Coworker of mine was handling hardware returns for our main data center. There were two issues with this: It wasn't his job and he never told anyone about it. Work fired him during his vacation because they saw he wasn't completing his assignments, but never asked him for reasons.

Six months later, the company got hit with over 200k in service plan renewals for hardware we no longer used.

There was a post a few weeks ago referring to seals as "300kg cats with the emotional stability of a toddler and the morals of a seagull."

So... yeah.

Pretty sure they start with "a".

So I did the tuxedo thing when I left a job. Security wanted photos.

I told security that there are only two ways to leave if you know it's going to be your last day: Head held high and dressed to the nines, or carried out by as many security guards as possible.

They thanked me for choosing the former.

Olaf Scholz

For Super-Earth!

I hadn't known a thing about this until last year.

I was a 0/10 until college, though I have improved quite a bit over the past few decades using tabletop role-playing games. I can now keep several blobs in my head and know the general distances between each.

I'm still flummoxed with colors and definition, but I'm happy with what I have.

I met one during college. We were both very different people by then and went out for lunch.

While there were no apologies (there were lines crossed by both of us), there was closure.

Congratulations on your promotion!

Oh, I thought you got promoted to my command chain.

Best of luck!

Llamathrust needs to replace horsepower.

For a second I thought the next Pokémon game went Grimdark.

I have gastroparesis, which means that I've been leaning on these pretty heavily of late. I don't yet have a favorite, really, but the premade Soylent is rather filling. My biggest issue with all of them has be the sugar content.

Emperor Norton of America

This new version of them was not someone I could hate.

We were completely new people, so it felt like the "us" from before were gone. There was no need to hold onto any of the hate.

My favorite is "skratch labs", though it is... gatorade-adjacent.

Motörheads