Nah, delete this

They’re ribbing you a little bit for making such a weird post. They were worried that fewer users on Lemmy would mean less interesting and unique posts, but here you are, making the most unusual content most of us have seen all day (or week).

I have no advice for you, as I live in a very humid place without very much risk of static shocks. I just want to say this question and post are hilarious.

Wait, but cooking for one sucks. Cooking for 10 sucks harder, but cooking for 2-4 is better than for 1 imo, unless you want to eat the same dinner a few nights in a row

I’m constipated and sober so this sounds like a win-win to me

Painful read, as it resonates with me. I think I’m pretty hot shit but was humbled by the interview processes a few years back.

But in a different vein, found myself laughing at this reply in the comments:

Peter Lindberg 9 months ago

This reminds me about the time I almost got fired. I was at work, playing an intense round of table tennis, when the CEO burst out of his office. "This is it everybody!" he yelled, running over to the Big Wheel. He gave the wheel a spin, and then hurriedly explained "I've got a linked list and I need to know if it contains a cycle!"

I watched the wheel slow to a stop and panic set in as I realized the pointer was on my name. All eyes were on me as the whole team rushed into the Coding Room. I opened our communal laptop and started up notepad, which was the only application it was capable of running. The CIO loved to brag how he had cut 1% of costs by eliminating laptop and IDE purchases.

Everyone watched intently as I started to implement a linked list in C, which I needed to do before starting on the actual problem. I was pretty sure I knew how to solve this problem, so I started banging out some code. Then I hit a mental block. Someone behind me said meekly "couldn't we just google this?" The crowd had barely begun to gasp and murmur at this suggestion when the CEO shouted "No! That's not how we do it!"

I began to sweat. "How much time do I have left?" I said. "Five minutes!" was the panicked reply from one of my teammates. Suddenly I remembered the final part of the solution and frantically began to type again. "What happens if he runs out of time?" someone whispered. "Nobody knows... But do you really want to find out?" someone else said. I knew I'd be fired at the very least.

"Done!" I said confidently, and the CEO peered over my shoulder at the screen. After a few seconds, his eyes narrowed. "Ssssyntax error" he hissed. My heart raced as I scanned the code for the error. I found it just in time! A missing semicolon. Everyone sighed in relief and resumed their ping-pong and foosball games. I chuckled to myself and thought "this is why they pay us the big bucks!"

We're not actually sure what the company's product is. Whatever it is though, it relies exclusively on things like sorting and searching algorithms, and somehow doesn't need data storage, infrastructure, networking, apis, or any of that amateur stuff.

Honestly guys I think we should just let her have this one. I think she needs it.

Six for Sneeze, Nine for Nuke

Actually, the answer to some of these is zero

Wait I have something to contribute here!

Thank you UPS, very helpful 👍

/end thread.

That’s the whole debate, OP. It’s solved with this short exchange.

This makes me want to commit war crimes

Man I really hate when street snakes try to jump up my butt because my shorts are too bootylicious

Cope and seethe, motherfucker

Look sometimes I get anxious and snacky when I’m torturing people in my basement

Oh lmao I thought this was a sex thing for a second, didn’t know how Mulan would manage to crush major dong like that

Because it’s potentially indicative of a national database of everyone’s DNA, rather than just the criminal database, which would be (and perhaps is) a privacy nightmare

Make sure to pay your bills or we’ll confiscate your heart rule

Ok can I just say this type of opener by the girl on an app SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED FOR WOMEN TO DO THE OPENING is complete horseshit, and yet it happens all the gd time.

So, naturally, this was the perfect response.

I like how you can tell who didn’t read your whole post by them giving you real advice about not taking this job

Dethreaderate

What in the unholy fuck is happening to the blonde’s face in that first panel

The related Wikipedia page, in case anyone else was curious

Ok wait the rest of this is important but sidebar, my peehole is called a MEATUS??

I see my pal, Jon. Olé! Mother’s realistic Toyota

Gosh, I am just so sorry to any and everyone who has had to endure the experience this character has clearly been through for years before this. It’s so deeply upsetting to think of the shame and trauma that many millions of people experience on a daily basis for something as rote and innocuous as a thought of attraction. I know that I am incredibly privileged to have never even considered this particular conduit for hurt, and my heart breaks for those who live with it each day. You deserve love, and you deserve it on your terms.

bruh

Because of your title, I decided to see if I could guide ChatGPT into calculating the theoretical refresh rate at which the monitor would start to cook its user. It really fought me and wouldn’t even attempt the calculation, but it did give me this suggestion for my post that’s so bad it’s almost good…

For example, you could playfully suggest a refresh rate of “1,000,000 frames per second, capable of grilling a hotdog if you accidentally stand too close!” Remember to keep the humorous tone and make it clear that it’s a fictional scenario for entertainment purposes.

I’m really missing the “serious” tags from Reddit right about now. Or maybe the Out of the Loop subreddit

What’s the vibe in there? Cause I don’t like the idea of punishing regular civilians for the government’s actions, so I’m not a fan of this decision. But I’m not gonna come in here and say something like “omg why though, Israel’s the victim!!!1”

Honestly, this is a fair response to an outrageously sensationalist headline. There is promise in this particular style of vaccine, and it deserves further research, but to claim it’s going to cure all these disorders is something so far from the current truth that it really verges on an outright lie.

Lollll, I could tell she must be Australian just by the way she held her mouth while speaking

Edit: and here’s the direct link

Edit 2: This other skit by them is hilarious

It’s me. I’m someone

I’ll tell you for $8

*Who’s

Wtf does this mean

I know that this is a low bar, but seems like that’s where we are on internet grammar: I’m proud of you for correctly using two different forms of “its”.

Agreed but personally with wefwef the transition has had much less of a sting. It feels basically the same but just like Reddit is having a slow week

god-tier shitpost (or shit-tier godpost, idk)