One day, I understood that my then-boyfriend was the real thing.
Before him, I had a couple of good relationships. I was happy, but always wondered if I would have been better off on my own. The thought would pop up every couple of days, I would seriously consider it for a bit, then decide I was happier with them than in my own. Then my now husband showed up and we started dating.
One day, some three-four months into this new relationship, I realized I never had that old thought. It just never crossed my mind for months that I should evaluate the relationship. We clicked on so many levels, he made me a better person because it made me want to be better.
We got married “fast” for some external reasons and I never doubted that was the right choice. Since then, i don’t have to think about it: I know my life is so much better with him in it.
My little piece of advice: you don’t have to think about the future, tomorrow, next week, they are all far off. Think about now, this hour, the next 5 minutes, or whatever stretch of time seems manageable. What do you do now? Cook dinner? Watch a show? Cry in the shower? The future might be scary and too much to manage now. You’ll handle it when you get to it. Now, you only have to think about right now.
Verbena tea is calming and soothing. Lavender is relaxing. Green tea for me is a calming ritual.
You got this. Maybe it doesn’t feel like it, but you only need to do one step, and you got that one step.