Bilbo_Haggins

Found safe and alive! I wish they'd put that in the title of the article but of course they want you to click on it.

Nazis get worse if you don't actively oppose them. That can look like punching them, but it can also look like actively ostracizing them by taking away their jobs, denying them participation in community events, or just straight up shaming them in public.

Pacifism only works if the other side isn't willing to kill you. These jackasses fantasize about genociding people as a hobby, so if you think pacifism is going to work for you then go right ahead but I'll be over here working on my defensive skills.

In many situations nazi-punching is not your best tactical decision, especially in the presence of cops. Using your words to hurt the poor Nazi snowflakes feelings works just as well and has the added benefit of potentially provoking them into getting themselves arrested if there are cops watching.

Cisgender woman here, I just wanted to add that if my husband were to come out as trans, that would not be a tragedy or something I wished he'd gotten figured out sooner for my sake. In this hypothetical scenario, if it somehow managed to make us incompatible as married partners we'd deal with it but people have gotten divorced for much worse reasons before. The worst part for me would be worrying if he'd been miserable during our marriage, because I love him and would hate for that to be his experience of our time together.

It's really hard to imagine because AFAIK we're both cis but personally I'd probably prefer to stay married to my spouse even if he changed his gender identity. I mean he's still the same person I married and we still love the same things and have a wonderful life and child together. I dunno, maybe it wouldn't work out in the end but I sure as hell wouldn't be mad at him for something he couldn't change.

Anyways, my point is you don't have to assume that your relationships with cis people will all get blown up if you do happen to be trans. I appreciate the urge to have your ducks all in a row before embarking on significant life events but the truth is that marriage and adulthood is super messy anyways. If you marry someone and have a kid with them the odds are good you will have all sorts of chaotic events to deal with- physical illnesses, mental illnesses, kid stress or illness, weight gain or loss, money trouble, job changes, changes in personality with age, the list goes on and on. The trick to being happily married is rolling with the changes, working hard at your partnership, and being committed to your partner, not having it all perfectly lined up at the start.

You're not missing anything, people are just weird about it.

Also the person who named it "toilet-to-tap" is an idiot. Reclaimed water is "toilet to tap" in the same way that a vegetable grown in compost is "garbage to garden." There's a host of sophisticated engineering processes in between the two, making the water just as clean as any other treated drinking water.

Mixing with river water or putting the water in a reservoir and then pumping it back out again simply makes people feel more comfortable about it and, like you said, reduces the "ick" factor.

They don't. My local shop has a waiting room with coffee, sodas, Wi-Fi, and seating/desks. Plenty of people (myself included) bring their work with them to the shop while their car is fixed. Also I've definitely seen people driving around loaner vehicles from dealerships before which is kinda a solution?

But you're right that it sucks that our society has designed places where it's impossible to get around without a car. My car shop is a short bus ride from my house or a slightly longer walk. If I take my car to the dealership, which is farther away, home is a bike ride away or I can go to the shops nearby. I'd guess this is the case in most denser urban areas except maybe some US cities which are just terribly laid out.

Did his share of the housework. My dad didn't know how to cook well, but you bet your butt he did laundry, vacuumed, dusted, washed dishes, whatever was needed around the house he did it. And he did cook at least once a week, although it was always stuff like grilled cheese or pancakes.

Growing up in a household where both parents put in equal effort at home really set up the expectation for me that this is how relationships work.

My dad was also very loving and openly affectionate to us all. He would give us hugs, tell us he loved us and how proud of us he is, even to the point of tearing up sometimes. I love that about him and see it as an admirable quality in men.

Girls learn what to expect from men based on what they see their fathers do. Be kind, gentle, and respect your daughter and that's the kind of men she'll surround herself with.

Advantages of bras:

• Look nice (if you're into that look, which many people are)

• Keep your nipples from chafing

• Support/containment for larger boobs

• Keep prudish people from being mad at your nipples

• Can be worn without a shirt for sports if they cover enough real estate

• When breastfeeding, help catch/absorb leaks

Disadvantages of bras:

• Uncomfortable if not fitted right
• Sweaty as fuck on hot days
• Expensive
• Many have to be hand washed if they are fancy

I would say I wear bras about 30-50% of the time and it's usually for either support/chafing prevention or looks. The rest of the time I can't be bothered. I'm also lucky to not have super large breasts. I know women who do may find a good fitted bra to be more comfortable than no bra.

When I was breastfeeding I wore them all the time though because it is super awkward to leak through your shirt in public.

Edited to add bullet points bc I suck at lemmy formatting

I get what you're trying to say but Stephen Farrea is a member of NSC-131, an actual honest-to-goodness neo -Nazi street gang. Like sig-heiling, swastikas, sonnenrads, the whole nine yards.

Now these jokers get plenty of support and encouragement from the local Republicans and that's a huge issue but it's important to make it clear that when we call this guy a neo-Nazi we mean that literally.

I'm a huge fan of Nabokov's and have read Lolita several times... But I've never heard it described as horror before and you are so right! I guess before I'd have classified it as tragedy but horror fits so much better.

It's basically a horror story told from the point of view of the monster.

The only "tragic love story" is maybe Dolores' mother trying to warn the world about Humbert being a pedophile only to be hit by a car and killed, unable to save her daughter. Or maybe Dolores' tragic battle to love herself and escape from all the men who want to take advantage of her.

Rowling with another steaming hot garbage pile of an opinion on sexual abuse, no surprise there. What an awful person.

Sparse on details but she was with an older man who was not her relative so I'm not hopeful it's a good reason. 😣

Cargo e-bike. Errands are fun now and I get way more exercise. It's hands-down my favorite way to get around town.

Another vote for mindustry! That game is a blast.

And if a municipality underprotects against heat? What happens?

People die of heat stroke, that's what happens. And the municipality maybe changes the law, but only after someone dies.

Protections in this situation are at the federal and state level because the consequences of doing them wrong are much more than just "suffering economically."

And because worker deaths aren't always a strong enough motivator at the local level. Frankly, not every town cares about their migrant workers and other working class folks, especially if labor is divided along racial and/or class lines.

Environmental engineer. I clean up chemical messes like oil spills, and make sure that the resulting land is safe enough for people to live on it.

It's fun and challenging, if somewhat depressing at times. Some things take a LONG time to clean up. On the plus side, I have great job security.

Jaws doesn't quite fit the prompt but although it's a good movie, the book is essentially a sub-par beach read. And there was no USS Indianapolis monologue in the book.

I would have had a local barbecue joint cater the wedding instead of getting a fancy caterer. The food was the most stressful part of our wedding and it wasn't even that good for the price and trouble.

Would keep the strawberry shortcake instead of wedding cake though, that was bomb.

Other than the food I wouldn't change a thing. I married the right guy and he's just gotten more awesome with time. And we had a (relatively) low-key wedding to start with so there's not much I have in the way of regrets.

Yeah.... We're talking about people who literally want us dead. And because it's America, they likely own guns. Some of them are literal neo-Nazis or Christian fascists and might actually try to do you harm if you're Jewish, Muslim, or gay. Making friends with them isn't just painful and unpleasant, it's dangerous.

Just to give you a sense of the type of things that you might have to sit through to be "friends" with these folks... My cousin had a kid in her Catholic school class write an essay comparing gayness to bestiality. Another cousin's husband constantly misgendered my trans sibling on purpose. My parents' neighbors hung a flag on their wall depicting a person pointing a gun at my parents' house.

I'll give you a pass since you're from Europe and have no sense for the level of extremism embraced by our right wing political groups but trust me... If "just talk to your neighbors" worked we'd be doing it. As it is, your best bet is to avoid them knowing your politics and get out if you can.

Aw damn thanks for fixing that! Yes I wrote it as a list and yes I forgot the double space. Still haven't figured out bullet points in lemmy

What could possibly be in your browser history that you don't want people to see?

I'm sorry, do you live in the same world as the rest of us? Seems like half the country wants to murder gay people and thinks porn should be illegal and you can't fathom why someone might want to hide perfectly acceptable parts of their identity?

This would basically disallow any closeted gay/trans person from ever running for office, for example. People deserve their privacy.

Bought a Eufy g30 robot vacuum because it advertised that it could climb over thresholds and it does! The accessories are cheap too, especially if you buy knockoffs. Bought it in 2021 and still going strong, no complaints after almost daily use in a home with a cat and a small child.

Audiobooks+ some other mindless activity shuts my brain off really well. Find a series you love that your library has and pick up a new sudoku or other puzzle app and go to town.

If you're having trouble finding books I recommend a long sci fi or fantasy series. The Expanse is great, or Dune is also fantastically long. If fantasy is more your style maybe someone can recommend something but I know the wheel of time has a ton of books.

As for mindless things to do while you listen to audiobooks, either find a puzzle game or pick something up to do with your hands that requires few materials and is calming and productive. Here are a few that work for me:

Coloring (you can print out free coloring pages from the Internet like the ones here: https://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/adult-coloring-pages/)

Color by number

Crochet or knitting (lots of good online tutorials and making a scarf is a good first project)

Modeling clay (just reuse the same clay over and over again if you want to save money/supplies)

Yoga

Walking on a treadmill or riding an exercise bike

Weightlifting with free weights at home

Tai chi

Best of luck, I know this type of thing is tough. Try to stick to regular wake/sleep cycles as much as possible and get outside during the day if you can, it definitely helps. Sending hugs and hoping things get better soon.

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When watching eagle nest cams, I've seen little birds and mammals hanging around eagle nests and scooping up scraps of leftover prey. I think in many cases a large raptor isn't going to go chasing around a little birds when they've already caught something bigger and the little birds play clean up crew and take away scraps that would be too small for the larger birds. Not sure if that's the case here but it's a cool little cooperative situation to notice. You'll also see little birds nesting under osprey nests, probably for the same reason.

I have a cheap smartwatch (amazfit bip) that tracks sleep and I have found it to be very accurate for me. I assume it tracks when I fall asleep based on heart rate and movement?

Anyways it plays nicely with my android phone and only cost about $50 and honestly I'm pretty happy with it! I was pretty skeptical at first but it's really handy as a fitness tracker too and I feel like it encourages me to stand up and exercise more.

I also have a somewhat erratic sleep schedule and it's nice to know when I'm starting to get into a sleep deficit and need to get caught up.

Oh, they totally do. That's why I'd suggest not punching a Nazi in front of the cops, even if they 100% deserved it. The cops will arrest you much quicker than they will a fascist even if you do the same exact thing.

And also definitely YMMV on whether this works at all, I'm in Massachusetts where the cops have to at least pretend they're doing their jobs so they will typically detain Nazis if they take an actual swing at someone. Other states this might not work at all.

Basket of old t-shirts cut into washcloth sized squares. The used ones go in a basket beside the toilet to be washed with the rest of the laundry.

If we're out of rags I just use TP. But you only need a few squares to dry off so it ends up using a lot less paper than if you didn't use a bidet.

I have a white Prius named Shadowfax so if I need to go somewhere fast I can yell "run Shadowfax, show us the meaning of haste!"

Get an ebike. It solves several of your cons at once.

No need to wear spandex or neon to ride on an ebike (or any bike honestly I bike everywhere and the only neon thing I own is my rain pants) just put lights on your bike and don't dress all in black.

Can't help you with the helmet, that one's pretty important but there's lots of nice looking helmets out there.

No getting sweaty on an ebike unless you want to, because you can crank the pedal assist if you're starting to sweat.

Have literally never had an issue finding somewhere to park my bike. Sure have an issue finding car parking though. At the downtown garage I park at, cars are $20 an hour but bikes are free.

You'll probably go faster than the cars if there's lots of traffic. We've done a car vs bike race a few times when we had both starting the same place and going to the same place and the ebike always wins or is like 10 minutes behind at most.

Bluetooth speakers and transparent headphones both solve the music issue.

Many ebikes have extra cargo capacity, so grocery runs are easier. If you've got a large family then you might need a cargo bike or to rent a car periodically for large trips.

The only real downside imo is the weather if you live somewhere extremely cold/hot and the safety from riding near cars. The rest is easy to get over once you're zipping down the road at 20mph getting those sweet, sweet biking endorphins.

Yeah I feel you on that, the fieldwork stage of the job can get tiring really fast, especially with the more routine stuff like asbestos and LNAPL spills. Vapor intrusion work is less of a bear, we're doing a lot of that lately and it's nice because it's indoors in the winter. I work in a larger company with a variety of projects so I'm not always doing the same thing and that definitely helps. In my current company people do tend to graduate out of the field positions fairly quickly (like 5 years) and move on to a desk job or at least a partial desk job but those first few years when you're in the field a lot can be hard and maybe impossible if you have any dependents that keep you from traveling.

I think it depends on your field of engineering and how much you enjoy the work. I find environmental engineering to be satisfying and a very dependable/lucrative income compared to many other non-engineering fields I might have been interested in.

Add to that most other fields that pay similarly or higher (doctor, lawyer, etc) require more/costlier schooling and it's a pretty sweet deal to be able to go into the job market with only a bachelor's or masters and making a decent wage right off the bat.

Of course the same enshittification/race to the bottom for prices affects us too but I don't know if there's any career that escapes that entirely.

I would also think maybe certain engineering fields are more stable than others. Mine is particularly recession-proof since we're driven by regulation (and bipartisan-supported regulation at that), not the economy. Massive layoffs are not that common in many of the other more "physical" engineering fields like structural, electrical, or mechanical either and even if you are laid off there is usually another company hiring. The skills are pretty portable as well so if you want to change careers you have a pretty good chance at being successful.

Is it a field of rainbows and butterflies? No, but it's a hell of a lot better than plenty of other jobs out there and it pays the bills.

Agreed. We have kept wearing masks in specific places (public transit, crowded events, airplanes) and it really does make a difference. I never get sick from airplane trips any more, which used to be a fairly regular occurrence.

I will say, I was never able to figure out how to stop a properly fitted mask from giving me a terrible headache after 8 hours of use so I'm glad I work from home and don't need to make the choice of mask vs comfort at work.

Robot vacuum. I got the Eufy Robovac on a black Friday sale and have never fucking looked back. Those things are magic, especially if you have a kid or a pet.

I have a "mom" sized pocketbook that I carry around and it always has the following:

• Band aids, nail clipper, and aquaphor tube
• Eye drops
• Wallet, phone, keys
• Masks
• Earbuds
• Hand sanitizer
• Sunglasses
• Small fidget toy
• Folding hairbrush
• Hair ties
• Small sunscreen stick, chapstick
• Pen
• Set of plastic cutlery
• Pill case with some commonly needed pills like Tylenol, Claritin, etc

If it's sunny I'll bring a sun umbrella and a hat, both of which can fit in the bag in a pinch. If it's raining, just the umbrella. It's not a perfect system but some things (especially the band aids and fidget) come in handy pretty often

Thank you for letting me know this was a thing!! Total game-changer.

I have a child and I'd be the first to recommend not having one. It's expensive, it wrecked me emotionally and physically, and I worry every day about what kind of world my kid will grow up into.

But all those things are worth it in the end to me because I really wanted to be a parent. My kid is an absolute treasure to me and I put up with the suffering because I do genuinely love parenting and love seeing him grow up. If I was any less enthusiastic about the process going in, I would have either run away or killed myself by now. That's how demoralizing and traumatic parenting can be. Granted I have a special needs kid but so do probably 10% of parents so do you want to roll those dice?

All that aside, the fact is that parenting these days is filled with societal obstacles. With both parents working, you're rationing sick days and constantly running out, leaving no time for vacation or personal days off. This leaves the option of either taking unpaid days off or reducing one's working hours. Since no one is home doing housework all day, working parents spend their evenings and nights doing housework. If you need to run an errand or take the kid to a doctor's appointment, that comes out of either your paid work time or your free time. Childcare is both expensive and hard to get, with wait-lists for daycares in some cities of several months. And once your kid is in public school, you have to find after school care, which is not guaranteed for every kid at every school.

And don't even get me started about summer. Three months of cobbled-together summer camps and asking/begging family members and friends to watch your kid when their busy schedules permit. If your kid has special needs or requires trained caregivers, you are out of luck.

These are fixable problems, but they require massive government-subsidized investment in childcare and parental leave structures and the government is not doing that. Childcare salaries are so low that the supply of daycare teachers is basically dried up. Same with public school teachers and afterschool caregivers. Why work as an afterschool teacher when you can be an independent nanny and make twice as much per hour? As for parental leave, there is no requirement that parental leave cover anything beyond the bare bones of the time needed to give birth, leaving most new parents to burn through their entire year's worth of sick time during their babies first month of life when there is a doctor's appointment just about every week. Then blow through it again next year when the kid gets sick twice a month in daycare. My kid is six years old and this is the first year I haven't run out of sick days before June.

Our society was designed for families with at least one full-time caregiver, and now that is basically impossible but the system has not been updated. This game is not designed for us. So why would anyone choose to play?

They never die. Gotta hand it to Toyota, they make a solid car. Corolla, Camry, and Prius are the three most reliable cars I know. I have friends with Toyotas from the 80s and 90s that are still going strong.

Ataulfo mangoes. At least in the northeast US, they are reliably delicious and ripen on the counter.

Cortland apples

Can't quote the lyrics without sharing the awesome lyric video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbQSzs11euk

Used to sing this song to my kid at bedtime but he hasn't asked for it lately. Maybe I'll try to work it back into the rotation.

Trike! Or recumbent trike. Or an e-trike.

I find it almost impossible to pick a favorite poem of hers, but if I had to it'd probably be "Tutaj" ("Here" in English) by Wislawa Szymborska.

https://medium.com/illumination/here-671e29357dcc

"Starvation Camp Near Jaslo" and "Foraminifera" are two other favorites and Clare Cavanagh and Stanislaw Baranczak have done an amazing job at the translations.