My go-to is to ask what they like to do in their spare time.
A lot of the time you’ll get answers about how they have none or how it’s filled with chores, but you can always redirect and say, if you suddenly had a bunch of free time just for yourself, and you couldn’t use it to work, what would you fill it with?
In my mind the latter gets you down to what brings them joy, and in some cases how they want to see themselves, which can tell you a lot about a person.
Ragebait. It's boring and pointless, and it brings out the worst in everyone. I never understood the appeal of being a "troll" though, so idk.
Something else I don't miss, and maybe this is a little more personal, but often when I would try to participate in a conversation, my comment would get auto-removed for some rule/etiquette based reason I could never really wrap my head around. Like, derailing? I thought I knew what that meant, but had comments removed when I was like, "yeah that answer really resonates with me too! My 123 is xyz."
Lemmy so far has been much more welcoming to the neurodiverse and I appreciate the organic, freeflowing nature of conversation here.
Obviously, if someone's being provocatively hateful / an obvious troll, then nuke 'em.
But if people are just trying to join in on the conversation, don't be a pedantic dick about exactly what kind of conversation is allowed. It had gotten to the point where I was afraid to comment at all for fear I'd be doing it wrong.