Every conversation my mother and grandmother had for the last 10 years of my grandmother’s life (just change the name):

Grandmother: “Do you remember Sue Smith?” Mom: “I don’t think so.” Grandmother: “ Yes you do, Sue Smith.” Mom: “Sue Smith? Where would I know her from?” Grandmother: “ She lived two houses down from us over on Suwannee Street.” Mom: “I don’t remember a Sue Smith from the neighborhood.” Grandmother: “She was Sue Jones before she got married.” Mom: “OH Sue Jones! Yeah I remember her!” Grandmother: “Well she died.”

Every. Single. Time.

And his tax returns.

And his healthcare plan. His big beautiful healthcare plan that is much better than Obamacare.

Do it! DO IT!! Shut up talking about it, and let’s get the civil war started!! Because I suspect it will be over before supper time.

In reality all they’re going to do is talk about it, because they’re small weak little people. Look at the big bad Proud Boys. When faced with the consequences of jail, they cried like little girls and begged the judges to take pity on them. Only one defiantly yelled “TRUMP WON” on his way out is the courtroom, but that was even after he cried and groveled.

I think the T2 was to insinuate that it was “Twitter 2”. I didn’t understand the rebrand, because, even though it’s been a few years, Pebble to me is still associated with the smart watch.

I actually signed up and used it a little, but I put up a funny post with a Corvette that had a wheel off sitting on wood blocks with the caption, “When Rednecks get Corvettes! 🤣” It was a stupid little joke, but my post was flagged as offensive and removed. At that point I made one more post explaining what had happened, and that I was going to be leaving the platform. I left the post up for a couple of weeks and then deleted my account. If that was considered offensive, my sarcastic self didn’t stand a chance on that platform.

I’m not surprised they didn’t get any traction.

The gas station down on the corner. When I first moved here, I went there all the time because it was convenient. Gas, bread, soda, you name it, I would swing through there and pick it up. I stopped every single work morning and got coffee on the way to work. I started bringing my own insulated cup, so they charged me less. Then it was bought by a new owner, and he wanted to charge me more. Okay, it was still cheaper than if I used their cup and more convenient than making it at home - they provide the coffee, sweetener, creamer, and there's no clean up on my part. One day I went in with a new cup that was the same capacity as the old cup. A different shape, but it held the same number of ounces. The owner said, "that cup's bigger, I charge you more." I tried to argue, but he didn't budge, and he charged me the same amount as a large coffee in their cup. Now, I'm not stupid, I've worked in retail before, I know the largest cost to a cup of coffee is the cup, but I paid it, walked out the door, and never set foot in there again. That's been eleven years ago, and I don't plan to go back. I hope the few cents he greedily wanted over coffee was worth all the other lost sales.

The sad part is that, I think this is fake, but I’m not 100% sure. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Thanks dad.

I will never - NEVER - forgive them for shutting down Google Reader. That’s the closest I’ve come to cutting everything Google out of my life, and I’m still salty about it today.

I would bet dollars to doughnuts that they have communication between Trump and the Proud Boys and/or other far right groups coordinating the attacks. Jack Smith has a 99% conviction rate, and he is not going to recommend indictment without some pretty iron-clad evidence. Just because the evidence hasn't been made public yet doesn't mean that the prosecution doesn't have it.

I didn’t read close enough and thought you said TikTok. I thought to myself, “TikTok has reminders?!?”

I walk into my house and start dictating to a speaker sphere what lights to turn on, what to set the thermostat to, and to turn on the tv. And she answers. Just like in sci fi movies.

Congrats on the wedding, and I wish you a beautiful future!

Looks like it’s time for me to sell my Roku stock that I bought during the pandemic when their price was constantly going up.

To be fair, it’s pretty telling that I have a TV with built in Roku, but I only use it to access my Apple TV which is faster and smoother.

….amen.

Yeah, and it could have something to do with the time that Trump tried to kill him by showing up to debate practice knowing that he was positive for Covid and infecting Christie, which put him in the hospital where he nearly died.

“Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”

“I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”

Unless she doesn’t like who you’re married to! (Taps forehead)

…on a public toilet seat. I ain’t touching most of them, much less sitting on them, so oh yeah, yeah, no.

This is going to be my go-to expression of gratitude from now on – “Thank you for this, Space Noodle.“

I got the new icon, and I thought it was going to be tied into some promotion or something. You know, "We're going 8 bit for a month!" But then nothing ever came - no promotion, no explanation.

Why does anyone care what Miley Cyrus has to say about the military?!? I mean, she sits on a wrecking ball naked!!

What?

Oh, nevermind.

— Roseanne Roseannadanna

I know you meant kiss the ring, but kiss the ting actually works better!

Read all about it in this month's issue of DUH.

Read all about it in this month’s issue of .

I also choose this guy’s……

Wait, I forgot where I was for a minute. Sorry.

I was like a little kid rushing to the theater to see The Phantom Menace. I was so soul-crushingly disappointed after that to this day I’ve never seen the other two prequels. I know they’re supposed to be better than PM, but I don’t care, I’m not watching them.

As I get older I realize why the Grinch wanted to live alone on a mountain with his dog.

Also, maybe the Grinch wouldn't be so sour if everyone in town wasn't constantly singing songs about what a piece of crap he was!

Loraine is Loraine Newman, one of the original Not Ready For Primetime Players from SNL. I’m not sure who the other guy on her left is.

But the beauty is, according to Georgia law, that can’t happen until 5 years after they’ve finished serving their sentence.

Now the legislature could change the law, but that’s it as it stands right now, and I’m not sure there’s currently enough support to change it. Currently.

While I’m not disagreeing with you, Trump tried to vilify Kemp and turn his mob on Rathesburger when they wouldn’t break the law for him. Also a lot of Republicans blame him for the loss of Purdue & Loeffler’s seats, because he wasn’t campaigning for them, he was doing the opposite. He was running around screaming about how the election was stolen and how your vote doesn’t matter, so enough Republicans didn’t vote that the seats were lost. While there’s no doubt that it’s Trump Country™ down here with the “common folks”, I’m not sure he has enough support among legislators and the upper class money to change the law just to give him a pardon.

🤣

Read all about it and more in this month’s issue of DUH.

“It’s a floor wax.”

“It’s a dessert topping.”

“It’s a floor wax.”

“It’s a dessert topping.”

I’m not one to believe a bunch of tinfoil hat conspiracies, but I absolutely believe in the theory that Musk and Spez are being paid by dark/right-wing big money to run Xwitter and Reddit into the ground. Both platforms had large amounts of liberal free speech, but many left after Musk’s purchase and Spez’s shenanigans. I do believe that it’s a clandestine effort to reduce the public speech of Democrats and left-leaning individuals off of two of the largest platforms. Both are hemorrhaging cash, but, if they’re being paid more under the table, it would make perfect sense.

Eat a tick? I’m actually not sure which is worse….

I love a good laugh-out-loud comedy, so I’m going to go kind of obscure with Amazon Women On The Moon. You’ve probably never heard of it, because it was a straight to DVD from ‘87 by Zucker/Abrams/Zucker, the same guys who made Airplane and the Naked Gun movies, and it’s also the spiritual successor to The Kentucky Fried Movie.

It’s difficult to describe it, other than to say that you’re loosely supposed to be watching a 1950s sci fi movie called Amazon Women On The Moon on late night TV. Interspersed among the bits of the movie are fake commercials and other skits that are absolutely hilarious! And the cast is unbelievable - Roseanna Arquette, Michelle Pfeffer, Arsenio Hall, Steve Gutenberg, Andrew Dice Clay, Joe Pantoliono, David Alan Grier, Ed Begley Jr., a long list of classic comedians in one skit, and, if you keep it rolling during the credits, even Carrie Fisher shows up.

Sadly JustWatch shows that it’s not available to stream anywhere (except the high seas I guess? 🤷🏻‍♂️), but Amazon has the DVD & Blu-Ray available, and, if you’re a fan of Airplane type humor, it’s worth the purchase!

EDIT: After a Google Search, I discovered that there’s a copy online at the Internet Archive! Go watch it before it’s gone!

https://archive.org/details/Amazon.Women.on.the.moon.Vz

It looks good, but the comment text is way too small for me to be able to comfortably read. I tried increasing it through accessibility on a per-app basis, but it increased the size of all the other text in the app and not the comment text.

Read all about it in this month's issue of DUH.