yo... everyone is laughing cause its kind of funny but I had a really intense and traumatic childhood... and I also played a lot of tetris as a kid. Like more than 12 hours a day of it.

Is that seriously why my trauma didn't effect me like it would have with other people??

That's fucking nuts. Like what.?.

I have a hobby that I can't even truly mention the name of it because the name is shared with the book Lolita.

However the lolita fashion clothing I wear and collect from Japan and China has nothing to do with the book so I often have to refer to my hobby as "Japanese Street Fashion" and that actually covers the other J-Fashion I wear too, which includes lolita dresses.

They're just specific types of dresses with a certain cut, they are often described as cupcake dresses and were more popular in Japan during the Harajuku Girls craze, so like around 2010 to 2013ish. I actually picked up the hobby in 2015 and started building a wardrobe, learning how to use color theory to match pieces of clothing, learning about different fabric types and how to care for them, and even learning about how to import items from other countries like Japan where they have limits on what they want people in the US to be buying from them.

I'm not as into it as I use to be because I have less of a disposable income now and it's a very spendy hobby. Plus COVID made shipping more difficult and a lot of laws in other countries changed around shipping and prices increased for international shipments. I still buy a dress like every 6 months? I use to buy them more often and sadly I don't fit some of them anymore. I only gained a bit of weight since 2015 but the dresses are tiny and its hard to get them altered without the right matching fabric.

I'm currently trying to lose weight so I can get back into wearing more of my wardrobe again like I use to. Currently cycling as I write this.

I also use to go to meet ups for lolita fashion specifically but that community is unfortunately full of toxic people and I finally gave up on going to the meets not long after COVID restrictions were lifted where I live.

Kum & Go is such a dirty name.

• sexual abuse from my mom at the age of 5 ::: spoiler spoiler (She held me down and forced me to watch a homemade porno of my dad getting a bj from a hoooker) :::

• my friend being murdered in second grade, her dad shot her and her sisters and her grandmother.

• my mom kidnapping me when I was 8 with her friend and then hiding me in her friends trailer for a year and the only time I could leave was to go to church. Eventually people find out as my dad's side of the family was looking for me and lawyers got involved but my mom still managed to get custody of me.

• mom gets mad at me for lying about something miniscule, goes fucking ape shit, picks me up, and body slams me into a picnic table in the back yard and her friend has to come out side and beg her to stop beating me with a towel. That was when I was 8.

• church stuff continues until I'm like 14

• finally get away from church and live with dad until I'm around 16 and I get incredibly sick. I'm living with my dad at this point who refuses to take me to the hospital for an entire week until he finds me on the floor in pain. Turns out I had something called twisted gut and was rushed to ER when we got to the hospital where I had surgery and then spent like two months in the hospital recovering.

• Few months go by and I'm all healed up and doing things with my friends. I come home one day and my dad is getting some photos off a digital camera for me. Then he tells me I could be a model. Then he talks me into posing for what is pretty much borderline cp jailbait shit.

• eventually people find out about the website and cops come to my high school to interrogate me. They recorded me without my permission and asked me to cover for my dad or else I'd have to be put a home cause I wouldn't have any parents to live with. Basically they intimidated me into lying so my dad wouldn't get in trouble for it if I took the blame even though it wasn't my fault.

• word is out at the school and I'm forced to drop out. Lose pretty much all my friends in the process except one who already left for college.

• life continues to be miserable after that until I meet a guy online and convince him to move to Florida and we live together as a couple, unfortunately still with my dad until finally the guy agreed to help me run away. I literally crawled out of my window and we got in a car and drove to a bus station where we took the bus all the way to California where I lived with him for 3 more years.

• that relationship ends because he cheats on me. I move to Portland, OR homeless with no friends and like $500 in my bank account which quickly went away.

• manage to get on my feet by 26/27 but end up dating a really abusive guy who eventually tries to choke me to death on my birthday in 2018. he doesn't succeed because he blacks out during it as he had been drinking heavily, like always.

• a little later find out this guy was cheating on me for most of the relationship and that when I started seeing him, thinking that he was single, he was actually cheating on a different girl with me until he switched over to me and got me to move in.

That.. is pretty much the end of all the truly terrible times in my life? I'm still left with no friends except the one who went to college and I only get to hear from them sometimes as they live on the other side of the country from me still.

Most of my life has been incredibly depressing and traumatizing. I'm not suicidal anymore but I don't really know why I'm even here breathing other than I have a cat now who I consider to be my best friend and I want to take care of him.

edited to add a spoiler for the really insane stuff

I'd have more time to become a better artist.

edit: what the fuck was that unwarranted shitty comment.

Holy shit 200 some comments and everyone just fed a stupid troll.

Everyone says being warm but I only wear them out of comfort. I walk a lot to travel cause I don't own a car and leggings are comfy for walking in. I even wear them during the summer.

I’d like to remind you that you don’t get to redefine words.

Yeah I don't think that's what happened and definitely didn't read it that way in the post.

what do you mean it can deflect blasters? When does that come up for you??

For me it's because I have had to suffer from UTI's before and I don't want to risk some stream of water blowing bacteria into my vagina and then I gotta pee every five seconds and wait for a damn doctor visit because for some fucking reason UTI meds aren't over the counter where I live.

I can buy the UTI "pain reliever" over the counter but it just temporarily fixes the pain, and the UTI of course continues. Pretty fucking pointless.

I mean.. I like seeing that it's clearly going way down hill and fast.

The body knows iron is hard to uptake

I had to take iron supplements in the past because my periods were so bad that I would lose my vision and pass out from loss of blood.

That my parents were people I could trust.

Didn’t she post the picture and asked people to rate her?

more like a bot posted that picture.

I guarantee you that some idiot working there thought it was "quirky"

nah its a copypasta internet meme from waaay back in the day. Probably like around 2004.

Yes. I work in tech doing chat support. No one can fucking read. Or if they can, they suffer from selective reading where they just pick a word or phrase out of a message and fucking hone in on it like a missile strike and then they completely miss the context of what they were being told. They almost always have to have things reexplained because they just don't grasp reading a message and then understanding what it said.

Then when I'm online outside of work, I notice most people lack catching nuance when reading. This was especially true on Reddit and something I don't miss from there at all. Makes having a conversation online like pulling teeth.

OMG the one of them playing chess!! here's mine watching tv with me. He looks so profound.

I couldn't whistle until I had dental surgery and realized it moved my teeth so much I could finally whistle. So I was like 20 the first time I ever whistled.

gotta go local.

I never get ice cream from fast food chains.

thought Livejournal got taken over by Russia around 2008ish?

I have a hilarious permanent account on LiveJournal cause I wanted to keep it as a time capsule. This was so long ago, I actually mailed a check to Livejournal to pay for my stupid account to be permanent! So of course it's just sitting there.

I'm in the US and grew up here. My dad is a piece of shit pedophile who exploited me for several websites. None on darkweb but at the time, they didn't really need to be.

Word got out and cops came to interrogate ME the person who was the victim in this situation. They also blamed me for what was going on (how? I don't know, I was a teen who was being exploited underage but cops gonna cop) and they basically intimidated me into dropping out of school and taking the blame for my dad because the other option was that I be sent to a home as an orphan.

My dad got away with a slap on the wrist basically because cops in the US don't do their job. They even cover for people. I ended up literally running away from home.

I think the issue is that people see this topic as all outrage - I mean, look at the comments here. Everyone is so mad they can't even think straight. And I'm personally noticing that some of the outrage doesn't even seem to be directed at the right people. Like everyone is super willing to shit on pedos left and right but I wonder if they would be willing to listen to someone who has been knee deep in this shit before and were innocent because they were being exploited by a pedophile.

Like a lot of comments say "disgusting" but then don't say anything about how the person that it happened to must feel. Everyone's upset they saw something but they don't seem to be upset about who they saw it happening to.

Like I wonder who they think hurts more in this situation. The person who was made into a victim or the people who just saw it happen.

Yes! Why is it like this? I hate when people tell me to watch some video essay on a disorder - like why the fuck am I listening to some random person on youtube with no credibility??

You ever see someone do it in person? Shit is so wild to watch someone just drop something on the ground, and then just turn and leave like it didn't even happen. They don't even give it a second thought.

Same and I hate that I would have to go back to reddit. I like that I can have decent conversations here but I also miss being able to talk about niche shows I like and quote things with people. The niche interests that Reddit offers isn't really on Lemmy.

Like I'm also no longer keeping up with my favorite radio show cause they have a sub Reddit and the people who listen to that show, aren't the kind of people who can just switch over to Lemmy. They don't know the first thing about changing platforms.

I already talked to someone else on here on providing my own content and being the change I want to see. But I've found so many communities where its just one person posting into the void and there's lots of posts from like a month ago and zero comments on every single one. Some communities seem to be just people posting news links to other sites. Which makes Lemmy seem like a directory- not a community.

My biggest upvotes were always jokes. If I tried to make reasonable points about anything, or god forbid, shared my experiences - I was downvoted into oblivion and people would actively comment to tell me how much they hated my way of thinking or just repeat to me that I need therapy as if going to therapy harder was some how the answer.

This was my experience in school too. I had no issues with reading and had to watch all my classmates in every grade fucking struggle like hell.

the worst was reading outloud and now I have panic attacks and I remember my first panic attack so clearly. I was asked to read out loud in class, and I did so well at reading outloud that the next time someone else was asked, someone wanted me to read instead and then teacher was of course like no, we all need to learn how to read outloud - so when it was my turn to read out loud again, I fucking flipped out. Couldn't breath normally, started panicking and crying and screaming.

And now I hate reading out loud. And I have gone through lots of therapy and no one has ever been able to help with my panic attacks. Well, outside of "here take these pills that have tons of side effects that will also ruin your life"

I hate that I get such random shit in my feed when I really only look at art videos - like my scrolling should be nothing but people drawing but random shit like slime videos or some ass hat and his kid.

Everyone I’ve ever met who was a regular burning man attendee has been a solid human being with strong morals, personally and financially responsible, a career.

I think of two people in my past when I think of Burning Man.

One being my ex who got in trouble for punching his ex girlfriend AT burning man. He had to go to court and she got a restraining order against him. There were also witnesses and he almost got kicked out of school for it. He should have been kicked out of school in my opinion.

Anyway. Him and his friends were super trashy. All people who went to Burning Man.

Then there is this girl I use to work with. She was nice. She was extremely pretty. 10/10 instagram model type, not even exaggerated. She was also super late to everything. I waited two hours for her and her friend to meet up at a cafe. That was the last time we hung out. She really came off as someone who gets away with shit just because she's considered hot.

Thanks. It was so out of left field. Like damn, I've never even posted my art on lemmy for anyone to know.

WHERE IS THE YURI

I really can not stand the mentality behind insulting people who are asking questions.

I've even stated that I'm asking a question in good faith and being genuine and somehow people turn that shit into "you were insulting me by asking"

for me I notice way more typos here than I ever saw on Reddit which I find odd. Both sites allow you to edit your comments..

For example, EA was voted “Worst Company in America” multiple years in a row, when it’s really just a software company whose worst sins would probably amount to gross overworking/general poor treatment of their employees

I know its not a tragedy or anything but they did ruin my favorite game. So that's why I don't like them.

I wish you had a live where you did not need to be that strong.

Yeah, me too. I don't feel strong.

At least its kind of better now? Like overall, everything is good now. But it doesn't feel good.

Another one is how people will only watch things that are on Netflix or whatever the popular streaming app is now. Some people have asked me for film suggestions but when they find out that it’s not on Netflix, they lose interest even if I provide them with a link to it from archive.org or other very special places.

I hate this too. If its not on a streaming platform, I find most people are perplexed by it. People can't believe that I still watch old media either. They only want to watch brand new things. It's like they need to consume what's new and popular only.

You could do nothing and a girl would start flirting with you

does this work for lesbians too?

No. The entire time they have been trolling for responses.

Think about where they chose to post all this. In a specific thread where it would definitely get seen and get responses. As long as people respond, they get entertainment value out of it.

I had a recipe for queso I found that asked for 13oz of condensed milk.

The stores here only sell 12oz cans. So I had to buy a small 5oz one to go with it. It's so dumb.

You think being a Jehovah's Witness is bad? Pro tip, move in with dad but don't be his friend. Don't fall for any kind of "modeling" scam he pulls on you.