In prison.

Butthole destroyed.

Make check on coin.

Massive loss in value.

No.

(Slaps another sandwich down) FOR THE HOLDERS OF THE SHARE.

(Everyone in the restaurant) FOR THEY SHARE THE HOLD!!!

Those slaps were rather gentle, with a spirit of “Get out of here you silly goose!”

I love needlessly long manga titles.

My cat launched a nuke and to stop it I married my plumber!

Scissor me timbers!

I’m glad Johnny Sins is breaking out into more dialog heavy roles.

“Make the pants tighter.”
…they’re already pretty tight-
“AS TIGHT AS POSSIBLE!”

Imagine being bored to tears as a guard, then seeing this just pop up and be left with zero explanation.

Snickers. Seize the means of yummy in your tummy.

Sure ChatGPT is powerful, but can it even interrupt your typing by saying, “Looks like you’re writing a ransom note. Do you need help with that?”

Your honor, my client promises to beseech the machine spirit and raise little Syntax Error here under the cult of Mars.

We now know that cars are not an effective anti-submarine countermeasure.

This is really sad. People deserve to be who they are.

Once upon a time I was dating a normal lady, but when she decided to break up with me, I kept finding out wacky information.
-Wacky part 1: Okay, so she decides to break up with me via a friend…’s text. Now we were dating for over a year and we’re not 13, so this was unexpected. Also I had just bought her a plane ticket to meet my parents with me. We would be on separate planes but I was excited. She was indeed serious about breaking up via her friend…’s text. (Sad music here, or polka! I don’t care.)
-Wacky part 2: It had been months but I was getting over her. Through a post I see that not only had she been cheating with me, it had been going on for months while we dated. (Sad trombone music here, this is actually required by audit.)
-Wacky part 3 (The fuckining): So remember the plane ticket? She actually used it to see the guy she was cheating on me with, who turns out, lives quite close to the airport near my parents. I get this little tidbit a few months later. (Sensible techno music)

Aaaaaa. Huh?! Aaaaaa. Sir, I’m SAYING Aaaaa. What the heck?!

Someone once told me it was 20 degrees Celsius out. I didn’t know if it was snowing, blazing, or if he was moving at 50 furlongs a minute.

ChatGPT, write a position paper on self signed certificates.

(Lights up a blunt) You need to chill out man.

Welcome to English!
“What are the rules?”
(Satanic laughing)

The hacker mindset is to find the weakness in a system, and then exploit it to the maximum degree.

The UK forgot their keys and had to walk back.

Roll a die. On a 1-5, zero cubes. On a six, reroll ten times to see how many come out at once.

Mmmm…I’ll give you some two factor authentication.

The judge was shot 400 times, a likely suicide.

Crazy ex vibes from that browser.

Let me tell you something. I once had a chance to buy one of those giant ass snickers bars. It was designed by engineers to be eaten as a group activity, but I had a theory I could just eat it, and screw everyone else. I was young at the time, but sometimes youth makes “good” choices that turn out horrible. I didn’t buy that giant bar. I regret it. I regret that I’ll never be able to chonk out. Chonk out like a mad man. No. Now you can’t even buy them any more. What was once a dream, is now ash. What is left to do now? Eat a salad!? WHY DID I MISS MY OPPORTUNITY OH LORD!!!

Awww look, he wants to launch the missile!

We’re trying to AVOID making machines kill us all, not accelerate it.

Username: admin

Password: admin

The sack of Rome must have been sexy as fuck.

(Verse 1) Yo, gather 'round, let me tell you a tale, 'Bout some hamsters, small but they set sail, On a mission, like a furry heist, In the dead of night, they were rollin' dice.

In a world where cheese was the ultimate prize, These little rodents had that glint in their eyes, They wore tiny masks, had a cunning plan, To rob the bank, be the rodent clan.

(Chorus) Hamsters in the night, they're on the run, Stealin' all the cheddar, it's just begun, Tiny paws, big dreams, they're takin' their chance, Hamsters robbin' banks, a rodent romance.

(Verse 2) Through the vents they crawled, like shadows they crept, Crackin' safes with their claws, while the city slept, Whisperin' secrets, in their hamster code, No one could stop them, they owned the road.

Lil' bandits of the underground, so sly, As they counted their loot, reachin' for the sky, Hamster wheelin', they had the skills, Pullin' off heists for their thrills and thrills.

(Chorus) Hamsters in the night, they're on the run, Stealin' all the cheddar, it's just begun, Tiny paws, big dreams, they're takin' their chance, Hamsters robbin' banks, a rodent romance.

(Bridge) But the long arm of the law was closin' in, Hamster SWAT teams, it was time to begin, A chase through the sewers, down the wire, The hamsters were on the edge, feelin' the fire.

(Verse 3) In the end, they were cornered, it was quite a scene, But these hamsters, they were tougher than they seemed, They fought for their freedom, they fought for their cheese, Tiny warriors, brought to their knees.

But the legend lives on, in the city's lore, The hamster heist, forevermore, Tiny rebels, brave and bold, Hamster bank robbers, the story's told.

(Chorus) Hamsters in the night, they're on the run, Stealin' all the cheddar, it's just begun, Tiny paws, big dreams, they're takin' their chance, Hamsters robbin' banks, a rodent romance.

Yeah, hamsters robbin' banks, that's the story told, In the underground world, where legends unfold, Tiny but mighty, they took that chance, Hamsters with a dream, a rodent romance.

Hey Mittens! What are you up to?
(DOOM music kicks in)

EMT standing over body: Cock shock. Third one today. Poor horny bastard.

Souls-like difficulty setting.

I better not slow down or drive cautiously in this snow! People would think I’m some sort of pansy!

“Hey are you…(checks list)…Zoning Violation?”

This was the original rollercoaster tycoon game.

Ni!

I also feel that people here are much nicer, and willing to engage with content. Even tiny communities usually make pretty great posts.

CANCEL

I wonder if there could be a solution where there’s an insert with built in pipe cleaner thingies for the dishwasher, and when you load them up and turn the dishwasher on, it goes WOOSH WOOSH and then it’s clean.