Cuddle with 30 therapists and do drugs with them :3

I don't need therapy, I need to go home, play with Legos, cuddle with 30 cute people, and do drugs

No, as long as I got to do even one of those things and enjoy it, I'd call it a success

I just cry all the time, regardless of whether I'm showering or not UwU

Ok, how many of them do I have to eat to get a better life? Two bags, three? I'd eat up to five bags of macroplastics if they improved my life. Please.

Spellcheck is surprisingly influential and can even cause language change. From Gretchen McCulloch's book Because Internet (p. 67):

Default computer spellings are powerful enough to have created a shift in British English since the 1990s: while American English prefers a Z in words like "organize" and "realize," British English has traditionally used both -ise and -ize spellings. But spellchecks have tried to prevent people from spelling the same word differently within the same document by enforcing "organise" and "realise" all the time when set to British English, leading to an upswing in -ise endings among the general British typing public and the perception that -ize is only for Americans.

Anecdotally, I sometimes use a website called LanguageTool to "proofread" important texts, and it's good enough to point out simple mistakes that I can no longer see after working on a text for too long. Every once in a while, though, (and especially in languages other than English) it incorrectly marks things as wrong, but it has this weird kind of authority (it's a spellcheck, after all!) that makes me question myself.

Based and FOSS-pilled

Wiktionary says

In the original result of the Wug Test, children consistently produced wugs for the plural. However, plurals other than the standard wugs are sometimes used humorously, including wuggen (by analogy with oxen), weeg, and wuggi (by analogy with Latinate plurals).

Wuggi sounds nice. Huggy wuggi :3

Chemestry is… well, technically, chemestry is the study of metter. But I prefer to see it as the study of chenge. Now just… just think about this. Electrens. They chenge their energy levels. Melecules. Melecules chenge their bonds. Elements. They combine and chenge into compounds. That’s… that’s all of life. Right? It’s just, it’s the constent. It’s the cycle. It’s selution, disselution, just over and over and over. It is grewth, then decey, then trensformation. It is fescinating, really.

No Gods, No Masters in the streets

Oh God, Yes Master in the sheets uwu

Five Guys (hot adult humans who identify as men and are up for sexual deviancy with me) actually sounds real good rn

(I want to post this for the joke, but full-body latex feels a little hotter atm)

We once had a bunny who couldn't stand bottles of any kind. When you put a bottle on the floor, he would knock it over. It was adorable. I miss him every day <3

That's what you get for typing 80085 😤

Make me your pet, tie me up and fuck me, but don't let me cum, and keep doing that until I forget my name, until I can't speak or scream any more, and until I forget all the worries of a world on the brink of disaster because it's only you and me and the vast, empty universe that we can paint with stars, like God when he created it (we can do it the other way around, too, if you want)

I'm so eepy because I had to get up early 2 days in a row, but things are cool right meow hehe :3c

Of course you'll be able to disable it. Until your computer updates the next time, then it'll turn on and you'll need to turn it off again. But then they'll grey out the option not to start it automatically with every reboot and you'll need to close it manually every time. Until they remove that option, too.

The two genders: cigarette and joint. Spliffs, blunts, and vapes don't exist, you're either a cigarette or a joint.

Yes, thank you for affirming my cis masculinity uwu

Wait till you find out how it's pronounced. It's /ˈbloːhaj/. Here's an audio recording (still not 100% correct because you'd need to pronounce "blow" with a Glasgow accent, but this video is way funnier than the serious ones). I still call mine /blɑ.'hɑːd͡ʒ/, or just /hɑːd͡ʒ/ :3

I thought there was going to be discourse here with all the comments, but it's just a spamming bot account.

Anyway, leave that kitty cat alone, he can have legs that are as long as he wants them to be :3

Wait, Benjamin has a beard now?? What happened to my twink boi 😱 😱

Call of Fruity sounds like a gay eldritch dating sim that I'd pour hundreds of hours into :3

Like this? :3

The phrase "Congratulations, Homosexual!" should be used way more often than it currently is.

Renamon is indeed a Digimon. Just don't ask for the sauce of the image in the OP. I don't know you, but there's a chance you might regret that :3

Nope, sorry :3

gives headpats instead

(but the meme is a mood)

Oh, Dragon's Milk is beer. How disappointing.

A 4-day workweek would be lovely if monthly salaries stayed the same (= hourly wages went up). Then I could work three days a week and get 75% of a full-time salary instead of just 60%, which would be kind of like a 25% raise. That'd leave me with so much more time to be silly :3

The third one is wrong, the odds are never in your favour because they're always 50/50 (you either win or you lose)

"Hello, is anybody on this frequency?"

"Hewwo how may I hewp u? :3"

"We need help"

"ÓwÒ?"

"We had a car accident, everybody is injured. I'm losing so much blood."

"Oh noes, sounds wike someone did an oopsie woopsie :3c"

"John is dead! We need an ambulance!"

"oki doki hehe uwu calls an ambulance"

"Did you just say uwu? Oh God, is this really the last thing I'll ever hear?"

"Soo... do you still need that ambuwulance? Hewwo? Huh, must've changed theiw mind uwu"

why the fuck did I write thisajslasldhsgagkd ÓwÒ

It means that you're very cool uwu

Obligatory

(I hope embedding this gif works)

hands over $350 bill am sowwy uwu

Nah, the boykisser is cute and adorable and I love him, but Reggie got me down bad. And have you seen the demon / Eldritch horror / whatever-it's-called-like-with-tentacles-and-four-eyes version of him? ❤️w❤️

Look a bit closer, it says "real mony" right there, so it's gotta be real :3

Why do you lose strip poker when you're naked, that's stupid, I want to undress. It's the same with drinking games. Why does the loser get to drink and not the winner when the point is to get drunk?

This Snopes article says it's real, citing this Telegraph article (archived version) that features another photo of the same troops. What's weird is that the articles tell slightly different stories. The Snopes article says the original photograph's caption describes it as a Christmas charity performance, while the Telegraph article says they were doing a drag show to entertain themselves. Still, the photos seem to be real.

edit: not even a minute late, but still late :c

The only reasonable approach to the internet

teehee :3c

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