Coconut Earhart Pizza Crab

Needs one more square on the right-hand side saying "YES".

accidentally

Then all-depression humor all the time isn't humor anymore, you know? It's just... depression.

Dude trying to get it from first principles!
Which is what I also lean towards. Give it to me step by step and I need to clearly map out each one... then the mind wanders and when I snap back to attention, I've lost the plot already, my mathematical surroundings are unclear, disorienting.

Add to this an erratic series of math teachers - some of them good, some of them blah - and this day trigonometry to me is a jumbled mess, but I loved calculus and was pretty good at probability and statistics.

Can any mere man wield such ferocious, blinding power?
A terrifyingly, beautiful thing to behold. But only just a glance.
I'm scared, feel like... like an Upper Neolithic man witnessing Nikolai Tesla inside his Faraday cage, as the bright blue electric current crackles and arches all around him.

Go home, evolution, you're drunk... or tripping balls on a heroic dose, sounds more like it.

Starring... a de-aged Brad Douriff, in the role of a lifetime!

A chronic compulsive content-stealer creature like gallowboob might have encompassed that 15% all by himself.

The red chair of death... to the lumbar region.

Where's the mullet, with Van Halen and Aerosmith and Skynyrd?

Did somebody input those "life in the year 2000" drawings from the good ole Queen Victoria days, plus "gators", into the AI image generator?

When I was a kid, our family's portable stereo had a bunch of weird radio bands on it, by which I mean anything other than AM and FM, the edges of some shortwave bands picked up the radio chatter of local fishermen here and there.

One time a friend and I stumbled into one of these conversations, the engine of some boat had stalled, my friend plugged in the headphones into the microphone jack and started to talk with the guy on the other end.
Of course he wasn't, but his improv and timing was impeccable, it really did seem like the setup was working as a transmitter also.

Decades later, I still clearly remember the way my friend mimicked an adult and technical conversation to a tee, promising to the stranded fishermen that backup was on the way... into the right earcup of a set of headphones.

It could be broken down into a couple of further categories somewhere in the middle:

1. Where probes have landed - Venus, Moon, Mars, Titan, a couple of asteroids/comets.
2. Where probes have only flown past - Mercury, a few asteroids/comets, Jupiter and its' main moons, Saturn and its' moons (except Titan, see above), Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Ultima Thule (now officially named 486958 Arrokoth).

EDIT: on further thought, there's another one in between those two.
Where probes have orbited - Mercury, Venus, Moon, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn.

also bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe I hAvE aN iNfOrMeD oPiNiOn!

You've heard of a "walled garden".
But this... this has become a "walled right-wing dumpster".

This is where Pepe The Frog belongs, after being in the clutches of the maga right wing. Thank god he escaped.

Translation into "plainspeak", filtering out all the deflection and projection:

We have an incompetent alcoholic military, with a toxic environment of forceful sodomy among our own troops abusing each other as well as others.

Yep... that pretty much covers it completely.

One is a convicted felon, 34 times over, and there is more on the way. The other has never been suspected of any criminal act.

tHeY'rE tHE sAmE! bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe! LoL aMiRiTe

So many idiots can't figure out who's really rigging the game against them, even when it's staring them in the face, blasting them with racist and fascist language and actions, with the breath of chronic bad health habits and the smell of soiled diaper.

The point is to give someone vulnerable a full life, with safety and warmth.
From your perspective, time went by too fast; from their perspective, it was a long and peaceful lifetime, they were incredibly fortunate to have someone like you.

Also, there is an implicit assumption we carry around that to be immortal is some sort of blessing or state to aspire to, while it may very well be that being mortal is itself the blessing.

In my opinion, the highest tribute one can pay to a departed friend and companion is to again open one's home to another vulnerable creature and make him/her family.

Do it in your departed friend's memory and honor. If you could communicate again with them, you would let them know this is part of their proud and gentle legacy, to reduce suffering on the world - "Look what you did, by being who and what you were for me in life, you opened the door for someone else when their turn came."

This is what I have done, and do not regret a minute of it.

Ok, somebody's gotta say it and it's gonna be me:

Yo dawg, we put a shower in your shower so you can shower while you shower.

Wait till you get a load of that Swiss alchemist who isolated sulphur in powder form, which was later used to quickly start fires, as in matches.

Looking for gold, he thought - what else has the color of gold? The answer struck him in a moment of inspiration - urine.

This crazy bastard boiled gallons and gallons of piss in his home workspace. One can only begin to imagine the stench during those alchemical sessions... and how he was perceived by the rest of the neighborhood. Not a very popular man, I would imagine.

EDIT: Now that I think about it, I think it was phosphorus. Even more apt, considering the atomic symbol is "P"!

Wall street is the psychotic, insatiable, dehumanizing tail that wags the dog, one petulant tantrum-a-minute to the next, and the next, and the next... perpetually.
God forbid anyone in a corporate position of power try and do anything that isn't indecent and corrosively myopic, else the stampeding Dow Jones zombies go on a goddamned short-selling rampage.

But then people have been saying this for ages now, and still here we are.

EDIT: added "insatiable"

Back in the late-80s or early-90s, a guy in my coastal town bought a new Nissan Pathfinder, took a bunch of friends for a nighttime joyride at the beach. I do believe there was beer involved.

When they hit water lapping in the sand and made a sharp turn, the tires made a wake that looked really, really cool! Do that again!

Suddenly, the car stopped moving forward. They had drifted too deep. Of course none of these rocket scientists had any idea if the tide was coming or going... it was coming.

They got out - through the windows I guess - waded onshore and prayed for the best. But like I said, the tide was coming. They saw the Pathfinder that still had that new agency car smell, getting completely submerged.

Next day a tow truck pulled it onshore, but as you probably guessed, it was a total loss.

Who gives a fuck? Let him rant into the void, we all know everything that comes out of that parasite is ignorant, toxic hot air that feeds on the attention.
Lock that thing up.

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.

I am real American, live in authentic American warm-water port and how about those New York Yankees Of Baseball Team!
Now that we have established trust with entertainment reference, I tell you that voting for Biden is no good.

Obama FEMA Boncentration Bamps!
He's coming for yer gunz!

They repeat the same lie over and over and over again, and these one-dimensional simpletons swallow the entire thing, time after time after time.
The problem is, these one-dimensional simpletons vote.

And you know who doesn't vote? The other type of simpleton who swallows that other cherry-picking lie, over and over and over again: bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe LoL aMiRiTe.

The Reddit Protest Is Finally Over. Reddit Won.

So say mediocre minds in constant need of a narrative that's final and neat and wrapped in a little bow, all the time.

The Reddit Protest Is Finally Over. Reddit Won.

By some short-term metric here and there, I guess, if you're willing to squint while looking at the panorama. And just how does the hack writer define "winning" - as "not disappearing or sinking into irrelevance overnight"?
Because long-term nobody knows, as places like right here are continuing to develop and grow, are quickly becoming a viable alternative, ever more active, in a positive feedback growth cycle.

Toxic meathead does not belong anywhere near a microphone. Yet here we are.

Yes, because the Old Testament is all peace and love and kumbaya.
Another dipshit military lifer inserting subjective religious arrogance - whatever religion it may be - into his spiel, details at eleven.

THEY CAME BACK NEGATIVE!

So I walked into the Minimalist Store and said "Give me nothing you've got", and the lady replied "A fine choice, sir, feel free to look around, we have plenty of that for you not to choose, I'll be right here if you have no questions".

London and Tokyo taxi drivers are the apex... the map apex... the mapex (pronounced MAY-pex)?

"Take me to that hotel that's in front of a pub, I think it's called The Fox & Hounds... I think it's between a park and a Tube station", and the crazy bastard could figure out exactly where you meant, even though there are multiple pubs named The Fox & Hounds in London.

Your comment assumes that there is a reasoning mind inside that uniform, instead of mindless knee-jerk brute force.

And that mindlessness also goes for whoever decides to pull these "I might get tased for this" pranks or dares, just to be a blip on local television for a second or two.

"She must be executed."
"But you beat your meat to her videos all the time."
"That is a sacrifice I am wiling to make."
"Wisely said, brave martyr. Glory be to Allah."
"Glory be."

I wouldn't say for political purposes. I'd say for lazy, ignorant narcissism-yet-inferiority-complex (call it self-loathing), mindless knee-jerk flailing with a five-seconds attention span that resets every five seconds.

Attempt at lazy instant gratification - RESET - Attempt at lazy instant gratification - RESET - Attempt at lazy instant gratification - RESET...
Over and over again. A million times over. Never-ending until that parasitic creature dies. With no care to the death and suffering any of this could bring to those "inferior to me"... and EVERYONE is inferior to that pig, EVERYONE will eventually be thrown under the bus. All for a five-second knee-jerkoff hollow satisfaction.

That's not quite politics. It's something much sicker than that, if you can wrap your head around such a thing. The politics are just the fucking wallpaper on the dungeon.

That's why you gotta get a Linux refrigerator. And coffee maker. And washer/drier. Etc.

required components that protect your privacy

Talk about doublespeak. Double-plus-good, eh?

If by "a while back" you mean 2021, when a massive arctic blast went all the way down to the middle of Mexico.
It also happened last year, on a smaller scale.

Both times, Texas fared worse than the surrounding states, in terms of their greedy ignorance and incompetent grid. It wasn't just the blackouts and brownouts, also many peoples' electricity bills ran into the thousands of dollars.