SpectralPineapple

@SpectralPineapple@beehaw.org
2 Post – 23 Comments
Joined 5 months ago

Copy pasting entire articles is discouraged. It is preferable to share a link to an archive website such as this: https://archive.is/5UPAI

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Although I still have Feedly on my phone, and open it occasionally, RSS readers are not as useful as they used to be. That is not due to the way RSS inherently works, but in the past 15 years, websites no longer make their entire articles available on the feed. What you usually get is a small excerpt with a link to the website. They do that because RSS does not allow for the same level of engagement and advertising they would have on their website. As it is, RSS readers are, technically, link aggregators. Which makes them much less convenient.

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I use Linux currently and have for many years. It is a wonderful operating system. However, if you wish to switch to Linux, it is in your best interest to understand that enthusiasts will oversell whatever they love, and they will do so without even noticing it.

Gaming on Linux is impressive and it's getting better every day, but it is still not the same as Windows.

Depending on the games you wish to play, you may feel frustrated at times. Also, barely any peripherals have official Linux support on a software level. I'm talking about fancy keyboards, mice, gamepads, cameras, microphones, headphones, and all kinds of RGB contraptions.

If something doesn't work, the next recommended steps can range from installing a complicated third-party interface to essentially programming your own. If I read the word "kernel" as part of a solution, chances are that I'm just buying something else instead.

People also forget that even supported games sometimes malfunction, and all tips and fixes will assume you're running Windows. Besides, not every game is on Steam, and even when they are, some may require the use of external software to install and manage mods. So using Linux for games is awesome, but significantly less so if you are not an advanced user and want more than the defaults for your games.

When it comes to work, you might find yourself restricted to LibreOffice or Microsoft Office Online. It is possible to run Office via Wine, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea (more on that here). A bit off-topic, but I've been trying to purchase a legit license for local Microsoft Office and I don't think they even sell it anymore. They're completely focused on the cloud version.

In my experience pure reasoning doesn't really work in that situation. People seek conspiracy theories to acquire a sense of order, predictability, and self worth. You're special because you're part of the special group that knows the true shape of the world. Ultimately, they seek love and validation, and the most effective intervention must start simply by providing them with those things they lack.

I followed closely a friend with schizophrenia and that helps me understand certain behaviors. Confronting them directly is usually pointless. I only wanted to be a good friend and show my care and affection for him. I did suggest him ways to improve but I backed away at any sign of resistance. You don't wanna counter him at every step, but only when they show an openness to listen. I mean, if you wanted to tear down a wall, you wouldn't start by hitting where it's stronger, right? You would probably look for the weak spots. If and when your friend let their guard down, then you can gently intervene. Other than that, just show them love, and have the patience to understand that they'll only change in their own time. If ever.

Guys, thank you so much for all the great ideas. Given that everyone made a big effort to help me, I'm a bit embarrassed to report that it looks like it went away? I tried rebooting before and that didn't help. I rebooted a second time for an unrelated reason and that "fixed" it. I have no idea why. I feel like an idiot now. I will report if it comes back, but, for now, I think that was solved.

Thanks!

One one hand, sure, this seems like a waste of time. On the other, I did get paid to get a masters in literature. So I don't think I'm in a position to judge :P

Since the days of IRC a lot of my dates and relationships either started on or crossed the digital realm. As young men, it was difficult to distinguish between sexual attraction and emotional connection. I ended up in a lot of weird relationships because of sex. I never counted the number of dates I had with someone before progressing things, I don't do that kind of thing The women I was with didn't count either. I guess we just go by what feels right. Maybe it takes a single day, maybe it takes a month. Whatever works.

How long does it take for you to know if you’re attracted to someone (sexually, romantically, emotionally, shared interests, etc)?

Sexually attractive? Less than 5 seconds. Emotionally invested? Impossible to know, it varies tremendously.

What do you like to do when you date and does it change depending on how many dates you’ve been on or how well you know the person?

The first thing to do would be having sex plenty of times. And that's not just me pushing or anything, women love sex too (of course). A lot of times I would like to take things slow in that area, but it is difficult to resist. Other than that, I love cooking for them and watching TV shows. I guess I'm basic.

Once you start dating someone, how long does it take you to understand whether you want to date the person long-term or whether it’s not going to work out?

I never know if and how things will work out... how can anyone know? Sometimes I have emotional reasons to stick around, I'm charmed, infatuated, or in love... but I don't have a crystal ball!

Do you only date people you meet in real life or do you use dating apps? How do you approach going from stranger to dating them?

I have dated people I met on IRC, Tinder, and a whole slew of old-school or defunct platforms. Probably more people from the real world overall, but not by a huge margin.

I'm pretty good at approaching women, but I do it very rarely. Usually when I already know something about the person and know that it will probably pay off. So it is incredibly rare, but, because I am careful and have ways to check beforehand, my success rate is relatively high.

The way I approach this is through "sensible honesty", so women always know my intentions but I don't throw it at them at inappropriate times and circumstances. And I'm not pushy, I'll back away at any sign of resistance or rejection. And I give them lots of chances to reject me. So I'm super obvious and clear, but never forceful or inconvenient.

What’s most important in deciding whether you want to date someone? Do they need to have an interest in activities you enjoy, shared values, emotional intelligence, a certain kind of humor, or something else?

Physical attributes are where it begins, but I must note that what I consider attractive is not necessarily very mainstream. Starting because, since an early age, I appreciate plus-size women very much. Also, cuteness is way more important to me than conventional "hotness" -- because to me being cute is the same as being hot. When we started dating, my partner used to send me a bunch of nude pictures in stereotypical "I'm so hot" poses, a lot of cleavage, etc. That didn't do it for me. The day she sent a picture in a cute pajama... it drove me insane!

Is there something you don’t understand about dating and want to share your frustration?

Not really. Compared to other human activities, dating is fairly simple. There are clear rules and patterns you follow. It's kinda like a script with some improvisation in between. Most of my socialization troubles happen in highly informal, spontaneous, "unscripted" situations. Dating is not like that. It's a narrative -- it can get complicated, but it still has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

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Decades ago I couldn't stop thinking about suicide. It was persistent throughout many months. Then my doctor gave me lithium. I took it in the morning. By late afternoon I no longer wanted to die.

It's not perfect. I had many crisis since then. I have a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist. Nothing I did or took since then was nearly as efficient as an old cheap medicine called lithium. I still take it everyday.

So I guess my answer is "I don't really deal with those thoughts". I don't engage. I treat them. What's the point of arguing with a disease? If I had cancer, would I get chemo or just think about it very hard?

Sorry, I forgot top add a negative. It should read as "I ran a Windows Defender scan and nothing showed up.".

I wrote this autobiographical essay about some of my difficulties with sensitive online discussions.

You only say that because you never dated me! lol

Just kidding.

But yeah, there are lots of unspoken rules for sure, but to be honest, when a potential partner fixates too much on that kinda thing I lose interest anyway. I don't wanna be with someone just because I tick their mental boxes as if I there was an invisible DnD character sheet for me in their head.

When I notice someone "plays games", I usually decide they're not for me. I call them whenever I feel like it, I send messages whenever I feel like it. I'm not looking at the calendar just to know when to call without looking "needy", because someone who would judge me for being "needy" is not someone I wanna be with. If I like someone, they'll know it.

I've been with women who clearly counted the days and followed rules for this and other stuff. It's exhausting.

When you asked about "dating" I thought you only meant first dates and such, long-term relationships are a different ball game. But I would say that in the stage I am in life, once a relationship starts "securing" the first year is kind of a given. Things tend to get harder after that.

I do believe that the USA is a special case. It would be difficult for me to provide sufficient justification for that statement at the moment, but life in the USA seems particularly complex in terms of the amount of brain power dedicated to scrutinizing language and other features of human behavior to determine familiarity, allegiance, and opposition. Communicating in English-speaking environments is, at once, stimulating and terrifying. My personal impression is that, because Americans are trained from an early age to observe a highly complex set of delicate constraints that become automatic for them, they expect everyone to have the same degree of sophistication, and will often react with outrage to anyone who fails to do so.

Essentially, because in some places Americans often talk amongst Americans, they sometimes attribute intent to what is simply a cultural difference. In those places, of which some subreddits are good examples, the rest of the English-speaking worlds will try to conform to American sensibilities.

The "hidden meaning" of expressions such "state's rights" is a problem for me, because, being a non-native speaker, I will often use expressions and phrasing that leads the reader to think I am defending some kind of hidden agenda that I myself know nothing about.

Those are just my guesses, though. I wouldn't write a post specifically about this because that requires real research. It's best for a real linguist or sociologist to comment on.


And oh, I forget about phatic expressions all the time! I often have to edit my comments to add words that will make me sound respectful and "a human". It's a little tiresome to me, not gonna lie. I wouldn't feel bad about someone not using those expressions when talking to me, but I must remember to use them myself all the time! :P

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That is pointed criticism and correct on most counts. I wonder if irony is a productive attitude for that kind of criticism. Personally, I feel that irony is remarkable at reassuring those who already agree with the points being made. I don't think it is effective at producing change. Not that I think changing people is the goal of the article. I recently published an article of my own that touches on those issues. It was discussed here: https://beehaw.org/post/11732833.

I identify the most with that bit:

  1. That is, anything not declared in the post is something O.P. does not care about/is complicit with. Every expression of concern is in fact an expression of unconcern about something else; each of them merits a rebuke and you have been appointed (by yourself, but nevermind) to deliver it. Everyone but you is indifferent to the plight of the greater sage grouse and needs to be reminded of it.

I seem to have posted this twice, but neither is showing on my profile, and they are not visible to me on the "chat" group. It also says "cross-posted to: chat", but I didn't cross-post. I don't know what is going on, nor what will happen if I delete one of them (are they really two posts?). If there's a mod around, can you maybe merge the two posts? Thanks.

I wrote more than 3500 words. That is literally a lot of words, and that is the only thing I interpret from your comment. Because it's true!

I don't see how RSS could identify, prioritize, and remove duplicates between different sources in the same category. If I understand correctly, those are not really duplicates, but rather different articles on the same subject. Unless you are talking about a more complicated system or manual curation, I don't think that is possible. I don't believe I had much trouble with duplicates within the same feed, maybe I never subscribed to many feeds that do that.

It was pretty great to receive dozens of full articles everyday without any bloat or ads. Just text and maybe a few images. I suppose it is possible to subscribe to apps that aggregate several sources in a practical manner, but then you'll be restricted to their selection.

What is "(/lh)"? Google doesn't seem to know this acronym, and neither does chatGTP.

I don't know what you mean. That is just common practice in websites like this because of copyright law. If the law changes, the practice will probably change as well.

I gave some attention to World of Warcraft Classic - Season of Discovery. It is certainly enjoyable to have a lively world with plenty of people interacting everywhere, but the nuts and bolts of Vanilla are largely the same. The slow leveling, the 1-hour cooldown for my Hearthstone (the item that takes me back to the Innkeeper I set), the fact that I must be physically at the dungeon location to enter an instance, and the demands for being highly social for a bunch of basic stuff feel exhausting. A lot of time I need people for group quests and runes, and the mere thought of talking to strangers is discouraging. I realized that, while I enjoy social interaction, that is not necessarily true for the majority of my playtime. Classic Wrath always feels like a good compromise for me -- it is still Classic and the open world is still relevant, but it has a lot of QOL that makes it manageable for me. The Hearthstone cooldown is 30 minutes, I get my first mount at level 20 instead of 40, and the Random Dungeon Finder puts me in an instance automatically. Granted, there's not a lot of people on Wrath right now, but I still enjoy leveling my character, leveling mining, getting ready for Cataclysm, and making money on the auction house. I found a nice wholesome guild, but it seems that most people are just playing SoD.

I really enjoy reading dense hard science fiction that I don't fully understand. I'm only really capable of reading when my ADHD med kicks in, so this is kind of an issue since there are many other things that require my medicated attention. But reading sci-fi when my brain is properly tuned is a source of great pleasure to me. A lot of what I read is about characters that are somewhat deranged and post human. I imagine that a lot of people find those characters unsettling, but I feel cozy around them since I'm not conventionally human myself.

I'm talking about authors such as Greg Egan, Greg Bear, Peter Watts, and some things by Robert Heinlein, Asimov, and Philip K. Dick.

That is my thought as well. We'll continuously change the definition of intelligence in order to preserve the notion that intelligence is inherently human. Until we can't.

I've played Xcloud on a good wired connection. It's impressive but IMHO opinion far from ideal. Input lag is getting better but it's still noticeable. Resolution varies but it's never as good as the real thing. Noticeably worse, actually. Loading a game takes longer than locally. For me? It's not enough. That said, before I was around, my mother-in-law spent years watching everything on the wrong aspect ratio. On a good TV. So I can totally see a lot of people streaming games for years without realizing how much better gaming can be.