the irony of blåhaj going down after you posted this. seems we're back but just barely. i might not be able to post this comment!
i've been seeing these vents from the sidelines and i'm sorry your wife suddenly turned like this not even 2 weeks into your journey. i don't think i can answer these questions for you, but it seems like she might be getting severely influenced by her family? something similar happened to me a long time ago, where a family friend tried twice to get me to break up with someone on his own personal moral grounds (read: some lies he made up). it only succeeded the first time.
popping in again just to say i've been misgendering myself in my head since i figured myself out almost 2 years ago. It's So Normal.