I will have to add exercising, sunlight receiving, and friendship on the list of things I need to do then. At least as long as I'm stuck at the beginning to do things part. Thank you very much for actionable advice! Even if actions are hard for me to do in the first place, a rough outline of what my goals should be to improve my life is a very desirable outcome.
Oh the concept of having control over anything is equally as existentially terrifying as it is liberating so I'm not sure how helpful that is in making me experiment and create things I'm proud to have made exist.
I don't mind drudgery though. I've done real life construction work, I love legos, before I had internet I dug a hole in the backyard just to see how deep a hole I could dig. Progress being made is the goal sure but that doesn't make me shy away from the boring and frustrating parts. It's just that when it comes to decorating my apartment, cleaning my room, doing dishes, mowing lawns, whatever, I just can't find myself getting started in the first place rather than giving up partway through.
Welcome to welcoming me to Lemmy! Oh I don't make schedules or chart plans, not because I don't enjoy it but because I feel like I've failed if I don't stick to the plans to the letter. Instead I decide what I'm going to do and only start the preplaning and planing when I'm at the activity. It works out great for simulators because I work on sections and with the way upgrade trees work better equipment gets unlocked and sometimes that equipment interferes with the already established plan and I have to redo work, so it saves me on work doing to only plan in small portions and is therefore more efficient. Still when it comes to doing a thing it's largely unhelpful because I tend to spend too long not starting and then I get distracted and because I wasn't writing things down I'm working on incomplete information once I refocus.
Understandable, consequences of my actions are pretty demotivating. It does seem easier to blow money on a lamp in a game then decide it doesn't fit what I was going for anyways than it is to buy anything that doesn't directly aid my survival. Fear and financial instabilities are probably some big motivators to inactivity, at least for me.
I don't think so? Even when I'm not thinking about the temporary nature of things I struggle with doing stuff. I want to learn guitar and experiment with painting and sewing, apply to jobs, and all sorts of beans that aren't temporary in terms of my lifespan. Starting just about anything I want to do is just plain difficult for me.
When I want to do dishes I usually start sitting at my desk or laying down on the couch or bed. Then I think about how if I want to eat later I'm going to have to do dishes because I'm out of clean plates/silverware/bowls/pots. Then I think about how I mind as well round up all the dishes in the apartment. Then I want to clean up the apartment. Then I usually start wanting to clean my room because it's gross. And then I think that I'm gross and should shower and brush my teeth. Then I get depressive and stay where I was feeling bad.
Sometimes I manage to power through and because the dishes are backed up so much I get the hot water going and let the dishes soak for a few minutes, then I have to overcome depressive thoughts again and do the dishes otherwise I sleep on the couch and the entire day has failed.
When I do manage to do dishes anyways I can only do so much until the drying rack is full, and when it's full I just drain the water and grab whatever I cleaned to make spaghetti or something.