I am new here so I have stuff to share, but my big thing right now is...I have had a lot of unexplained chest pain for a long time, and I have a cardiologist that actually has an explanation and her treatment seems to be working, also it seems to be going a long way to helping my depression in a bonus win.

This week went from bad, I wasn't feeling well couldn't find any energy was getting back into depression, to worse, my favorite all time uncle passed away last night. I am not dealing well. He was one of those weird, quite a lot, offbeat people that kind of got me, no one else liked him much. Now I feel like when I talk about how much I love home it makes me even more of an outsider. Also he is so far away I can't go to his friends and his circle and be with other people that love him too.

Hopeful, I did well at piano lessons, I am meeting my new neurologist tomorrow (scared, but I will make it), I think I am sleeping better. Things might be looking up after tomorrow I might get some answers or some relief soon! So my week is hopeful!

Quick update, went to the neurologist, she recommended 2 new medications, my cardiologist said no to one and my insurance is trying to not cover the other, I am still full of hope, but need some pep talk. LOL

This didn't seem the wrong place to do this so here goes.

I am new here...Most people call me Mara, or Bob, there are a few other AKA's I am known by but those are my favorites so feel free to use those or what ever you want. I answer to a lot of names. This is such an awesome concept. The short version of my background is I am Autistic (1), Gay, and Satanist. I use he/him but gender doesn't really have a lot of meaning to me, so whatever works. This is my first real day here so I am a bit overwhelmed but I am learning my way around and it is so amazing reading and getting to know the philosophies.

I am not going to write a book here but I do like to talk so please feel free to engage me. I am very politically engaged (I am very left for an American). I do believe that claims require sources, unless they are clearly stated as opinion. I have some diverse hobbies so there is always something to talk about. One last thing, and I know how this sounds, but know I mean it. No mater what, no matter how bad the disagreement, or how far our opinions differ I really do love you! That doesn't Change.

My brain is not functioning well right now and that is the pep-talk I need, being reminded this isn't personal and just the really crap way insurance works here in the USA.

I am disappointed but the hope was for relief not for lifesaving actions, so I will deal, I have had this problem for a while it is not like I can't survive it.

This sounds odd to me, but from what I have gathered it doesn't seem so strange in this community. It feels odd to get actual useful advice. If anything gets past there isn't anything wrong with you, I usually get a deal with it or suck it up. So the post felt like a long shot. It is not so recent anymore but I think I am still adjusting to the news of the diagnosis and I know for a fact that no one around me thinks it means anything. Anyway, all that means Thank You! Very Much! for taking time to help.

So I have always had tinnitus so this sounds awesome, but what is pink noise, like white noise and where would I find something like that?

Also Thanks so much for offering help. I really do appreciate it. It means a lot to me. I will look it up on the internet but I was wondering if you had any interesting resources.

Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers

Sitting in the back row of the movie Ghost probably our 4th or 5th time seeing it, he finally got the nerve to kiss me, it was truly magic, I miss him so much.