I disagree. Reading content online is inherently different from listening to someone speaking out loud. Internet discourse must be different in order for us to better understand each other. Tone and emotion do not come off well in text posts so we adjust our way of communicating accordingly.
I don't know why I bother though, you clearly have a problem with a large portion of society that has done nothing to harm you. The average person is not out to get you. Your anger at the middle class is exactly what the super rich want.
If you have Cloudflare you can set up an email alias for incoming email and then create a secondary Gmail address on top of your existing one for outgoing email. If you go to 'Settings > Accounts and Import > Send mail as' and add another email address (not an alias) with the same email as the one you setup on Cloudflare (noreply@yourdomain.com). You will likely need to create a Gmail app password to sign into the email server if you use 2FA.
Once you've created this email Gmail will send you a confirmation email to confirm it's all working. Then you can just enter Google's SMTP server info for Lemmy along with your email you used to login to the SMTP server when you added a new email in Gmail settings (your actual email, not the CF one), and the app password you created.
If done it this way for a few services beyond Lemmy and it's worked well so far. This way you're also using a Gmail account technically so you can hopefully avoid blacklists and spam filters.