That's fair, and well said. If you want to continue to shepherd the community with trust though, start taking actions that continue to build that trust. Don't repeat the history we literally just walked away from.
Please include the community in discussions, such as changing the lemmy instance, and laying out your reasoning. Give us a chance to add our two cents. For the love of all that you hold dear don't do it in a gated community like Discord, make it public and accessible.
I'd honestly have preferred to see a discussion with the community about which instance to make official rather than a unilateral decision by Reddit mods.
This is frankly my beef with all of this:
You guys think you own the "brand" and not the community members. Good on you for putting in the effort to cultivate it on Reddit over the years and putting in the thankless work to moderate it, however, without the community your "brand" means nothing.
If we're truly open source enthusiasts maybe it's time to embrace some open source ideals around the community. Perhaps yearly mod elections which help rotate interested folk through the responsibilities. Some sign that you all are embracing the spirit of the community and not trying to own it.
Of course, if you care more about ownership, I'm happy to subscribe to both (all, if more pop up?) communities of the name "unixporn", although as a slight protest I will not to post to your "official" community since it will appear to not support the actual essence of what we are doing here.