I'm a politics wonk and this is the first one in decades I haven't watched. I just don't think my liver can take it.

hey don't do ol hot shot like that

dude don't write that I had to narcan myself after reading it

For instance, GDP is a pretty crazy way to measure economic health.

I know a lot of economists who agree with you, it's just everything else we try to use to measure economic health on a macro scale seems to be worse. When your best tool is only 40% accurate, it sucks.

You get a mug a year here. It's illegal in my state to pay (the donor) for anything that comes from the body.

Jesus fed the 5000. Goku eats that much every day.

they steal our cheese and goddammit I need that cheese

Not my bathtub, no. It's too small.

So you're saying I just need a sous vide thingy that works in salt water (or to clean the damn thing afters) and a big tub, that's actually pretty doable

I lived in Utah for a few years. Statesian conservatives would make disability illegal if they had the opportunity.

could I get some kebabs please

Any port in a storm

I don't think my liver can take it.

When is JFK coming back from the dead

he can try

I follow. The best lies have a teensies pair of truth legs to get them started.

He can still serve one more term! Why don't we dig up Mondale while we're at it

Courts will still find a way to fuck this up for all of us. At least the lawyers will get rich.

How about Jimmy Carter?

Bang a rang

Oh dude you do not want to experience how many holes it comes out after that one

Sisyphus could try to change his pick, but he could never get there. He could only change half his pick, then half his remaining pick, then half the remaining remaining pick, and so on until nearly all his pick is changed. It could never be entirely changed though. It also comes with free choice of topping.

dude tell your uncle to stop fucking toasters

nah dude 30 feet of water that'll flood everest and shit

Why is there only one wolf

did it drink the other one?

if the internet has taught me anything and it hasn't, you can't properly contain bamboo

If I had less to lose, dude. (I'm already on a list, I'm not worried)

Wife swap

Why don't Americans simply not have a larger toddler eat this trigger happy rugrat?

If they bring a mariachi band I'm sold

Bouncy bouncy

I just want mariachi band to play Y Los Cielos on the other side of the door when I'm trying to squeeze out a really tough one, but that would be rude to them and those years are past.

oh gods what happens when the ai discovers the poop knife

Senator Feinstein never backed away from a fight

especially when it was with schoolchildren

You gotta go low and slow. 12 hours (give or take) at 225°F until it gets to an internal temperature of 203°F and becomes fork tender. That way all the collagen and fat renders out.

Oh dude the shit I flipped when I figured out the cult I grew up in was a cult? It was not pretty. I get it.

We have robots. It's the future now. We should be retiring at 85 while the robots live in luxurious sky cities.