hungrycat

I feel for OP and the targeted ads that presumably led to this post. I also used to have a cat, though I need no reminding of that fact as I think of him daily. But this was jarring to read at 530am out of the blue. So OP is the asshole in my personal book. This could have been broached in a way that avoids re-traumatizing others.

I think having this data would be interesting, but to say

Proof of religious LGBTQ+ people pushes back against hateful movements

in the context of what the article is discussing is a big assumption. Hateful movements gonna hate. I’ve seen individual hearts and minds change once people realize that LGBTQ+ people aren’t “boogeymen” that must be watched out for, but are instead their neighbors, coworkers, sons and daughters (and I’ve seen those hearts and minds harden too…). But at the group level, in my experience, people who buy into those hateful religious movements don’t usually view their group actions as hateful—they view them as necessary to save themselves and others in the name of their beliefs.

Instead of shouting “those people are unlike us and we must fight against sin” in the direction of non-religiously affiliated LGBTQ+ people, it becomes “bless their hearts they want to be on the righteous path but we must help them overcome the scourge of sin” directed at religious in-group LGBTQ+ people. Maybe the hateful vitriol is softened, but the outcome tends to be the same.

But maybe I’m just jaded because I think organized religion is largely a scourge on humanity.

Congratulations, it’s a big step and often not a very comfortable one your first few times. Also, this is not meant to put a damper on anything, but just understand that you’ll be coming out your entire life, (especially) any time you’re in a relationship with someone of the same sex.

Friend group in college? You’ll be coming out either overtly (“I’m bi!”) or implicitly.

Introducing people at work to your partner. At first when you do it you’ll be watching for reactions, gauging any changes in body language. It’s just the reality.

And it’s why normalizing different orientations and presentations of the many facets of being LGBTQ+ is so important in society. So that coming out doesn’t have to be a real thing anymore. You’ve done something important and beyond yourself. The more people realize that LGBTQ+ people are everywhere—the more seen we are—the more it becomes normalized and helps shifts the current default.

Exactly. Minority groups that are tolerated within larger, harmful movements are often manipulated and leveraged in some way that negatively impacts that minority group or other minority groups. See also the Log Cabin Republicans.

I’m so conflicted by this. On its face I want to be happy that it’s happening.

I’m not a supporter of public funds for private schools, in general. Large-scale studies have shown that voucher programs can have very modest positive effects or may have significant negative effects on performance. And while these kids are supposedly going to be taking conflict resolution classes, that stuff is harder to put into practice in the real world. If they’re going to be faced with bigotry (and they will at some point), I would say that school is arguably a more controlled environment on the whole to experience it and learn to handle it than a street corner. Removing these kids from the general population also doesn’t do anything to increase the visibility of LGBTQ+ individuals among schoolchildren, especially at this young age when initial impressions and opinions are being formed, nor does it help to dismiss the idea that queer kids are getting the kind of “special treatment” that ultimately has the capacity to breed resentment and homophobia among parents and their kids.

But of course, the primary argument I can think of against all of the above is that LGBTQ+ youth should not be sacrificial lambs for a cause. We need to protect them. We also need to teach non-LGBTQ identifying kids and school administration how to be active allies. And improve resources in all schools. And make every school a safe and welcoming space for everybody.

I’m just so conflicted. In the immediate term, this feels like it’s the right thing to do. But on a longer term time horizon, this looks like it will only cause additional problems down the road, merely addressing symptoms and not root causes.

Blanket whenever you need them

Haley Joel Osment did this back in 2000, and look where it got him!

Two father household here. We are Dad and Pop. We’ll use it until they’re old enough to want to call us something else if they choose to. We felt it was important to establish unique names for each of us from the outset to avoid the situation of having to use our first names later on, which is a personal choice.

The Bravest Knight on Hulu. The focal character is the daughter of two men, who both appear regularly.

Edit: Also “Ridley Jones” on Netflix. It’s an Indiana Jones kind of thing. The two gay fathers of one of the side characters feature a lot less, so you could cherry pick some episodes.