in the nearest blue city. I guess I'm also lucky that it's only an hour each way.

I have two somewhat personal questions for you, if that's okay:

• Do you intend to take progesterone for life, or are you expecting to stop taking it at some point?

• Do you take it everyday?

I currently take it each night, but only for the first half of the month each month.

Thanks for reading 😊️

I maybe got a little carried away in this comment.

What really pissed you off in a therapy session?

TL,DR: lack of privacy, security, communication, and respect

I'm not going to discuss the conservative "therapist" I had. I did eventually get an LGBTQ-friendly therapist.

I discovered that my therapist was typing up her notes on a Windows computer with a keylogger enabled by default, sending the data to Microsoft. The notes were also stored unencrypted on a server accessible by the entire IT department of the clinic.

She didn't understand the issue. This clearly voids patient-doctor confidentiality, and it destroyed my trust in the clinic.

I've experienced another issue while searching for a new therapist.

I found a therapist on the psychology today site that listed a full address. I showed up to make an appointment for a first session just to learn that she doesn't accept new clients without a phone call or email.

The only reason I had considered her was that she listed a full address, implying that phone and email weren't needed.

So I would recommend clearly communicating things like this, be privacy-conscious, and respect patient-doctor confidentiality. Without these fundamentals, there is no foundation of trust and respect.

What is the most important thing for me to try to understand?

I think the most important thing to understand for trans patients is that everyone's transition is unique, including the personal story.

So for instance, some trans girls/women say they were always a girl/woman, while others say they became a girl/woman.

It's important to listen and understand the individual and not get ahead of yourself.

I hope this is helpful, or at least interesting.

I'm pretty sure she's talking about Information Security (IPSEC), Operation Security (OPSEC), and generally being privacy-conscious. So like, being careful about how much personal information you share, so as to protect against doxxing and other bad stuff.

omg that is so good to know! thank you thank you! that is like the missing puzzle piece that actually calmed my mind about it. i should still get a therapist tho.

I do advise keeping an eye open for opportunities elsewhere.

I have been wanted to evacuate soon, but my heart is pulling me in lots of different directions, and I don't really know which path to follow.

In the meantime, you're not going to be a fan of this advice, but discord is a good place to find communities.

Yeah, that's what my friend Lacey was telling me. I just can't do that right now. Making these posts is difficult enough.

Thank you for the well wishes.

Thank you for the reminder for myself and others that read this thread. Yes, I am aware of the dangers and the necessity of public meetings, and I'd probably bring a family member with me if I actually find someone here to meet.

Thank you for the well wishes and support.

I'm not sure where you are

I'm in southeast Louisiana. I've been doing laser for my whole body since I started HRT, but I've only done three sessions on my...delicate region. I'm just concerned about the permanence of laser and the wait for surgery. One of the reasons I'm considering evacuating to a safe state on the west coast is that I could hopefully have the surgery covered by my insurrance.

Was 4 months for the consultation and almost a year for the surgery.

I've heard some people suggesting that some surgeons have a wait list of three to five years, and I absolutely cannot wait that long. One year is already long enough to consider.

Thank you for your comment ❤️

I'd like to respond to some of the things discussed in this thread, but I don't want to directly reply to anyone. I just want to share my perspective, not argue.

Transgender is currently accepted as an umbrella term and includes a variety of identities. What these identities have in common is that they are not cisgender. Disagreements about which identities fall under the trans umbrella are really about the specificity of the label itself. Some people seem to want the umbrella to be split into two distinctly different labels, with one being specifically for trans people who seek medical transition.

It all comes down to the definition of transgender as an umbrella term. Definitions of terms change, and it's not unreasonable to think that transgender may change meaning again in the near future. But right now, "not cisgender" is what defines transgender identities, and that includes non-binary people and trans people that don't seek medical transition.

As someone medically transitioning by HRT and seeking SRS, my identity is not diminished in any way by acknowledging the validity of other identities. My recent meme explicitly explains my desire for SRS, and there was no push-back. That's because I was explaining my own transition and not attempting to define other people.

Not all trans people seek medical transition, and that's valid. Not all trans people seeking medical transition want both HRT and SRS, and that's also valid. And what trans people want for themselves can change. It's important that non-cisgender people be accepted as transgender so they can accept themselves. Big questions about possible medical transition can be decided later.

Our enemies are the transphobes attacking our freedoms. Let's be kind to our fellow trans people.

❤️

OMG WTF!!!

HOW are you this GORGEOUS?!?

that figure! the long thick flowing hair! those legs! and then the dress, bow, and socks to show it all off!!

my envy burns 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(seriously wtf, you are ✨gorgeous✨)

Thank you very much for the information!

I'm still pre-op, doing laser, and procrastinating on investigating surgeons in blue cities. My doctor had said that some people take it forever, and some only temporarily. So that's why I was curious about your perspective, as someone who is basically where I want to be.

You doctor's hesitancy is concerning. I hate this overall trend of gatekeeping health care, like the current mess in the UK. That PhilosophyTube video about trans healthcare in the UK was an eye-opener for me as to how seriously toxic the healthcare system there had gotten.

And as far as the slight increase in chance of breast cancer (matching cisgender women), I had told my doctor from the start that I'd prefer breast cancer than ending things myself. Worst case, I die while transitioning and am at least able to feel joy in my final days. As a child, I never thought I would live past 30, but now I actually feel joy and a desire to keep going.

Thank you again for sharing some personal information with me ❤️

I appreciate the advice, but I would sooner harm myself than go back to facebook (sorry if that's too dark). If my choices in life are between being surrounded by friends while all interactions are monitored closely by facebook, or being forever alone and disallowed from human experiences, then there's really nothing here for me anymore. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Thanks cowboy, and yes it's been nice.

::: spoiler ... But I also feel like I've been numb for so long that this sudden capacity for feeling, mixed with these new relationships, has just melted me down to my very core and left me more distraught than I otherwise would have been. It's one thing to be lonely, but it's quite another to feel so connected and loved by others and yet unable to ever be in their presence. I was more positive when I made my original post searching for friends, but this time I'm just...I don't even know. I came here to distract myself, and I figured I may as well do this now, call out to the void to save me. But there's no one coming. I don't have hope that anything will come of these threads. I don't think I'm likely to find anyone. I just wish this were all easier. I wish I could just meet my friends and feel a sense of calm wash over me, allowing me to relax and breath easy, knowing everything will be okay. I need to be strong for others, but I also struggle to be strong for myself, and I wish I could just cry with my friends. I've cried enough tears in solitude, and I don't wanna feel trapped anymore. I can't continue like this; I need an escape from the pain. :::

❤️

If my doctor and/or psychiatrist make me wait like that, I don't know what I'll do. I feel trapped here in this red state. And the way things are going in the US right now... it's troubling. But one way or another, I'm getting that surgery.

damn, two therapists? this gate-keeping of healthcare is really exhausting and frustrating. exhaustingly frustrating. frustratingly exhausting. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

matrix regular here, vouching for uni: confirmed legit ✨💖✨

yeah i've been doing the laser first just like you said. my doctor that prescribes my hrt is the one who does the laser, and she said i may need the electrolysis after laser is done. well at least for the remaining light-colored hairs. buy yeah, i can kinda work myself into mild panic and stress out enough to doubt myself. like a lot. lol

Sending love and support to you and everyone stuck in Florida ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

You're in southeast Louisiana? Do you happen to use Matrix? I'd rather not join things like Discord if I can help it, and I'm not really a gamer. My laptop probably couldn't handle running steam anyway.

For some of us yes, and for others no.

It's difficult for me to even imagine the complexities of such a world that lacks gender norms. Would there be fewer trans people? Possibly. But in such a world, there would still be trans people like me that feel a strong need for surgery.

Edit: Forgot to mention HRT, which many of us would still need.

I get the suspicion that some of the more spirited discussions so far came with a tinge of suspicion that I'm one of the bad folks looking to invade spaces and sow discord,

Yeah, we generally have to have our guard up, especially in these types of threads. I don't know if you're familiar with the "just asking questions" type of transphobe, but it is a very real problem for communities like this one. The topic or phrasing of a question can raise red-flags for sure.

But I believe that you're being sincere.

Hiya. It's kinda hard for me to pulll away from Matrix and the friends that I've made there, and I've not been good about remembering to come back here to the fediverse. I really created this thread looking specifically for people to meet offline. If you're looking for more offine friends, you might want to join us on Matrix.

Also, thank you for saying my name 😊 It feels so nice to see.

Well I'm thankfully close to the Greater New Orleans Area, instead of being totally isolated from blue cities. As a last resort, I might try to work up the courage to go to Pride stuff this year, but I'm so nervous of large crowds of people and evereything being recorded for social media now. If it weren't for all of the cameras, I might actually be able to find LGBTQ+ people during carnival time.

Thank you for the luck 🍀 😊

Here's a currently working link from another invidious instance:

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=JrR84XFUGxg&local=true

I'm over a year on HRT and still don't fully understand my own sexuality. Is it attraction to women or envy? Is it attraction to men or a need for gender affirmation? Idk. I just know that I have strong desires and ambitions. 🫠

Is that good or bad?

If you have insurance now, it might cover bottom surgery.

I currently have Medicare, so it looks like I am covered. 😊

You'll likely need two letters of support in order to receive coverage: one from your hrt provider and one from a mental health provider.

Well I do currently have a GP that prescribes my HRT and should be able to write me a letter, and I have a Psychiatrist who knows that the only reason I'm talking to him is to get the letter. So maybe I'm all set and don't need to rope a third person into this to get consent to alter my own body? (I cannot begin to articulate the level of rage that I feel about my lack of bodily autonmy)

My surgeon did electro as part of the operation and I have had no problems over a year out with hair.

Wow, I had no idea this was even possible. I'm learning quite a lot recently.

what surgical technique interests you

I think you've already seen my messages about that in one of the Matrix chat rooms. If not, I can elaborate here or there.

how you're paying

I usually pay for things using cash that I withdraw from my checking/savings.

if you have insurance coverage

I currently have Medicare coverage.

how far you're willing to travel

If I need to flee the country, I'll do it.

what your cost limits are

I'm willing to empty my savings and, if necessary, sell access to my body. I need the surgery.

what you think about each individual surgeon

What I think I really need is to actually talk to one or more surgeons in-person so that I can know what to expect, and as I said before, I really don't wanna be on a waiting list for more than a year. That and the cost are the main reasons I'm considering evacuating to the west coast.

I'm hoping that I can get letters from my GP (who prescribes my HRT) and my Psychiatrist (who knows I'm only interested in the letter), and I figure that the letters do not expire and can be taken out of state if I evacuate. Is this correct?

Thank you for all of the help to start me off in my research. ❤️

looking at your pics, i am unable to even imagine you as anything other than a cute girl ✨🎀✨

and i'm completely serious about my envy 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

and you get the insurance immediately after moving if you are low income

I would guess that I'd need to actually have a residence there right? So like, if I can manage to rent a room, I'm good, but if I can't find a stable living situation it wouldn't count as having moved there?

I currently have Medicare, so I think everything should be covered if I can just manage to secure a residence.

Hey Ada, Mbin doesn't seem to support sending messages to Lemmy users yet, so I made an account on lemmy.ca to send you a message:

May I please have a registration token for Blahaj.zone matrix account?

❤️

(I made the account on old.lemmy.ca because it uses mlmym and doesn't require javascript - I'm weird, I know...)

Edit: Thanks! I've joined successfully. 🥳

(Also, I've been informed that Blahaj also supports mlmym: https://mlmym.lemmy.blahaj.zone)

I appreciate the recommendation, but there really aren't any mobile apps that are compatible with my Librem 5 phone. I run Linux, and I'm not comfortable running "traditional" apps that contain surveillance malware and engage in data harvesting. Social websites generally tend to require too much personal information, and so I feel banned from those platforms. I'm very glad to have access to the fediverse. Without it, I would have nothing.

I'm going to try to go to Pride events for the first time in my life and see if I can find anyone.

Hi 😊 Apparently DMs between Lemmy and Kbin/Mbin still do not work, so I can only see DMs from other Kbin/Mbin users.

I've sent you a DM from my Lemmy account.

I've checked out fetlife, but it unfortunately requires javascript, which is a hard pass from me. I don't feel comfortable accessing sites that block users like me. The reason that I use kbin/mbin is because it does not require javascript at all. Account creation and use of the platform are free from that requirement, giving me a better user experience and increased privacy.

Thank you for the suggestion though ❤️

Unless you have fuck loads of cash I'd say settle in for the long haul and cope,

😢

unless you're like some boomer with a house?

😢

I take it you're in the US?

yeah, in the deep south 😢

Is there insurance that covers it maybe?

😢

Laser, you mean on face or genitalia?

everywhere. i'm pretty much done with face now and have been focusing on genital region. i'll be doing electro of remaining light facial hairs soon.

i've learned some good info from this thread, that laser isn't technically necessary, that electro is also not technicaly necessary, and idk. i've already paid for several sessions, so i'm gonna get 'em done and take it from there.

i wish this were easier. i wish that i could just push the button. i wish it didn't have to be this way.

thank you for your reply ❤️

Even on mbin where I can't see your pronouns, your username itself is Emily. There's no excuse for their behavior.

I'd love to know why you think it's okay to insult her like that.