For every 10 full size snickers you collect, I give you one loose m&m.

I also put a couple of your siblings up for adoption right before Halloween to let you know you're expendable.

If it bothers you, you can always go talk to your mom, who empathises, so that you feel good enough to get back to collecting my our candy. But she will immediately come tell me everything you said.

You ungrateful worm... After all I've done for you?

And the candy is all homemade from raw ingredients made in unregulated factories...

"Your sister" spent $120k on that... she spends that kind of money on cars ans has "never had a car she likes"? What a weird and very likely BS statement.

That car is measurably more dangerous for the other cars and pedestrians around it on the road. If she is real, she sucks for buying and driving that thing (and for supporting elon and all his horseshit with the purchase)

Spell check, thanks

Stop pointing cameras at these fucking bridge trolls

Child: "But daddy, this pillowcase smells like chemicals and has holes in it?"

Dad: "Halloween is cancelled, you're a freedom hating lib-cuck that hates freedom."

"Nobody wants to work on collecting candy anymore!"

And on the brain... Worms!

"Jerry Seinfeld and Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss claimed they were "just friends" in the beginning of their relationship and only went public when she turned 18..."

"...Shoshanna is a person, not an age. She is extremely bright. She's funny, sharp, very alert. We just get along. You can hear the click."

And don't forget:

Just let him go in peace. Stop following him around with a camera.

I wonder if the porn monitoring app he shares with his son gave a little beep today?

Kudos to the paper for adding "trump appointed" in the headline - it's relevant and too often the context is left out.

This is a stupid light take, starting with the flowery version of their early 2010-ish "good intentions".

Their "guarantee" insurance was notoriously difficult to actually access if needed. This was typical enshitification from the start, they just had to do a bit more early to gain public trust, until they reached critical mass and then flipped the switch.

The drug dealer gives you the first baggie for free, not because they are good dudes that care about you saving money...

Overdramatic headlines to try to make this more exotic and mysterious than the reality - YOU GREEDY FUCKS HAVE INTENTIONALLY TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF EVERYONE SINCE THE PANDEMIC STARTED. It was never acceptable and you finally pushed fast enough to even upset the wealthy and those who spend outside their means.

You are all broken humans. You chase endless growth without purpose, you are a disease.

Those weren't fake, those were real (there are actual VERIFIED people on Twitter that can back me up on this) Unfortunately, you can't ask elon himself, because he was working with that team on their crypto right before he died.

If you didn't hear about his death, it wasn't widely reported really because he was so insignificant that nobody really cared. But I guess they found that he broke his neck trying to suck his own dick on a ferris wheel. He was wearing small shorts, exerted himself trying to fold in half to reach, shit his pants, the shit hit the floor of the bucket, he slipped in the shit, hit the cage awkwardly and broke his neck.

And the dude openly dated a minor when he was nearly 40, "Shoshanna is a person, not an age. She is extremely bright. She’s funny, sharp, very alert. We just get along. You can hear the click.”

Not an urban legend, just not in your first hand POV - Many examples around crack in the 80s, Molly at raves, a bump of coke at a party... All followed by, "and hey man, if you ever want more, hit me up"

When you're making definitive statements try to add "doesn't happen TO ME...." or "IMO/IME", otherwise you just sound like you base the truth of the entire world solely on your own hyper limited, lived experience.

"Let's throw away all of our physical media! All digital streaming music, movies and books will be so much better! Everything we want, always available, anywhere!!!"

Somewhat true if you're a seasoned sailor of the high seas, not so much if not...

They aren't sweeping Chinese cars under the road here as much as they are sweeping an actually affordable, practical EV option that could easily win the mass market and shift the status quo away from ICE engine vehicles at scale.

Bigger problem is, that while blocking the Chinese options, they won't give us a similar option at that same affordable cost.

Pay attention to this, America. This is a desperate politician facing embarrassment, criminal prosecution, prolonged jail and international ridicule for the rest of his life if this "war" doesn't perpetrate indefinitely. This is how trump will hold the US hostage if your boomer aunts and uncles in the swing state suburbs elect him again.

This was not a homeless woman, this woman had a home.

Not the first, first they told people about.

Definitely a closet full of dead bodies over there.

This..... [LOOKS DIRECTLY INTO CAMERA AND HOLDS FOR LONG PAUSE] is in-acceptable Mr. [BREATHFULLY] Presterdant [EYES WIDEN]!

[SMILES MENACINGLY, ALSO LOOKING LIKE SHE'S ABOUT TO CRY AND LAUGH AT THE SAME TIME]

This is plenty valid to be upset at - especially when contrasted with all of the current stories about platforms removing access to "owned" digital media.

They want to crush, destroy, eliminate all of your physical media and creative outlets, shift you to fully digital, and then hold the kill switch hostage behind an always shifting subscription.

...82% of the visual field... ...before inducing seizures.

Hello, Dell Technologies takes the privacy and confidentiality of your information seriously. We are currently investigating an incident involving a Dell portal, which contains a database with limited types of customer information related to purchases from Dell. We believe there is not a significant risk to our customers given the type of information involved. Sending you this single message satisfies our legal disclosure requirement. Beyond that, we have no actual intention of fixing this, providing you with a meaningful compensation for the breech or really doing anything different at all truthfully. Fuck you.

Mexico

"trump in court today wearing pajamas, a sleep cap, a c-pap mask while reclined in a bed under covers, drooling on his pillow and snoring violently, wearing a Fitbit that confirmed through biosensors that he was sleeping and with a nightstand next to him that held a small note that read, 'shush, I'm 100% sleeping"... was ALLEGEDLY sleeping today."

When you're life/freedom is in the balance in a CRIMINAL trial, a healthy person would stay awake. Sundowners gonna sundown.

"The nastiness and lies, it's just incredible,** and the truths... The truths are even worse as they just won't shut up about them - it's like ummm guys, hello, I didn't discourse that stuff on forms for a reason. You're being like super uncool right now?!"**

But that's how fucked up trump is though... He actually DOES snore with a cpap.

Everyone, stop staying "duh" to research outcomes. Research takes time to design, fund, run and analyze and it's purpose is to scientifically prove something we all "felt" a while ago.

Our feelings don't mean too much because they are often wrong, data backed fact means something. Start being happy about these validation posts and hold off on the pickachu face memes.

Some of the worst people I've worked with are "burners".

There's apparently a private jet at burning man this year that was taking off and landing constantly so that people could fuck on the jet - it's fall of Rome style excess in a broken world where most people's basic needs are not met on an enormous scale.

Your statement is fairly tone deaf to the basic objective reality of the "party", OP. The frustrated people at the bottom are feeling a bit of catharsis in the money burning factory closing for a day while they starve and watch.

Convert it to affordable housing. You made a bad investment corporate America, kindly eat shit. If you need us, will be working, from home.

"...according to figures provided first to POLITICO by his campaign."

The same group that said 6'3" 215, right?

STOP taking headlines on face value and check/challenge actual sources of information (I.e. trump campaign)

Modern customer service is about willfully designed layers of broken system engineered specifically to frustrate the majority of people that can't regulate their emotions. It's always a series of about "12 doors" you have to cross through that are exceedingly difficult to pass through. They are designed to sap your energy with the hope that you eventually reach a boiling point, hang up, get distracted, go on with your day and never follow up out of fear of starting the same process again.

We're going to have to start walking around the plane with the pilot before takeoff like a rental car dent check.

There's only one thing the gop loves more than LOUD projection and that's abusing kids. The party of the grand ol' pedophiles

• (TRUMP) Republican Tim Nolan, chairman of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign in Kentucky & Former Campbell County Judge, Served as a judge, school board member and city solicitor, forced 19 victims to perform sex acts, including seven who were minors under 16. Pled guilty on February 11, 2018 and was sentenced to serve 20 years in prison. https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2018/05/03/former-judge-tim-nolan-could-sentenced-today-more-drama-could-get-way/577947002/

• (TRUMP) Republican George Nader, Trump Foreign Policy Adviser, sentenced to 10 years in prison for possession of child pornography and transporting a minor into the United States for sex. https://www.courthousenews.com/child-sex-trafficker-from-trump-tower-meeting-gets-10-year-sentence/

• (TRUMP) Republican Ralph Shortey, a former Oklahoma state senator & Trump’s Oklahoma campaign chair, was indicted on four counts of human trafficking and child pornography. Pled guilty to a federal charge of child sex trafficking after hiring a 17-year-old boy for sex. Sentenced to 15 years in prison, in addition to ten years of supervised release and ordered to pay $125,000 in restitution. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/trump-s-oklahoma-campaign-chair-plead-guilt-child-sex-trafficking-n822461

• Republican Dennis Hastert, Speaker of the US House of Representatives, Illinois Congressman and one of the highest-ranking U.S. politicians to ever go to prison, molested at least four boys as young as 14 years of age when he coached wrestling at an Illinois High School. He was sentenced to 15 months in prison, two years' supervised release, and a $250,000 fine. A civil case was due back in court for a status hearing on Jan. 8, 2021 at the courthouse to further address the jury trial. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/ex-u-s-house-speaker-dennis-hastert-starts-prison-term

• Republican Minnesota State Representative Jim Knoblach Drops Out Of Race After Daughter Says He Molested Her For More Than Ten Years 22 Sep 2018 https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2018/09/22/lawmaker-quits-race-after-daughter-says-he-molested-her-more-than-decade/?utm_term=.8ac8527c7f43

• Republican Jayson Boebert, husband of Q-ANON Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert of Colorado, was arrested in Jan. 2004 after allegedly exposing his penis to two women at a bowling alley, according to an arrest affidavit. Lauren Boebert (then a minor at 17 and known as Lauren Opal Roberts) was also there. He pleaded guilty to public indecency and lewd exposure involving minors. https://nypost.com/2021/01/16/gop-rep-lauren-boebert-and-husband-have-racked-up-arrests/

• Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Bauman

• Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped. https://web.archive.org/web/20171129052114/http://www.njherald.com/article/20060510/ARTICLE/305109971

• **Republican Joseph Dendy, Cobb County GA Republican Party Chairman & Sunday School Teacher,**was sentenced to life in prison after being convicted on four counts of child molestation, four counts of first-degree cruelty to children, three counts of enticing a child for indecent purposes, and one count each of aggravated sexual battery and aggravated child molestation. https://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/former-gop-chairman-arrested-on-child-molestation-charges

• Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida. https://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/sops/flyer.jsf?personId=28587

• Republican director of the “Young Republican Federation” Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison. https://bakersfieldnow.com/news/local/registered-sex-offender-keeps-custody-of-daughter

• Republican Kentucky state Representative & pastor Dan Johnson, committed suicide after an exposé revealed his serial lies, suspected arson, criminal church, racism, accused rape of a teen and more. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Johnson_%28Kentucky_politician%29

• Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison. http://www.lanternproject.org.uk/library/child-abuse-arrests-and-court-cases/child-abuse-arrests-trials-and-proceedings/ex-county-commissioner-admits-sexual-abuse-of-girl/

• Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation. http://www.poconorecord.com/article/20120426/NEWS90/204260334

• Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edison_Misla_Aldarondo

• Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8 and 10-year old girls. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Giordano

• Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter. https://www.nytimes.com/1995/08/02/opinion/journal-beverly-russell-s-prayers.html

• Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. “Republican Marty”), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl https://www.arktimes.com/TheHoglawyer/archives/2007/08/28/the-latest-republican-sex-scandals-plural---more-of-the-same

• Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media. https://www.nytimes.com/1996/06/06/us/politics-the-senate-maine-candidate-again-faces-1990-child-sex-accusation.html

• Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded "a return to traditional values", was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him. http://www.thedp.com/article/2004/01/brother_stephen_convicted_of_soliciting_sex

• Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison. https://culteducation.com/group/1255-false-memories/6514-man-in-notorious-sex-case-finishes-term.html

• Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl. https://www.semissourian.com/story/57773.html

• Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy. https://www.arktimes.com/TheHoglawyer/archives/2007/08/28/the-latest-republican-sex-scandals-plural---more-of-the-same

• Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children). http://www.chattanoogan.com/2002/6/21/23202/Tennessee-Legislator-Commits-Suicide.aspx

• Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child. http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2007/Oct/08/ln/hawaii710080338.html

• Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters. https://lasvegassun.com/news/2002/oct/14/assembly-candidate-gardner-ruled-ineligible-due-to/

• Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison. https://www.wgal.com/article/council-accepts-resignation-of-member-imprisoned-for-rape/6189408

• Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in prison http://www.salem-news.com/articles/october172007/repubscandals101707.php

• Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet. https://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php/Robin_Vanderwall

• Republican city councilman Mark Harris, described as a “good military man / church goer,” was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

• Republican Brandon Hixon, Idaho State Representative, resigned while under criminal investigation for molesting two girls, including a young female relative for more than 10 years, then killed himself three months later, shortly before his ex-wife and two others were to testify before a grand jury. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/brandon-hixon-former-idaho-lawmaker-facing-sex-abuse-inquiry-kills-himself/

• Republican Tony Yocham, Hamilton, TX Chief of Police, was arrested by Texas Rangers on charges of continuous sexual abuse of a child. https://www.kxxv.com/news/local-news/hamilton-county-chief-of-police-arrested-for-continuous-abuse-of-a-child

• Republican Nathan Larson of the Virginia House of Delegates is a self-confessed pedophile and white supremacist. Was arrested on felony charges for kidnapping, child abduction, soliciting child pornography from a minor and meeting a child for the intention of sex. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/alleged-pedophile-white-supremacist-arrested-kidnapping-12-yr-old-girl-n1251832

• NOTE: I'm reaching the character limit on Reddit posts, so here's a website with a list of about 1000 of these republican shit stains on humanity.