SpudNoodle

This didn't go where I thought it was going... in the best possible way. I love the positivity and genuine goodness in this post and these people. Thank you for restoring a little of my faith in humanity.

I don't speak or read Chinese, so here's the closest thing I've got: 何?!?

Unpopular opinion maybe, but my peeve is when men stand to pee. It gets everywhere and is so disgusting. Every weekend when I’m bleaching the walls and everything in the “splash zone” it irks me that guys won’t also just sit to pee.

I think I need the boundary you stated in the post. I really struggle when it feels like I’m not in control of my time/energy. When someone else takes away my self agency. I hate that feeing and makes me resentful towards whatever external factor is causing it.

I know the reason why this is a sensitive issue for me, and no longer am in those circumstances. But it comes up in other contexts, and I don’t know how a boundary would work there. Eg, work requiring me to “sacrifice” personal time. I get paid for the hours I work, but it deeply bothers me to have to give up my morning routine so I that I start work early to meet someone else’s deadline. It’s not unreasonable to have to occasionally work a little more, so setting a hard boundary isn’t appropriate, but where is the line for my personal comfort? Same with personal relationships, it’s not unreasonable to give in sometimes, but where to draw the line?

Nobody is actually happier enforcing patriarchy, it’s just that shedding it can be uncomfortable and difficult.

This is such a great line. It works for any toxic worldview/belief system.

Boil ‘em, mashbake ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew…

I don’t know what OP might be thinking of, but I can give you an example. DSM-5 does not recognize Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), which is associated with chronic traumatizing experiences (e.g., victims of physically abusive parents, victims of sex trafficking). The diagnostic criteria would be different than the currently recognized PTSD, which tends to be based on one or a few traumatic events (eg., soldiers/survivors of war, car crash, rape). Since it’s not recognized, many people who have PTSD-like symptoms but who don’t fit the current criteria get diagnosed with anxiety or other disorders, and subsequently don’t get access to the most effective treatments. CPTSD exists on a spectrum from sub-clinical to disabling, just like PTSD. People on the extreme end should get the necessary accommodations for their disability, but without the clinical diagnosis are often expected to kind of suck it up in the “everyone has anxiety” kind of way.
Bessel van der Kolk and other mental health experts/clinicians have been working for decades to get it included in the DSM, but it continues to be excluded. It is, however, in the ICD-11.

I can use google translate, I figured out your comment. Just making a joke was all.

Ours is Loretta cause that’s what she looks like. My mom named hers Mavis for similar reasons.