fitjazz

I was eating at a restaurant one time with some people from out of town when a car drove past the window. Nobody really seemed to interested when I pointed it out until I also pointed out that there is not a road outside that window. The car had jumped the curb, threaded the needle between a stop sign and fire hydrant, and made it about 80 feet through the park before stopping. The cops were still dealing with the guy when I left the restaurant, he was clearly very inebriated.

Unicycling?

I'm assuming when you say "rev bombing" you mean "[eating a bunch of beans and cutting the loudest farts you can] when someone cuts you off"

Either the rock weighs exactly 500kg to an impressive precision and has been there for eleven thousand years or it weighs five hundred thousand kg and has been there for exactly 11 years.

My wife encouraged me to talk to a doctor about possibly low testosterone levels because of increasing depression and irritability. When I was talking to him he started asking questions about difficulty of maintaining muscle/keeping fat off, energy levels, ED, and low libido. I had noticed all of those things but they came on so gradually that I did not realize how bad it had gotten till we started taking about it. I got tested and sure enough I was low. I started twice weekly at home subcutaneous injections about a year ago and man has it made a difference. My mood is much better, but because I'm just going back to normal levels I'm not aggressive. It is much easier to keep muscle mass and keep fat off. I have more energy, better sex drive, and better sex in general. I have not noticed any down sides so far. I like the at home thing because it is more smaller injections instead of fewer large injections so you maintain a more consistent level. I definitely do not think people should abuse steroids for "gains" but if you have low T and are seeing multiple symptoms from it I definitely think it is worth it to get back up to a reasonable level.

I had to fly allegiant the other day and was checking a bag so I figured I would just check in at the counter. When I get there they inform me that it would be $5 to check in and get a boarding pass at the counter so I stood there, at the counter, on my phone, fighting their shitty website that kept trying to trick me into spending more money, to check in online so that I could check my bag.

Man, I knew Florida was doing some crazy shit these days but I had no idea they had their own system of measurements now.

I never saw the box for my LG fridge. If you have a large appliance delivered the delivery people usually open it and leave all the packaging in the truck and just bring the appliance itself in.

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Lines in italics were typed, lines not in italics were swiped, bold was swiped then selected from the suggested word list. It took a little bit but I managed to train it to do it.

When I was a kid my mom was baking potatoes one time and realized partway through that she forgot to stab them before putting them in the oven. She quickly opened the oven and slid the rack out and stabbed one with a fork. Unfortunately it was too late. I was standing right next to the oven and potato exploded all over my mom and I as soon as the fork touched it.

Well, my days of not takin' ya seriously are certainly comin' to a middle.

My father in law has dementia and my mother in law has to hide certain foods from him so he doesn't just constantly eat. Bananas are the main thing she has to hide. One day she was in the living room and noticed him standing in the kitchen eating a banana. She knew she had hidden them so she went to see if he had found her stash and when she got into the kitchen he turned around and offered her a bite of the stick of butter he was eating. He had peeled it like a banana and was just chomping away. After that the fridge got a padlock.

I was joking, as a motorcycle rider it was super obvious what you were talking about.

More likely "his anger would consume him and his entire body and he ends up all shriveled up like" Palpatine and he tries to take over the galaxy.

My wife (43) and I (41) had an epic sword fight last month after finishing off 2 rolls of wrapping paper.