Mojave

@Mojave@lemmy.world
0 Post – 71 Comments
Joined 1 years ago

I am a programmer, and I get paid whether or not the product is bought. Shovel your dogshit somewhere else.

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I give OP the bipolar pass

Man we had someone in the army do this. Army doctrine is either outdated or very accessible to the poor, I don't fuckin know, but you aren't required to have a phone.

So this one weird junior Joe just decided he didn't need a phone. Got rid of it, and as a result never got the information he needed on army shit. I loved him for it, and by the law he was in the right. Can't tell him to get a phone.

Unfortunately I was his team lead, and every time my chain of command decided to put out bullshit last minute information over text I had to tell them to suck it and pvt NoPhone wouldn't be at their surprise formation.

Sometimes for important stuff I would have to drive to the barracks and knock on homies door to let him know there's surprise inspections or piss tests and shit.

The workplace should operate entirely without external communication. It worked since the dawn of man, and it should continue to work until the end of man if we want any semblance of work-life balance.

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Mike would walk into random meetings that he didn't belong in, lay his head on the table, and knock out. Snored loud as fuck. He did this in my meetings alone at least three times a week.

He'd be found sleeping in the driver seat of his car about once a day too, clocking hours.

I saw the dude sneak up on a lot of people and assault them. Smack mens asses, rub women's shoulders, he put this catholic nerd in a chokehold and whispered "security can't help you here, n****" and then let him go.

He'd talk about how sick work from home was, how he'd just play NBA2K and Tekken all day, work on his car, sleep, and get paid.

Homie worked with us for like 3 or 4 months before he got fired. When he left, I got assigned his work. He had one ticket. It was three months old, and it was to update some software on our platform from vX to vX+1. It took me three minutes.

Dude was reading comic books at his desk the entire time he was there. He was really living the dream for a minute, I heard after he got fired that he moved from computers to car mechanic.

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To add on to this because the Wikipedia page doesn't actually explain it at all for some reason:

Nominet Ltd was in charge of all .uk top level domain registrations, and they simply decided that they wouldn't allow anybody to register with a raw .uk domain. As far as I can tell, they allowed .co.uk, .org.uk, .me.uk, and other such things according to what the websites claimed purposes were going to be. In 2014 they changed their minds and decided anyone can apply for the raw .uk top level domain, and now newer websites can just be called shitcum.uk

I can imagine a few reasons why huge websites like Google and Amazon don't switch their URLs to google.uk just from a business/corporate perspective. It's probably seen as a lot of money and man-hours to register the new domains, redirect their .co.uk to the new .uk domain (for how long do you even want to pay for both domains?), and the headaches of janky issues arising from the changed domain like possibly third-party APIs breaking or Boomers bookmarks no longer working.

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Guy was having fun being a menace, and making 6-figures.

He would also record/take pictures of girls he'd meet online, and show off their nudes to people at work. And complain about paying child support. Gross ass dude.

He was hired on the recommendation of an already existing (seemingly normal) employee. Once mike got fired, his recommender immediately ""quit"" before they could also get fired

Doing dumb shit training in the woods for the Army. My platoon finds an area, sets up perimeter, and I post up to my spot pulling security staring out into the woods. I start digging a fox hole to chill in. It's about 105⁰, 100% humidity and tornado season.

God Bless America.

I spend a bit over an hour digging my shallow-as-shit hole before noticing there is a lot of ticks in it. Like a lot more than I've ever seen. I'm so God damn tired I about knock out anyway, fuck the ticks.

Some dickhead tells me that ticks hate sulfur.

"If you rub a bunch of sulfur on your body they won't eat you." ??? Okay you backwoods Hick bastard, you better not be lying to me. I spend the last of my energy putting a tarp above my hole, covering the tick ground with a towel, eating some matches, praying the ticks fuck off from my sulfury sweat, and waiting for it to get dark.

It starts thunderstorming.

Maybe it's just because I grew up in the north, but there is something viscerally WRONG about it being a hundred degrees out and having this much rain coming down. Hot air and cold rain at the same time. I go to sleep in my foxhole, expecting to be woken up in a couple hours for fireguard and having contracted Lyme disease for Uncle Sam.

Just kidding. Big ole ugly Platoon Sarge sees my genius tarp protecting me from the rain and gets jealous of my galactic brain. Just cuts the corners off the tarp with his ten dollar PX Gerber knife and smokes me for showing the "enemy" where my foxhole is. Gonna love the fist fight I'll have with CIF later when they ask where my tarp is. I go to sleep.

That stupid red tinted Vietnam-era flashlight hits me in the eyes.

"Hey, wake up, you're on fire guard." Wake up, it's pitch black, and my hole is flooded with rain water. I've never felt colder and closer to death. Whole body was permanently tensed and shivering. I feel numb. Extra numb in my back though. I pull out my light and check. My back is COVERED in ticks. Dozens. Maybe even a hundreds.

They're having a king-sized FEAST from my left ass cheek to center-back.

I forget that I'm frozen solid, full fucking sprint to the least wet ground, stop drop and roll, sprint to the other guy on fireguard, and tell this man in the loudest whisper possible to just SMASH everything on my back. I guess that spot is about where your kidneys are, huh. My retarded 19 year old self didn't really know what a kidney punch felt like, but then the fireguard homie saw the ticks and bashed my shit in with the stock of his M4.

I couldn't even make a sound. The pain was crazy. It was probably about 2am in a forest, I am about one degree from my brain freezing solid, missing half of my blood and back flesh to this God damn tick egg colony, might have just lost one of my kidneys, and didn't even have live ammunition to blow my brains out and end it all. And this fucking guy I barely knew was just slapping away at my bare back with his hands like I was some whore he picked up at the bar.

Anyways, turns out whatever the hell super soldier serum they shoot in your ass when you join was good enough to keep me alive that night. Definitely didn't guard any fires like I was supposed to. I pissed blood for a bit and have a huge ugly scar on my back, but amazingly didn't get any diseases. Even got to keep the kidney, woo.

Eating the matchstick didn't help, -1/10 do not recommend. Kinda feel bad for giving the kid that bashed me some tick-PTSD too.

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Yo did someone hit you in the head with a golf club? Why are you talking like that?

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Data, network bandwidth, and CPU/Processing time from essentially every website in the world, and when you're paying for cloud power to run your website the cost of webscrapers running a train on your digital asshole adds up QUICK.

It's why normal human being people get sued to shit for webscraping data from certain companies who care. But companies don't get sued because go fuck yourself. Kill bytedance.

My company is small enough that it doesn't legally need HR.

Nobody to report him to except the company owners who didn't care for a while

"Hey, wash those veggies first"

No offense but how old are you

They obfuscate their traffic by randomizing user agents, so it's either add a global rate limit, or let them ass fuck you

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For every hour of work/coding I do, there is probably 4 to 5 hours of waiting for shit to automatically compile, fetch, build, release, apply, get reviewed, approved, and deployed. The downtime is immense, I spend it helping other people with shit or planning company potlucks (I don't work for Microsoft).

Why shouldn't he

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You don't need to use venv at all, break the mold and do it all global

Bro people know what hieroglyphs and wax Edison cylinders are. People know things, winamp is not some obscure hidden knowledge

If you don't do anything immoral, you shouldn't be arrested. Refusing to submit to cops is not enough reason alone for them to physically harass you.

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Why limit it to proprietary software? Almost every linux distro can run Github Copilot X and Jetbrains, which both have had more time to be publicly used and tested and work better in my opinion.

Send me a video link of Mac having direct access to containers without using a VM (which ruins the point of containers). THAT is directly related to my actual work, as opposed to needing a robot to code for me specifically using Apple's AI

Man I feel the opposite

It was so quick and simple to just do Murphs at home. I didn't need to worry about packing gym bags, spending money, showering in public, needing to drive 10-15 minutes out and back, leaving work early or waking up at 5am to dodge a gym full of people.

Zero equipment Calisthenics are fucking golden if you don't give a shit about getting big fat dudebro muscles, and just wanna be strong and hot.

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I've had DOGSHIT posture my whole life. Don't really care about it. Otherwise very fit, active, and healthy.

Now I have a bulging disk and a schmorl hernia in my spine. When that shit starts hurting, it's genuinely paralyzing. Worse than breaking a bone, and the spine does not heal from that naturally.

I don't think you have to build a lifestyle around stretching, yoga, proper posture, and mobility exercises, but dear god do some little things to keep your knees, spine, and neck in working order

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Yell the N word at a work meeting, see how comfortable your coworkers get

I had a similar situation last February, and succeeded.

I started by putting cat food out in a bowl every other night. I put it on the side of the street, at the edge of my property at first. Then every time I filled it, I moved the bowl closer to my front door.

Some raccoons, and even a groundhog would also come eat the cat food every now and then, watch out for other animals.

If I ever saw the cat eating, I would open my door and watch him without doing anything. After a few months, the cat was eating at my front door steps and was pretty friendly. My girlfriend let the cat inside one day, and we let him settle before finding who the real owner was.

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I can type out the entire 10 word long name of my sprint into the searchbar, and it Jira will pull up 22 pages of things that are not even CLOSE to what I searched. It's a nightmare to try and find my current sprint among the 65 other team's sprints every month.

I fit in with my satanic shit as a software engineer. Computer people don't care, they seem smart enough to know it doesn't affect the job.

Homie spreads apple propaganda like aids, he's an awful tech influencer

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Not your concern or my concern, no information is criminal.

How do you socialize your kid with people their age

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What pictures are illegal?

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Why is your company paying for personal gym memberships

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Majority of relationships past college start with coworkers

Except companies have sued people for web scraping.

https://www.informationweek.com/it-leadership/linkedin-sues-after-scraping-of-user-data

Even web scraping for research purposes, not for competitive purposes.

https://www.engadget.com/2016-05-17-publicly-released-okcupid-profiles-taken-down-dmca-claim.html

This happened two years ago, and was a Twitter meme. You may have saw it in 2022

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Bro it's steam's own link shortener, it's one Google away..

Not being dickheads when hiring people makes suing unnecessary

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Source on the NSA doing this?

To keep a clean work culture. To keep racists away from the work environment.

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People streamed the game on twitch for weeks prior to it being released

Hello there. Government agencies, including the CIA government employees and private contractors are not under UCMJ. In situations like this the scariest legal action for CIA employees and contractors to worry about is often the Hatch Act.