This reads like you and your mother have had a longstanding negative relationship. I don't believe you or she are in the right place to discuss the extent of your disagreement or the source of it, based on what I'm reading here. Until you are, I think it might be healthier for both of you to walk away for a few years. I don't know her, so I don't know if she's an objectively bad person. What she said, and the actions you've described, sound a lot like someone who doesn't know how to consciously process the emotions around having someone they should love making choices that they find morally reprehensible.
So I don't know if she's a bad person. I can tell that the relationship you have with her is bad, and you should focus on your happiness and coping mechanisms.
Is ATProtocol as open as ActivityPub in terms of content? Could there be a Bluesky equivalent of Peertube, for example?