I'm not applying but I have a comment / suggestion:
A pattern I'm seeing here, in activism and open source is that you basically want the full package right now. While I understand that that is what you need, people like that don't grow on trees.
It would be good if there was a "trainee" position for people to gain the kind of experience you are asking for. And guidance, by you to make sure they learn the right lessons. Possibly including a private-ish best practices handbook or whatever. I know that that means additional work in the short term.
Thanks for reading, all the best wishes!
(Compare to linux' kernel team asking for kernel devs and the policy of "pick any topic you'd like to work on". Do I expect a fully course on everything, bringing me from "high school knowledge" to "kernel dev professional"? No, of course not. But a few book recommendations would be great. In that case. Not sure if you can learn moderation from a book.)
Ah yes. Work that tracks you, not by your output, but by whether your mouse jiggles a statistically correct amount. Nice.