I had to quit my job not long ago to recover from burnout, and for some reason I decided to start using Arch btw even though I'm a kind of a linux noob (maybe as a more acceptable form of self-harm) and spent the next month locked away to tinker with it.

My setup is pretty much complete now, so I guess I'll just focus on growing a beard this time. Thanks for the great tips!

I'm pretty confident it wasn't due to a secret relationship. He's a digital nomad so he's never in one place for very long, which he'd stated early on as to why he doesn't expect to have a long term relationship with anyone.

So in fairness to him, he did try to manage my expectations. I knew it was a "situationship" and even told myself to not get too invested, just enjoy the moment with him etc and be ready to move on once he left.

I lost sight of that the longer we spent together, and despite what he said at the beginning, I naively thought that things were naturally developing into something more serious and that he'd be willing to do something long distance with me.

But in fairness to me also, he did say things like how he didn't expect that we'd become so close, that I was the first person to make him reconsider moving back to his home country, and he did all kinds of things that imo, most people wouldn't do for someone who's just a casual fling. It's just hard for me to understand that sort of inconsistency, but I guess all I can do is accept that people can be like that and that they'll disappoint you as a result.

I feel so silly because a friend of mine showed concern early on, saying it's easy for guys who are avoidant/emotionally unavailable to love-bomb you at the beginning and mean it, but then they get freaked out and run. I was like "yeah yeah sure" thinking it'd either not happen, or that I'd be able to handle it when it did. Clearly, I could not handle it haha.

Wow, your story made me really sad for you, what a terrible way to be dumped. Thank you for sharing, it helps a lot to hear someone else's experience and remember that I'm not alone. Your comment really moved me I almost started crying again haha. Thank you for being so kind.

Man, taste really is subjective because I have no idea how you can trash today's fashion while being totally ok with the cultural blunder that is early 2000s fashion.

I was looking at red carpet photos from some awards show in 2002, and everyone looked like they dressed themselves by stumbling blindly through the discount rack at Gap Kids. Probably the worst era in fashion history imo.

Your words are so compassionate and matter-of-fact at the same time, and I think that's just what I needed. It's truly appreciated, thank you <3

You're absolutely right. I've accomplished so much since my last - and abusive - relationship. For some reason I was able to recover from it very quickly, and I say this as someone who took 5 years to fully get over my first (also abusive) bf.

I was VERY codependent and the relationship traumatized me, but less than 2 months after the breakup, I entered an international comedy competition and won first place. Suddenly people who didn't give a shit about me before wanted me on their shows. I had all sorts of new opportunities thrown at me and now I have a huge list of things I can happily brag about.

I probably would never have taken that sort of plunge when I was with my ex. Maybe hitting rock bottom + the anger made me fearless, I don't know.

I still struggle a bit with self-image and social anxiety, but I can see how far I've come and I think overall, I'm a pretty cool person.

Thank you for reminding me that I don't have to settle for someone who doesn't see that. You're right, I shouldn't have to convince someone to be with me. I'll tell myself that next time I have a "everything reminds me of him :'(" moment (and I'm having a LOT of those, ughh)

I was a dumb kid, went for the same consistency in the grossest way possible, which was putting spoonfuls in my mouth, spitting it back into the bowl and mixing it in. One day an older friend saw that, horrified. Told me to just stir the ice cream for a while instead and I stopped with the saliva ice cream shenanigans from then on.

That's a great perspective and needed reality check. It's funny how even when you're aware you're in the honeymoon phase you can get so lost in it. But yeah, I hadn't even considered your first point and now you've given me more to consider. I truly appreciate it.

Cut a newbie some slack! No one told me I had to use Arch as my first distro, I started with Ubuntu. Couldn't a 5 o'clock shadow suffice as a start?

Using bspwm because I wanted even more keyboard shortcuts to remember 🥴

Sure, but even if my opinion wasn't informed by those award shows, I still have an abundance of bedazzled tees and whale tails burned into my memory to stand by it

It's a great distro

I'll agree once I can figure out how to at least get my laptop suspend on idle. Why are there no clear docs on it???

There is also Simplelogin. I use both since you get a limited number of aliases in their free tiers.

Oh my god there's a chart? Lmaooo

Ya I have Nvidia, but afaik the reason suspend on idle doesn't work is because there's nothing sending idle hints to systemd and I haven't found any resources on how to do that. I still have so much to learn ;__;

Curious, how do you personally treat yoself? I could use ideas!

You're secretly asian. We dip all kinds of fruit (usually tart ones) into chili salt. Unripe mangoes and guava are my faves.

A bubble bath would be soooo nice... if only I had a bathtub! I don't even have hot water 🥲

And no, it's not at all creepy to be an open ear to a stranger, we should all practice being kind to one another. If chatGPT is a bust I may well hit you up ;)

Hahaha it was totally the era of the tummy back then and Keira Knightley was its patron saint.