Am I happy? I certainly feel more complete since I figured things out. I don't know though, it's almost like asking if I'm happy I'm right handed or have curly hair. Being pan is just part of me, and it's a part I embrace. I think when people talk about pride, what resonates to me is more "the complete absence of shame" rather than the feeling I get for accomplishing something. Happiness feels similar to me.
The market isn't great right now, and a lot of companies are doing the thing where they list jobs just to make their teams feel like more help is coming, but have no intention of hiring for the role. Try not to take it personally when an application doesn't work out, it usually is more about them than you, and the numbers game works against you. Hang in there, you'll pull through if you keep at it