Ooh... shots fired across the bow of the Yellow Submarine!
C'mon, plucky little yellow fellow, torpedo the sh#t outta that blue meanie m#th#rf#ck#r!
Never ask her anything at all. I mean... who cares? Why do people constantly try to squeeze infotainment from the emotionally ill? It ain't healthy, all around. For anyone.
You've heard of a "walled garden".
But this... this has become a "walled right-wing dumpster".
Two bee
Ore knot
Two bee...
...sorry, I zoned out there for a second... what was the question?
This is where Pepe The Frog belongs, after being in the clutches of the maga right wing. Thank god he escaped.
Gather round, children, and let me tell you a story of the same type of mindless corporate stupidity that happened in my state, about how something successful was ruined because all they could see was at the surface level...
When the mini-market chain AM/PM opened some stores in Baja California, they came up with a hybrid concept that also included a made-to-order fast food kitchen serving burgers, and a sizable seating area, they called this Dave's Kitchen. It was a huge, huge hit.
Enter 7-11 into the scene. Getting wind of this new phenomenon and armed with corporate cash from their Mexico offices in... Monterrey I think it was... they bought every AM/PM in the state and converted them to 7-11s, surely salivating at the prospect of this large client base that was supposedly built-in with their acquisition.
So what was the first thing they did?
They shuttered Dave's Kitchen. Poof... gone!
They got rid of the soda machine, the ice cream machine... instead of assimilating the business model of what they had bought, they got rid of everything that made these AM/PMs unique in the market, replaced it with their own bland and generic way of doing things according to the home office in Monterrey.
Within a month, the new 7-11s had lost around 3/4 of their customers. Their emergency response was to send in a squad of corporate poll takers to pester the customers still there and see... why the other ones had gone, I guess?
Asking the wrong questions (why did the customers leave in droves?) to the wrong people (the few remaining clients who didn't leave). And thus, nothing of value was learned, because when your corporate business school suits are clumsy unthinking hammers, every situation and problem look like a goddamned nail.
Translation into "plainspeak", filtering out all the deflection and projection:
We have an incompetent alcoholic military, with a toxic environment of forceful sodomy among our own troops abusing each other as well as others.
Yep... that pretty much covers it completely.
One is a convicted felon, 34 times over, and there is more on the way. The other has never been suspected of any criminal act.
tHeY'rE tHE sAmE! bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe! LoL aMiRiTe
So many idiots can't figure out who's really rigging the game against them, even when it's staring them in the face, blasting them with racist and fascist language and actions, with the breath of chronic bad health habits and the smell of soiled diaper.
The point is to give someone vulnerable a full life, with safety and warmth.
From your perspective, time went by too fast; from their perspective, it was a long and peaceful lifetime, they were incredibly fortunate to have someone like you.
Also, there is an implicit assumption we carry around that to be immortal is some sort of blessing or state to aspire to, while it may very well be that being mortal is itself the blessing.
In my opinion, the highest tribute one can pay to a departed friend and companion is to again open one's home to another vulnerable creature and make him/her family.
Do it in your departed friend's memory and honor. If you could communicate again with them, you would let them know this is part of their proud and gentle legacy, to reduce suffering on the world - "Look what you did, by being who and what you were for me in life, you opened the door for someone else when their turn came."
This is what I have done, and do not regret a minute of it.
Ok, somebody's gotta say it and it's gonna be me:
Yo dawg, we put a shower in your shower so you can shower while you shower.
Wait till you get a load of that Swiss alchemist who isolated sulphur in powder form, which was later used to quickly start fires, as in matches.
Looking for gold, he thought - what else has the color of gold? The answer struck him in a moment of inspiration - urine.
This crazy bastard boiled gallons and gallons of piss in his home workspace. One can only begin to imagine the stench during those alchemical sessions... and how he was perceived by the rest of the neighborhood. Not a very popular man, I would imagine.
EDIT: Now that I think about it, I think it was phosphorus. Even more apt, considering the atomic symbol is "P"!
Wall street is the psychotic, insatiable, dehumanizing tail that wags the dog, one petulant tantrum-a-minute to the next, and the next, and the next... perpetually.
God forbid anyone in a corporate position of power try and do anything that isn't indecent and corrosively myopic, else the stampeding Dow Jones zombies go on a goddamned short-selling rampage.
But then people have been saying this for ages now, and still here we are.
EDIT: added "insatiable"
The problem with this corrosive, inflexible conservative narrative, is that these joyless assholes try and impose themselves politically and on everybody.
Back in the late-80s or early-90s, a guy in my coastal town bought a new Nissan Pathfinder, took a bunch of friends for a nighttime joyride at the beach. I do believe there was beer involved.
When they hit water lapping in the sand and made a sharp turn, the tires made a wake that looked really, really cool! Do that again!
Suddenly, the car stopped moving forward. They had drifted too deep. Of course none of these rocket scientists had any idea if the tide was coming or going... it was coming.
They got out - through the windows I guess - waded onshore and prayed for the best. But like I said, the tide was coming. They saw the Pathfinder that still had that new agency car smell, getting completely submerged.
Next day a tow truck pulled it onshore, but as you probably guessed, it was a total loss.
For these mouth-breathers, "'Murica! Freeeedum!" means:
Whatever lazy, angry, ignorant, all-viscera-no-brains image I cooked up while living alone and bitter in a neglected and crumbling old house with a few "KEEP OUT!"/"TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT" signs around the goddamned perimeter.
Their tiny little minds live in a tiny, narrow and flat, miserable little world. And here's the kicker - that's the way they want it, out of sheer lazy inertia.
Who gives a fuck? Let him rant into the void, we all know everything that comes out of that parasite is ignorant, toxic hot air that feeds on the attention.
Lock that thing up.
I am real American, live in authentic American warm-water port and how about those New York Yankees Of Baseball Team!
Now that we have established trust with entertainment reference, I tell you that voting for Biden is no good.
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.
The Reddit Protest Is Finally Over. Reddit Won.
So say mediocre minds in constant need of a narrative that's final and neat and wrapped in a little bow, all the time.
The Reddit Protest Is Finally Over. Reddit Won.
By some short-term metric here and there, I guess, if you're willing to squint while looking at the panorama. And just how does the hack writer define "winning" - as "not disappearing or sinking into irrelevance overnight"?
Because long-term nobody knows, as places like right here are continuing to develop and grow, are quickly becoming a viable alternative, ever more active, in a positive feedback growth cycle.
Obama FEMA Boncentration Bamps!
He's coming for yer gunz!
They repeat the same lie over and over and over again, and these one-dimensional simpletons swallow the entire thing, time after time after time.
The problem is, these one-dimensional simpletons vote.
And you know who doesn't vote? The other type of simpleton who swallows that other cherry-picking lie, over and over and over again: bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe LoL aMiRiTe.
Toxic meathead does not belong anywhere near a microphone. Yet here we are.
Let's pause for a moment and focus on that intent:
I'm going to take LSD in a war zone.
It's like the psychedelic revolution smashed right into The Right Stuff test pilot daredevil attitude. Some people truly seem to be made different than you and me.
That said, it probably wasn't one of those legendary "heroic doses", as a certain low-to-medium range (which varies from person to person) does sharpen awareness of things we normally filter out automatically.
If this guy did LSD in a war zone, he's probably done it many times before, is familiar with its' effects, a medium dose for him might be a heavy one for the rest of us... mere mortals.
Yes, because the Old Testament is all peace and love and kumbaya.
Another dipshit military lifer inserting subjective religious arrogance - whatever religion it may be - into his spiel, details at eleven.
THEY CAME BACK NEGATIVE!
So I walked into the Minimalist Store and said "Give me nothing you've got", and the lady replied "A fine choice, sir, feel free to look around, we have plenty of that for you not to choose, I'll be right here if you have no questions".
A chronic compulsive content-stealer creature like gallowboob might have encompassed that 15% all by himself.
London and Tokyo taxi drivers are the apex... the map apex... the mapex (pronounced MAY-pex)?
"Take me to that hotel that's in front of a pub, I think it's called The Fox & Hounds... I think it's between a park and a Tube station", and the crazy bastard could figure out exactly where you meant, even though there are multiple pubs named The Fox & Hounds in London.
"She must be executed."
"But you beat your meat to her videos all the time."
"That is a sacrifice I am wiling to make."
"Wisely said, brave martyr. Glory be to Allah."
"Glory be."
Your comment assumes that there is a reasoning mind inside that uniform, instead of mindless knee-jerk brute force.
And that mindlessness also goes for whoever decides to pull these "I might get tased for this" pranks or dares, just to be a blip on local television for a second or two.
thinks
You call that "thinking"? There is no "thinking". Doesn't matter what these shitheads pump out, it's a mental sewage circlejerk that changes every two minutes, reality is meaningless, trying to keep track and "correcting" them is truly a soul-sucking fool's errand, meant to keep the "correctors" always reacting, never on the initiative.
I wouldn't say for political purposes. I'd say for lazy, ignorant narcissism-yet-inferiority-complex (call it self-loathing), mindless knee-jerk flailing with a five-seconds attention span that resets every five seconds.
Attempt at lazy instant gratification - RESET - Attempt at lazy instant gratification - RESET - Attempt at lazy instant gratification - RESET...
Over and over again. A million times over. Never-ending until that parasitic creature dies. With no care to the death and suffering any of this could bring to those "inferior to me"... and EVERYONE is inferior to that pig, EVERYONE will eventually be thrown under the bus. All for a five-second knee-jerkoff hollow satisfaction.
That's not quite politics. It's something much sicker than that, if you can wrap your head around such a thing. The politics are just the fucking wallpaper on the dungeon.
That's why you gotta get a Linux refrigerator. And coffee maker. And washer/drier. Etc.
required components that protect your privacy
Talk about doublespeak. Double-plus-good, eh?
There's a Monty Python sketch where someone handles a large glass container with a liquid that looked like rosé wine, no context provided.
Out of the blue, some BBC executive or execs wanted to censor the sketch because of "its' visual depiction of menstrual urine".
It truly takes some twisted, fucked-up minds to find obscenity everywhere they look, projecting Satan onto everything around them, carrying Satan piggyback even into neutral zones.
If by "a while back" you mean 2021, when a massive arctic blast went all the way down to the middle of Mexico.
It also happened last year, on a smaller scale.
Both times, Texas fared worse than the surrounding states, in terms of their greedy ignorance and incompetent grid. It wasn't just the blackouts and brownouts, also many peoples' electricity bills ran into the thousands of dollars.
A warm water port that does not pass through an enemy territory strait, etc. You know, just normal everyday concerns for us Texans. Did I mention I'm from Texas? Yippee ki yay.
released him into a swamp
Yeah, of course. That's exactly the media spin they'd put out after the Illuminati lizards performed a rescue operation of their boss.
Yeah, I do that. They don't seem to mind, as long as it's brief and there's ear scratches afterwards.
For my cat's test results to come back negative.
While filming Citizen Kane, director and star Orson Welles likened making a movie to playing with a toy train set, and that playful inventive spirit shines all throughout the movie.