The comments in here aren't... what I was expecting from this community. Feels like I'm back on old internet. Ironically, the comments themselves seem to be perpetuating the heteronormativity brought up by the post.

I notice it's mostly people coming in from other communities saying things like "The population is small, so we should only have to see it as much as we see it now (basically never)," which reads as "You barely exist, so continue that way." This ignores the real world current statistics that people are increasingly feeling safe identifying as LGBT+, so we don't actually have a number of where that percentage will plateau. It could be significantly higher than the outdated 5% I'm seeing bandied about in here. It's already moved towards 8% of total USA population, with nearly 20% of Gen Z identifying LGBT. If that holds, then that's quite a lot more than the 5% everyone keeps saying.

Regardless of how little we supposedly matter based on a number, it's insulting to see people outside the community telling us how we should feel about our own experiences. That's not something they get to decide for us.

As someone who works in a library, as long as speakers follow the policies - which mainly focus on being non-profit, etc. - they are allowed to speak. As for the books, libraries order books based on what is popular, what is educational, and what is wanted by the area a particular branch is in.

The intention behind this is to ensure everyone has access to as much information as possible, regardless of what side it's on. Libraries are a place for people to get unhindered access to information and resources.

As my coworkers and I like to say, "A library should have something in it to offend everyone." It's a silly way of saying, we don't ban books and we don't limit access to books. Any books, from any author. To do so would go against everything we stand for.

As for shelving the terf books in the LGBTQ section, that may have more to do with the Dewey Decimal code of those books than it does with personal librarian choice. If its code is 547.6, it'll go with other 547.6 books, for example, regardless of the point it is making.

Can anyone explain this one to me? I'm not sure I'm following it.

It has been so helpful reading everyone's responses to this! I really appreciate how everyone has been responding with their own advice and insights! I'm going to be going through all of these and writing down main points and creating an actionable plan out of them. One main point is it sounds like I need to be really getting into hobby groups/volunteer groups; I absolutely will be doing this.

I also really appreciate people providing their own experiences with this feeling. It makes me feel as though I'm not as alone with this. Adulthood is hard! But it doesn't have to be lonely, and that's something I want to really work on.

Finding Lemmy has been really wonderful; it feels so much friendlier than the other place.

Thank you, everyone. <3

I appreciate your thought-out response. I'm going to respond as best I can to your points.

I struggle with moral/ethical conundrums in all areas of my life. The current discussion is games, but I really do consider the harm I might be causing any time I buy things. There are some harms that I cannot avoid, such as the purchase of gasoline (my current income is low and I cannot afford a greenee car). Others, such as food purchases, are limited in what I can do... But I try anyway. I have an app for telling me about ethical sourcing by company/product which I use at the store. Clothing, sadly, tends to be unethical no matter what, unless I make my own clothes - I sadly don't have the time or money to do so.

With video games, which are themselves a luxury, I have so many choices of what to play that I feel I have much more ability to decide what not to play, based on how I feel about where my money is going.

I should also acknowledge that I don't think any of these games/developers will suffer as a result of me not purchasing them. Developers/programmers also do not make income based on sales, and layoffs happen after the release of many major AAA games, simply because they don't need that large team anymore (I don't agree with this practice at all, and I think it's horrible to do to people who already don't make enough for their work, but it's relatively industry standard). The gaming community is also waaaay too large for any kind of boycott to be effective. I'm just trying to be mindful about my purchases based on my own feeling.

I think you raise a fair point about indie games. I think it's a good reminder to me to look into those as well. As long as there's no major publicized controversy surrounding an indie company, however, there's no information I can use to steer me away from it. But, I appreciate your reminder not to blindly purchase indie games just because the company is "indie."

Overall, I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me. I will be considering your points as I move forward.

Not anything major on my end, but my library does do occasional displays of queer material (among other materials) all year round, which I'm always appreciative of.

I really appreciate this response. It balances the want to do good and make ethical choices with the reality that I can't do everything perfectly. It's important to do the best we can and also leave room to enjoy ourselves :)

Thank you for your response. I also think it's good that people are becoming more aware of these issues and doing what they can to address them.

I also think your point about FOMO is a good one; it becomes much less frustrating when I look at my backlog of games I've already purchased and have thousands of hours left to play. There will always be new games, and they won't always be made by people that make me feel uncomfortable.

As others have stated, you make a good point about indie game devs. Jonathan Blow is one that my partner brings up regularly. I didn't know about Ion Fury or Kovarex but that's disappointing. It's hard to keep track of it all, but when I find out about things like this, I'll do my best to consider it when making future purchases.

I've been learning German. Maybe I'll look to see if there are any local groups for German-learners! If not, maybe I'll make one!

I agree with most of what you said. I think it's important to be conscious of where our money is going and to be comfortable discussing that with others.

About FF14 and Yoshi-P, however, I've actually heard the opposite about his opinion on trans people and NFTs. I heard from my friends (and upon a quick Google search I just did) that he expressed sympathy towards trans community members and that he was trying to keep NFTs out of the game? If you've heard otherwise, can you please share the information? I was going to resubscribe to play with my friends, but if you know something, I'd love for you to share it.

I will also check out those companies you mentioned near the end, such as KO_OP and Supergiant!

"Stray Gods" is an incredibly beautiful game. I was turned off by the playstyle at first, but then I embraced it and got really invested in the characters and the story. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys Greek mythology and/or fantastic stories about interpersonal drama and enjoys games with tough dialogue choices.

The soundtrack also!!! It's a musical game and the songs are all SO BEAUTIFUL. I teared up a few times.

Sorry to concern you! If anything I'm on the complete opposite side of the gaming politics pendulum.

I appreciate this feedback! Strangely, my D&D group has not yielded these kinds of friends. I still really value these friendships, though! We just aren't particularly vulnerable with each other. Maybe I'll make a second, separate group.

I'm looking into this technique! I'm going to definitely try this method out! I wonder if I should get an app/website for it or get a physical timer that ticks.

I just started going through the Resident Evil series with my friends and we're still on Resident Evil 1 (the 2002 remake), but it's a blast! I love the atmosphere and how terrifying the crimson heads are.

The gameplay and movement is a bit frustrating but I think that's the point, and I know later games have easier controls, so I'm just enjoying a historical look at an old game.

I'm really looking forward to seeing/experiencing the different evolutions that RE goes through over time. Not looking forward to Code Veronica though, cuz I know it's really really hard :(

I really admire your response here as you put my thoughts and feeling about this more eloquently than I could. I really want to incentivize the good work people are doing, and while my dollar going somewhere else might not mean much to EA or Blizzard, it means a lot more to smaller groups who are trying to do the right thing with less resources. It also just feels nice to spend money on something good :)

Ooh, these are all really good ideas! I may borrow some of these! :) Especially the string lights, fake plants, and blanket! That sounds so nice.

I should also get some little photos of loved ones that I can look at; that's another very good idea!

I've never heard of this tea, I will have to try it!

I may have to look into treatment for my own anxiety issues. For me, they're quite annoying and get in the way of my relationship and my enjoyment of everyday activities that should be fun, like video games and going to hangout with friends.

Wow this song is absolutely beautiful. I'm glad you shared it so others could hear it. I think I'm going to start listening to this on my high-anxiety days. It's so calming.

Ahh, lucky!! I'm very envious!

I just started Habitica thanks to your suggestion! I hope it helps me to foster good habits :)

Before I worked at a library I took them for granted too. They're such incredible resources for the community and they do so much more than lend books. They do community outreach, activities, events, many have video games and board games, movies, etc. You should check out your local branches sometime! 😊

Yes to the language-learning one! I really need to have a space to support my goal of learning German. I'm already really missing that resource that I had on Reddit.