PhobosAnomaly

It looks like a pepperoni pizza that was stored on its end.

Unfortunately, this would be gender and/or location dependent. Great advice for daylight hours, but the society we currently live in makes it perhaps less viable for women in certain areas or countries, or even in general if it's a particularly socially deprived area.

Absolutely on board with the exercise thing though. I've taken to trying to waste time on an exercise bike - even an inexpensive one, or a normal bike mounted on a turbo trainer. I'm not expecting anyone to bang in speeds and times like Lance Armstrong on some special supplements, but a slow spin for longer periods of time is great fun... just get a good wide comfortable saddle!

Good effort, that's a decent shape to be in. 10k runs are my "thing" but as my march into middle age progresses, I find I can't do them back-to-back any more, I'm needing more than a day or two to recover.

Maybe go for something a little more varied - I'm training for (but never done) local triathlons. Great way to build physical fitness with only a third of the high impact on the joints. The major limiting factor will be the pool of course, unless you're fortunate to own (or have unrestricted access to) a pool.

Random turn of conversation direction, are you creative at all? Crocheting seems to make the world go by at an alarming rate - it's both a time killer and very rewarding.

Coffee shops are fantastic. My other half doesn't get why I go out to buy a coffee that I could easily make in the house for next to fuck all, but it was never about the coffee - it was about being out of the house and watching the world go by. There's a coffee shop in a hotel that overlooks the thoroughfare between one of my local city's biggest shopping centres and it's rail station, and it's nice just wasting an hour or two watching people go about their lives.

The cost of the coffee is just a warmth and comfort tax really for sitting there.

Is it me that finds it weird signing off her own tweets with her name, when her username is literally right there?

It's just a shame the (presumably US-based) healthcare system is a clusterfuck, because that bit of expensive paper with a diagnosis on it would likely open up a whole host of avenues for exploration of the condition.

Yes.

It's not that we're particularly fucked financially, we're doing enough to keep our heads well clear of the water, but we're not wealthy by any means and either parents have helped us by stumping up an initial outlay on something, and we've paid them back.

Shock horror: a fucking idiot who build his persona on a foundation of being loud, obnoxious, and a bit of a twat turns out to be loud, obnoxious, and a bit of a twat.

Oh, and a nonce too.

I hate that about disability assessments run by those Capita bastards. The whole "well you got here okay so you can't struggle with mobility".

No you fucking arsewomble, it's just threatening the means to purchase the basics and essentials is worth the physical agony it causes going to your human zoo and jumping through your arbitrary hoops, you daft walking talking fannyflap.

I hate making it personal but I can't see how anyone would voluntarily stick at a job like that.

Nightdive's track record is stellar in fairness.

I've still got my PS1 copy of PO'ed and it hasn't aged well at all. I think the world was still clamouring for new and inventive Doom-clones at the time that people were willing to forgive clunky gameplay and unbalanced weapons, but this remaster will do it a whole load of favours.

Disruptor is another mediocre game that springs to mind, but was well received because it was the best-of-the-rest in what we now know to be first person shooters. That would be a cool remaster too - perhaps even Lifeforce Tenka, or even Sentient if they were feeling brave.

Try electrical engineering! All you need is a socket and a fork!

Firstly, fuck the Express and fuck that site in particular, turned my phone's screen into Times Square.

While the article doesn't mention their 2016 voting, I'd love to see a Venn diagram of those who had the means and bought property in the EU, and those who had voted to leave. I suspect they'd not be far off a circle.

I feel genuinely sorry for the outliers (edit: assumed outliers) who believed in the EU's ideals and wanted property for whatever reason - work, family, whatever - and are getting horsed by the Blue Passport Gang.

Anecdotally, a good friend of mine has British parents who moved to northern France, voted to leave, and are now shocked that new and harsher rules could possibly apply to them. The most frustrating part is that they're absolutely blind to the prospect that they might just have pissed on their own chips. It's genuinely saddening to see people put two and two together, and come up with "someone else's fault".

Fuck knows, fuck you, and merry fucking Christmas.

In seriousness though: no idea. It's nice though, not every sentence needs an f-bomb or a c-nuke. They're just helpful and/or satisfying sometimes.

"to compile the kernel you must kill me, Linus Romero"

Right click?? Why did we ever need a second or third or seventeenth button anyway?

They have played us for absolute fools

Intelligence is domain specific.

I need this on a plaque above my desk phone. It's perfect.

I worked for a major UK supermarket chain a few years ago - at a store big enough to have its own car park, but small enough that it had a small "garden centre" which was about 10m X 25m tacked on to the side of the store.

I was on the way back in after helping some elderly couple load their car up, when some dude says "can you give me a hand with these bags of soil?", and I'm like "yeah no worries" and yeeted about nine or ten bags of soil into the back of his car.

I wander back in and the checkout supervisor was like "did he pay for those bags?" and I'm like "I've no idea mate" - turns out no, no he hadn't.

It was a separate question to "did I care?" where the answer would have equally been something they didn't want to hear.

Brilliant idea.

Not sure how financially viable it is (would love to see the sums though) but fingers crossed, if it works in cities, it can be expanded to the country too.

I can only speak from a UK perspective but I can only hope the fuckwits don't use it to abuse it. It's a genuinely progressive move and probably the best way of bridging the gap between combustion vehicles and EV's, or even bypassing them entirely.

“Everything he is saying isn’t true,”

It's all that government big pharma stuff that have given me moobs, things like:

• Covid-19 vaccines;
• Fluoride in toothpaste and tapwater;
• Chemtrails;
• a horrendous diet and little exercise;
• pride flags

It's doable. It's just a different game. You get to know usernames who take or join gyms, you can recognise people on the rare occasion you party up for a raid.

A friend of mine GPS spoofs the game and it's a completely different game though. I'm having to use external tools to remote raid for cool mons as an organised party, but they just tip up to any major city centre raid location and do whatever they need to do whenever they want. That said, gyms turn over within minutes, so getting free coins is a pain in the ass whereas a lot of rural folk repsect the 8hr rule to maximise coins.

If I'm honest, I'm just a guy who let his youngster sign up for an account, so that my boy could play the game while I banged in the buddy miles daily when out running, but I've quite enjoyed it too being out in the sticks.

The hack is coming from inside the instance!

His voice isn't much different!

I watch his videos because it's nice to have an insider view of what was the formative years of Microsoft's assimilation creation of a common office workspace. The anecdotes are deliciously 90's, the openness is refreshing, and the implementation detail is quite interesting.

My other half likes the videos because he has that quite monotone voice, with quite an even canter and the odd lingering pause that can send her to sleep.

Win win.

Another story from the workplace probably worthy of a "who, me?" segment on el reg:

An old admin grade at one of my last workplaces was... unique, in her approach to her workload. In the times that we haven't had an admin assistant in post, the workload gets shared out amongst the team so the job still gets done, but it's primarily menial and trivial stuff. It's not difficult, but the way the civil service works, sometimes a ten second job takes ten minutes. It wasn't that she was particularly awful - just a bit useless and had all the critical thinking skills of a common housebrick. Anything that needed a decision made became someone else's job.

Someone went in to to see her wanting another AA battery, to replace one in the clock to stop people from losing their minds having done a few hours in the office, but still only seeing half past nine on the clock. There's none left in the store cupboard, so she logs on to the ordering system, and realises that they come in nondescript "units", rather than the SKU style setup you see on most retailer sites. So, she goes for 10 - thinking ten packs would be enough for a while.

A week later, a lorry pulls up at the office, with a pallet for delivery. Nobody's expecting this, and we can't lift it off the lorry for it being too heavy, and we had to get a neighbouring unit's forklift driver to pop it off the lorry for us and leave it at our side door, probably for a pack of fags and a coffee. We opens it up, and hurrah, our batteries are here!

All ten thousand of them.

Turns out, a "unit" in this branch of the civil service is "per thousand", so we literally had nearly a tonne of batteries on a pallet outside. We tried phoning the distribution centre, and they're clearly not giving a fuck about something as low value as this, and certainly aren't sending a truck to get them - this was now an "us" problem.

One of the lads pulls out a stick of batteries, goes back into the office, comes back ashen faced...

"Boys, the clock needs AAA batteries"

We had a slowly dwindling mountain of AA batteries for about three months, literally people taking strips of batteries home at Christmas to put in toys, people bringing in old Game Boys or Game Gears just to try them out with a supply of new batteries, and a Sky Digital remote control with a now perpetually infinite lifespan.

God bless the civil service.

It's the two certainties of life:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. It is the year of the Linux desktop
4. Half Life 3 is just around the corner
5. I'm terrible at maths

A number of years ago, my other half was popping over for a rare visit, so she got a flight to Cardiff Airport. I headed over to meet her.

It was a rubbish day - cold, wet, and foggy as fuck. Predictably, the flights started getting diverted here there and everywhere.

I stayed in the terminal for an hour or so until the airline had decided what to do, and once they'd firmed up their travel plans and shuttle back to Cardiff, it turned out I had two or three hours to kill I thought "sod it, I'm off to knock some balls about at a driving range or something".

As I headed down the steps into the entrance concourse, I saw the whole area was lined with press and photographers, and as I walked through, the entirety of the Wales national rugby team started coming through the doors. It was surreal - a wall of similarly dressed dudes who you usually only see on TV, and I'm stuck square in the middle walking against the tide with a courtesy "alright boys" to get me through.

For an instant, I was probably the most photographed random dude in the country, and probably ruined dozens of photos. It was cool as fuck though.

...surely it means that someone's individual vote did matter?

I am both laughing my cock off and wanting to smash the downvote button in sheer rage because I can just see this being an actual conversation.

I can't remember the last time a review embargo was placed on a game, or when major outlets didn't get review code - and the game turned out to be okay.

It's a tale as old as time, and particularly egregious this time round with the late-notice addition of Denuvo.

I mean, die hard fans won't mind either way and good on them, I hope they enjoy it - but for others who pre-ordered the game, I suppose you're only getting what you deserve.

I don't suppose it's to Swaylor Tift Aviation is it?

That would make it absolutely impossible to track and link to her.

Looks like a Samsung battery, about to give off some disco gas.

I used Duo pretty solid for two or three years - ended up subscribing to it.

The benefits were negligible - the biggest thing for me was offline play. I used to do a lot of air travel, so the ability to cover a subject or two was super helpful.

The streak freeze was the only other real "bonus" for those who game a shit about it. I started to get quite protective of it when it reached four figures, but I kicked it into touch when I wasn't learning much more than vocabulary. Duo is fantastic for getting a foothold on a language, but it only gets you through the first two or three exchanges of a conversation.

I enjoyed my time with the owl though.

I suppose the last one is halfway true. In the UK before internet access was mainstream, you either had to use the school/work network connection and their weird access control packages, or use the local library. In any case, you actually had to get dressed to use the internet.

This was when ISDN was a fat pipe, and if you went to the library, had to plan what you was going to look up because you paid for 30mins of access time. After you'd searched for PS1 cheat codes, Ask(ed) Jeeves for a fact to settle an argument, and looked up pictures of the 555-branded Subaru Impreza, it was time to burn off whatever acces time was left on Lycos, Excite, or Google's directory service to find new cool stuff.

Old school.

I suppose you could always ignore after-hours calls from work - boss or otherwise - but the fallout would unfortunately have been pretty predictable.

Good news all round. Fuck doing work outside the paid window. Unless it's a dire personal emergency for one of my staff, then fine - but damn right I'm taking a half hour flyer one day in the week.

Fair play to you, that alt text is one of the most comprehensive I've ever seen.

Accessibility 2thaMAX

It's a tale of two halves, literally.

(edit: crash course for the uninitiated: Fortnite was a great game, until it launched it's Battle Royale mode - Fortnite then effectively became this game mode, whereas the base game was left to die as Save The World.)

It's a mode that people paid money for, and Epic treat it as a second rate game even though without it, there wouldn't even be this behemoth that Fortnite has become.

Epic have come a long way from Epic MegaGames, and it isn't always a fairytale story I suppose.

I agree with the "who?", but then I'm not big in to TV and film.

The "who cares?" though is particularly problematic - it shows a rise in the normalisation of open threats of violence. Today, it's a political figure who by the definition of the US's party system is going to be a polarising figure - but tomorrow it can be any person that isn't flavour of the week, justified or not.

It's a bad downward trend.

maybes naw but ye ken fit like. pure spot on min

A shitpost duel awaits.

The winner gets seven statues on all continents, each facing a finely-calibrated direction - the intersection of their gazes meet at a point where the secret to humanity is buried.

The loser gets a year using the upside-downternet, six months on ISDN, or a week on MySpace as the only communication method with the outside world.

A lad I know was off on the sick with an injury for a while on full pay, played the game, turned up to his welfare interviews with his employer, complained that his injury was getting slowly better but still keeping him at home... and only got busted because he appeared in a photo in the paper having come second in a local half marathon.

Another boy I know who was on light work duties in the office because of a supposed back issue, got pulled in for a "meeting without biscuits" because he was spotted refereeing an ice hockey game one weekend by someone from the office.

Outstanding levels of fuckery.