No, they aren't. You can switch to their Universe patches anytime, at your own risk. If you want Canonical to mitigate that risk for you, you pay. Simple, really.

Wouldn't it face the exact same security issues as VBA, with drive-by installs of obfuscated malware and executions of arbitrary code?

"Could".

Sure! It won’t comply, though.

Enterprise will cause a boom in hiring VBA devs to migrate legacy apps to other programming languages, then hear Microsoft will extend support for a few more years, then fire all those VBA devs again. If Microsoft had some wits, they'd create easy tools to migrate VBA to C#.

With some of my smaller clients, the CIO is the same as the CTO and the same as the IT Director. There, IT is developers, too.

Some web applications force me to open their screens in separate tabs and windows, by making the screens remove any filtering on revisit by back button. And thus I have 20 tabs open that all start with the same meaningless word.

Microsoft has a history of doing so, both with Minecraft customers and others. They just don't care.

That indeed is annoying.