Rumpus Room? High, out of the way, windows, so the kids can go ham without breaking them?

I dunno if you’re talking about the Simpsons, but in season 14, the episode about Rock Camp, Homer eats a pill off the cabin floor & talks to Jesus over in the corner.

“Coming this fall… wacky hi-jinx ensue as two men enlist the help of a fish to convince their bigoted neighborhood they’re not gay!!

Will the neighbors abandon their hurtful ignorance or will you be forced watch a man copulate with a fish purely for the sake of survival?

Find out Thursday evenings, coming this fall to the Hallmark Channel!”

Unless you accidentally punt the one that makes the toilet wine… then you’ll have a mess of alch-y chickens looking for your flask & going all puke-a-potamus all over your shoes.

Here it is:

Ever since I was young. I expressed interest in healthcare and becoming a nurse, so I began my study I gave my heart, my body, and my mind to you My long days and hours dedicated and giving you my all. There were times that working in the emergency room were extremely difficult, but also extremely rewarding. I have cried with my patients, with their families, and for them. They have even been there for me, and emotionally supported me during my hard times. The hands of all the patients and families that I have held, hold mine with me everyday of my nursing career encouraging me and showing me why I do what I do. I thought that would be all I needed to be able to care for them, and I know I had told you I would be with you to the end.

Told you I would be there through the good and the bad but you have taken my heart and slowly crushed the goodness it had.

You love bombed me with affection, because I knew I was going into something that matters. You made me feel comfortable, despite the rumors of your abusive past that I didn't want to believe. The compliments, pizzas, and thank you letters began to slowly have less meaning. The staff I had to help began to go away. They were unnecessary, in your eyes but so necessary for the patients and nurses to provide what you advertise as "quality care". When I thought it couldn't get worse you proved me very wrong when you started gaslighting and manipulating us.

You go around asking my colleagues and I what we need to help patients and improve satisfaction scores but when we tell you the truth you instead send us online courses saying we need to smile more and be friendlier. I remember the first time I heard about nurses getting hit and how you asked them what they did to get hurt or didn't do to prevent someone else from hurting them. Remember, you cant try to protect yourself by fighting back just lay there with your hands over your head during the minutes it takes for security to come. You started blaming us for things out of our control. Started criminally charging my colleagues, for things that were from what you are doing. As you know, the law doesn't care for the Swiss Cheese Model." I no longer feel like you care about me or the people you say you serve. I sit at my front desk just waiting for someone to come in and shoot my patients and I, just because of your lack of care for our protection You haven't even given us metal detectors or proper security to promptly keep us safe. You are only using and exploiting us to line your pocket with the common citizen's money for overcharged healthcare You don't care about anyone because you have a narcissistic personality.

If you say you cared, why don't you listen while we beg on our hands and knees. You say that we do so much and that we put up with so much When we think we are finally going to get the love and support we deserve, we only walk in to get free pizza and pens for the "healthcare heroes". Truth is you only care about your personal greed.

I want so desperately to continue to help people, but I cannot stay in this abusive relationship. You have asked me to do more with less every day, beating me to the point that my body and mind feel like they are black, bruised, and bleeding out. I'm only sorry to my colleagues and patients, you deserve so much better.

But my abusive partner is relentless, and if I stay, I will only lose my sanity and possibly my life forever.

YAY!!!! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!!

Asshole kept comparing himself to Capone…

Let’s give him what he wants!

Sentence his ass to 11 years & a roaring case of neurosyphilis.

They’re working it! Dominion is going after both Newsmax & OAN. Smartmatic, another voting company, is also hitting Fox with its own 2.7b suit.

Orange Smudge

Not until the fifth panel is drawn. Until the fifth panel drawn it is impossible to know whether they died or fused grotesquely into a single festering green-goopy figure who becomes a local superhero, and, overtime, earns the moniker of Toxic Avenger, thus rebooting the greatest franchise of all time.

It’s 50/50.

Seriously, the last line of the article, which is buried beneath the collage of ads, stated that the mom actually had to pay $250 to get her rights to her own son’s body back…

Holy fuck, indeed.

I didn’t commit suicide.

I had a plan, had it all laid out, and knew when I was ready.

Proceeded to get life saving-ly drunk & passed out. Woke up with a knife in my hand the next morning & knew I need to go to the hospital.

Cleaned myself up, called in sick to work, & went to UCLA Med.

Still here today thankfully. And as much as I appreciate what bourbon did for me that night, I have slowed my consumption significantly & have my head on straight.

It’s also pretty FUCKED UP that she was cleared for the procedure by one judge, giving her a glimmer of relief, only to have that snatched back by the Texas Supreme Court like 2 days later.

This whole situation & every lawmaker involved is proper fucked.

The worst part is, they never learn… it’s always the same damn questions, every damn time.

When their lil mini travel bible falls out of their bag in the checkout line, just start screeching,

“HEATHEN!!!! SMUT PEDDLING HEATHEN!!!”

We were not allowed to play kickball at daycare because I accidentally broke the teacher’s face. We only had a soccer ball to play with & I kicked it right back at her head.

Then we got a rubber ball a month or so later & kickball was back on. For all of 20 minutes…

I kicked the ball over the fence & hit a moving car, almost causing an accident.

No more kickball again.

All of those six statements were predicated with “This is such a non-thing that it hurts to even consider how stupid it is.“

Ergo, let’s not make it a thing…

If there are any ideas you want to make sure you protect upfront, write them down & mail them to yourself.

Don’t open it when it comes back & you’ll have postmarked proof the idea was yours on the day you mailed the letter.

That’s what they taught us film school in the early 2000’s anyways.

Babish’s Panko Crusted Salmon.

It’s stupid easy & relatively quick. The hardest part for me was the egg white. Had never done it before.

If you’ve never done it before, & break the yolk on the first try… don’t dump the egg, just save it for breakfast. Yes, I dumped the egg.

Link to video, I think it’s the second dish, towards the middle.

Link to recipe is in the video description.

Edit: PipedBot shamed me.Link to recipe if you don’t want to go to YouTube.

Damn skippy. They let Dennis Miller do it for a while, why not a dog?

Does this constitute a felony not of moral turpitude?

Cause if so, he can’t vote for himself in his home state.

I did this to a friend, no idea how high up their “weird dinner shit” list this sits.

I was in kindergarten when I got invited over to stay over & the mom served broccoli.

I hate broccoli.

I tried ignoring the broccoli, no dice. I tried telling the mom I was allergic, no dice. I tried trading in the broccoli for more bread, no dice…

Out of options, I begrudgingly ate a piece & knew immediately I couldn’t stomach another, so I did the only logical thing an illogical kindergartner knew to do….

I stuffed the broccoli in the couch cushions…

Yes, I got caught. Their dog sniffed out my stash.

There’s one key piece you’re missing, Joe Montana is actually resurrected Harvey Milk & has been this whole time.

This plan began back when Joe was winning Super Bowls, but Steve Young was an unexpected hiccup. The queer stopped spreading as fast when Joe got traded.

This Superbowl has been chosen specifically because Montana played for both the Chiefs & the 49ers, & because Joe Montana is also Taylor Swift.

They were going to do it 4 years ago, but Joe was still Arianna Grande back then.

It’ll all make sense when Andy Reid eats Travis Kelce during halftime.

Oooh! I live near a murder house!

It’s not actually a murder house, it’s just old.

But… it’s still pretty murdery.

Your mom. And she went hard.

If I was slinging popcorn in that fuck bucket, I’d be thinking twice before asking “Would you like extra butter?”

I used to take the weekly mailer coupons, the ones printed on newsprint, fold them up, & put them in the no postage necessary envelopes that came with credit card offers & what not. Seal em up & send them along.

I wish there was a way to do something similar with junk emails…

Maybe Charles was telling the truth, but the reporter missed the fact that Charles was, in fact, a ghost.

I say fire the reporter.

Looks more like a drop of urine floating out into the void.

I’m tempted to go in there as a trans woman & try to convince them to give me free beer because they think I’m a dude. Given that I like women, by their logic, that just makes me a straight guy dressed like a woman, ergo… FREE BEER!!!

I believe the technical term you’re looking for is narcissist, “theater person” is bit of a broader metric.

…however….

He was obviously willing to waive his tallywhacker around in front of a queer person’s security camera…

He’s still homophobic, but once he meets the right guy… ?

Maybe I’m just an optimist. Dude's still a dick.

With a body like a vacuum cleaner bag & face that looks like a jacuzzi jet, they’re about as adorable as they come!

It’s analyzing your skid marks trying to generate a faithful recreation of your farts.

It’s the only excuse.

You’ll have to replace them all with q’s:

• boqing
• miq
• eqit
• galaqy

So civilized in fact, there are monetized YouTube channels dedicated to catching & shaming people for not returning their carts.

So it’s kind of like the European system in a way. Instead of getting a coin for returning an abandoned shopping cart, you can get a subscriber count & ad revenue!

And probably the Mista-Mista lady who was crushed by the AC unit…

Take it easy Chubbs, you will be missed.

And don’t forget, these aren’t normal gators…

These are meth-fueled Florida gators who are as likely to ban books as they are maul a skier.

The Alps won’t know what hit ‘em.

Sounds like they got some of the discounts corrected within 24 hours, but other discounts remained for 3 days:

And it would be three days before IT staff at the prison shop were able to fully shut down the hacker-provided discounts, according to the hacker’s account.