On SSI right now. My art has exploded recently because I have a lot of time. Every day, at least one complete piece. Still pretty poor, struggling financially. But oil pastels, gesso, baby oil, cotton balls, piece of plastic... because free time, I'm excitedly experimenting, create pieces deeply layered, sculptural. Was never possible when employed.

Worked at a day center that cared for adults with developmental disabilities. Part of my job was picking up, dropping off clients, event trips, activities. In my 1st 3 months there, I saw:

Coworker parked bus, pushed wheelchair client onto lift, walked away to smoke a cig. Client and wheelchair 10 feet off pavement, not tied down.

Some staff had to clean, change diapers. They would grab clients, throw them down, rip diapers off, spray lysol on their genitals.

In parking lot, coming back from trip, coworker shoved client so hard he fell face first into asphalt, bleeding, tooth chipped.

I could go on.

I tried talking with manager several times. She didn't care. I really needed the money, but couldn't stomach it, called adult protective services, who came out, and they got in serious trouble, shut down temporarily, manager fired, fines, etc. Lost the job, but don't regret it.

They're self aware. Understand the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. When they encounter someone different, they don't judge, see it as a learning opportunity. Put thought into their words. If you ask them a question, you can see them carefully thinking about it.

Phone got stolen last year. New phone, installed instagram, tried to log into account, but locked out.

Instagram tech support told me I either had to: 1) take a photo of myself, they'd check if it matched any selfies in my account, or; 2) I had to associate my Facebook profile.

I'm security conscious enough to not post selfies online, nor use Facebook. Goodbye instagram.

That butterflies technically can't fly. But that they do proves there's a god, creating miracles.

Modern aeronautics can explain exactly how a butterfly can float in the sir.

Oh, the one random person from my childhood who said that black men looked like gorillas, which means they're stupid and violent. Mexican men looked like coyotes, which meant they're sneaky and conniving. And white men probably had a similar flaw, but since she was white, she didn't know what it was.

I used to identify as Libertarianian. Resented taxes, overreaching, infiltrating my life, all about independence, don't want to be interfered with.

Then I became homeless. Realized how the social services, ssi, Medicare are important. Sure there are lazy people, but also those who genuinely need help, who want to get back on their feet. Care a lot more now about wanting to live in a society that actually cares about the people in it.

Yesterday, I finally decided to cut ties with reddit, except for targeted web searches. First it was the constant attempts to force me to download their app. Then denying me access to certain posts and subreddits cuz I wouldn't. Then the API debacle. Then few days ago, significant redesign that wasn't for usability, but for money,. Corporate greed. Used to spend hours on reddit, but past few weeks, there's hardly any worthwhile content. One has to be careful what one gets used to. Grateful I discovered lemmy yesterday.

Yesterday, browsing wikipedia, stumbled on articles that talked about this very thing, on how Russia took advantage of mental health systems. They started to classify nonconforming, rebels as mentally ill. A frequently used diagnosis was sluggish schizophrenia. Anyone who was socially awkward, thought differently got this diagnosis. Cuz if someone is questioning our government, they must be sick in the head

They used this heavily for decades to discredit political rivals, forcible confinement, lock them away, work camps. Think gulag archipelago.

Lemmy has been helping me lots. Been feeling so isolated, this is the first social online platform I've been able to participate in years. Talking to actual humans. Being able to help other humans.

Friends started to make bets that within 5 minutes of any conversation, I'll perk up and say excitedly, "I researched that!" And then bring up obscure, detailed facts. I don't like that I can be so predictable.... But wait, you ask, did the three fates have names? Well, I only know the Greek version, but there were Roman fates, fates in other cultures, woah, that made me think of Romulus and Remus for some reason, I read a fascinating book about them... 2 minutes later we are talking about the rise and fall of Rome, and the geopolitical realities of some obscure eastern European country in the spring of 1654.

Was gifted kid, always the smartest, highest test scores. Then I got older. I know I'm above average intelligence in lot of things. But smart enough to know how stupid I can be, that I have lots of faults, limitations. There are many kinds of intelligence, and always more to learn

Get bored with games SO quickly. Part of how to keep interest is figuring out on my own how the game works. And I can, on my own, figure out games, software, very quickly.

Too many phone games try to make you sit thru insufferable tedious tutorials. So you're not only depriving me the chance to figure out on my own, you're also insulting my intelligence. Any game does this, instant uninstall.

I like it. Just wish niche communities were more active.

I'm really into sci-fi. Constantly craving new content. Internet searches filled with if you like this sci-fi show, here are others you might like.

Farscape kept getting recommended. Muppets in space, how could I take that seriously?

Finally gave it a shot. Thank you, internet, for suggesting it repeatedly, awesome show.

Have an external hard drive filled with tv shows, been collecting for years. Most via torrents.

I have adhd. When I can internet on my laptop, I read fast, massive info processing, able to rapidly research vast amounts of data, mind can work high speed.

Right now, I have no internet. Trying to accomplish anything on my tiny phone, brain can't compute, carving on stone tablets slow.

Things I find myself saying frequently, to spur me beyond inaction:

Don't let perfection be an enemy of what's good

The only way to find out is to do it. Or, only way to know is to try.

Done art my entire life, and have learned even when I produce failure, I learn from these mistakes, and over time improve.

I get so wrapped in my head, plan things to death, to inaction. Like 2 days ago, been wanting to make my own wound salve. I could've waited, kept researching, to death, but impulsively bought few ingredients on Amazon. Got the ball rolling way more quickly.

The only way to break out of a slump is to try something. I don't know what will happen. But intellectually I know decisions, actions breed more possibilities, expanding one's world.

Go big or go home. Play Sims, and have an idea to build a house with a huge tree in the living room? Do it, make bold choices, take risks. That's the only way we can evolve.

I'm tomboyish queer chick, probably wouldve seriously considered transitioning if born in later decades. Get called sir, man a lot. Doesn't bother me. I got used to playing mmorpgs, everyone is assumed to be male, I never took issue with it, sometimes had fun with it.

My understanding is... if you're a minority with special requests. You're gonna know people might be confused. Don't judge harshly. Give people a chance to understand. If you want to be referred to a certain way, it's up to you to say that up front. And be prepared not everyone will be receptive.

I'm not speaking for everyone, or people wanting any, all pronouns used. This is more for the people wanting to accommodate, worried they'll offend.

My mother was a legal secretary, so she taught me shorthand when I was a kid. W/o was included in those teachings.

Economy of movement. I get up from chair, walk to kitchen. Always done as efficiently as possible, start to rise from chair, deftly pick up cup, smooth seamless turn, as I walk into kitchen I efficiently tilt, dance thru doorframe, step of feet perfectly timed to match curved motion of body, arm as it reaches for kitchen sink. Everything must be done as efficiently as possible.

My biggest fear, given mental health issues, wondering through out life if I'm going insane, seeing things, hallucinating, etc...

I'm terrified that the moment of death, I won't be able to tell if it's real or not. So it will be an infinitely protracted moment, and right now, I may already be in that moment.

Juggling. Friend decades ago taught me how to group juggle with other people. Lots of fun. But I've learned never to admit I'm into juggling, cuz apparently it's serial killer weird

I can't tell you how much I care what you think. Thanks very much for sharing!

If everyone was as perfect as you, the world would be a very boring place.

Wow. Thousands of years, billions of humans. And I got lucky to find the one human who is the pinnacle of evolution, who possesses all knowledge, has unlocked the secrets of the universe. How did you achieve this? Please, tell me your secret.

Sawyer squeeze. Used to spend more than $100 a month on bottled water. Not anymore.

Not specific to your situation, just a process I recently went through. White female, thick, wavy, unruly hair. For decades, most haircut, style places were white people focused. Most white women have fine, straight hair. These places just didn't know what to do with me.

Few months back, did research. 2a to 2c hair. Reading stuff online, many people with same hair were black women, sharing tips. So I went to a salon, all black staff and customers. Said, I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with my hair, anyone feel OK educating me?

Nice older black woman said with a smile, come over here white girl, let's see what we can do. Glad I took a risk. Best haircut, style, ever. She turned me on to a lot of good hair products.

Can't cite sources, just want to reaffirm. Kept running into that concept when researching game design, advertising, psychology.

Thought pop-ups in my head, I need to research about it. I alt tab, click in search bar... and I stare dumb at the blinking cursor... mind blank. Have to catch it fast, light speed, or it's gone.

I went to old school, pre second Vatican council Latin masses. On our knees on other days in dusty, stone walled rooms, heads down, everyone quietly counting rosary beads. Had to wear veil over head to enter church because women's bare heads weren't fit for the eyes of god. Large cathedrals, Latin chanting bouncing echoes off walls. Hunky jesus nailed to cross behind gaudy altar, his loincloth sculpted so teasingly low.

No longer believe in god, but damn, the theatrical pomp was next class, probably influenced work I do as an artist, and why I like bdsm so much.

Fat dyke. Cracker. Loser. Piece of shit. Failure. Being sexually harassed by guy throwing me against a wall, shove him back, told im a typical snowflake, yet another stupid bitch who can't take a joke. Get the fuck out , go back where you belong. Was especially fun living in homeless shelter, standing out front smoking a cig, and black guys driving by yelling at me that I'm a gentrifier.

Homeless shelters are fun.

Was severe albeit functional alcoholic til age 40. AA never worked. What finally worked was harm reduction, moderation management. Medical marijuana became a thing, and just one hit of a pocket pipe of medical grade indica... good for hours. No longer needed to drink a case of beer each night.

1st few years... I'd say, I'll let myself have 8 beers this year. Next year was 6. Year after, 3. By then, triggered addiction cravings stopped happening.

So weird, how overpowering the addiction felt when I was trapped in it.

I change laptops frequently. Used to buy songs from iTunes and every time I changed laptops, transferred music over, I'd lose access to them. Would have to go thru insane process to be allowed to listen to the music I'd paid for.

Similar thing would happen with some software, Adobe especially.

If you're going to treat me like a criminal, then I might as well be a criminal. Same with purchasing movies on Amazon.

I tried to pay for minecraft, but 2 hours later, Microsoft wouldn't let me. Kept trying to make me an Hotmail account.

Growing trend in software I'm not happy with. No longer allowed to own the things we buy, and forced to hand over my email, phone number, address, name, create account... used to be, you could just buy things, simply. That was that.

Corporations are getting drunk with power, overreaching, infiltrating people life.

Also, if in poverty, no food, homeless, etc. If I can't afford what I need. And can get it another way, I will

A dead rat. I found it, gave it funeral rites, put it in a tiny plastic coffin, stored it in the freezer. From time to time, I'd take the coffin out, put it in my bag, carry around with me for several hours, so the rat's soul wouldn't feel lonely. Then back in the freezer. This went on for at least a year.

It look me til mid, late 30s. Had drank so heavily for so long, was getting sicker and sicker. Realized was heading straight into Leaving Las Vegas territory, had to quit.

Suicide. I say that seriously. You can plan, prepare, accept, rehearse, make peace. But when it comes to the moment of actual doing, the human survival instinct is insanely powerful, frustratingly so.

Only tangentially related: Latin, the dead language, heavily tied into romantic, classical education. I recently found out that Latin in general wouldn't say, I did this, but instead, this was done. Less of an emphasis on individual agency. Fascinating aspects about linguistics, how thought, sense of self has evolved over millenia.

Yes. Yes it does.

I used to love doing web design. Was perfect career for me, a mix of creativity and coding. Websites then were art, creative, took risks. Then cms became standard, sites all looking the same. Sites are more user-friendly now, but I miss the wild, weird internet of its early days.

Since COVID, spraying lysol and febreze is WAY more prevalent. I've developed full blown MCS because of it. I'm now having trouble finding trash bags and toilet paper that isn't scented.

I'm old enough to have seen fads, social movements, come and go, technology changing constantly. I've learned one must adapt, things always change, and one should be careful about what one gets used to, what one depends on. Sometimes you have a good thing, then it dissappears. What matters is how you respond. I've learned to prepare for emergencies, what would I do if this is suddenly taken away?

Reddit was where I realized the online world has changed a lot the past 2 or so decades. Back in the day, we'd actively curate, use rss feeds, find a bunch of sites we liked, and create our own customized feeds.

But by the time of reddit, we were no longer doing that work for ourselves. I started to notice a pronounced echo chamber effect, less variety, seeing same stuff over and over.

Shoplifting. Lifting hubcaps. Forging checks.

Did a lot as a kid.

Once, no money for food. So posted to craigslist something about a broke dykes dinner. Bunch of fellow gay women showed up, each contributed one item. Memorable night. There was some whipping with green onions in the kitchen. One of the women told me (we were all out of jobs, struggling) that a straight guy would pay her $50 to throw tomatoes at him while he jerked himself off.