Noone. Why would you be rude to anyone and spend your energy on making their day miserable which by extension effects your mood too?
Morale: don't be rude for the sake of being rude, that's just... rude. And you ain't no saint for gloating about it either.
Check out Louis Rossmanns video about them. A rather shady company.
Due to the size constraints, there's not much to recommend (I am currently typing this on an iphone 7 lols). Since you mentioned GrapheneOS, which can only be installed on Pixel devices, I'd recommend the Pixel 7a. It's definitely bigger than an iPhone 7, but it is the newest Pixel device. To get a phone that's smaller that supports Graphene, I'd have to recommend a Pixel 5a instead. It's older but closer to the size you wish for. Pick your poison.
Don't ditch your pixel, as you can replace the Stock Android on your phone with GrapheneOS instead. It's still android but more secure. Google Auth is probably one of the easiest to ditch. For something like Authy or Authenticator Pro, although you won't have to do that. Google's authenticator is good enough really, even from the privacy side of things. Maps and YouTube though? Those are indeed tough to leave behind.
Can not tell if this is satire or not because while Windows has its fair share of issues, I've yet to encounter something that I couldn't fix. Every time I've installed windows it just worked. People keep whining about windows being just absolute dogshit and then there's me who has never understood that shit because windows just keeps working like it should. And I install windows frequently enough to know/notice if anything is wrong. Like how can't you get steam to start? You must be doing sth wrong... Idk man i just can't relate like at all... Wish I could help instead.
(okay i lied where i said "I've yet to encounter something that I couldn't fix". There's this annoying little shit bug that recently cropped up where my 2 desktop icons in the top left get moved when i move a file to for example the middle of my desktop. One of 3 things happens: it puts it where i wanted it to in the middle OR it puts it IN THE TOP LEFT CORNER which moves my icons down one OR it puts it BETWEEN the two icons i have there. AND best of all IT DOESN'T EVEN STAY THERE it like is there for just a second and then it flicks to wherever i wanted it in the first place, leaving my icons MOVED from where they originally were GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH oh and I also hate how windows handles file transfers of any kind.)
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You're correct but you can still use it without ever attaching an account to it, which is preferrable.
No like they literally break on their own. Ive had multiple "glass" protectors just crack in my pocket or just by pressing too hard on it with my finger. Never using such screen protectors again, back to plastic/film like protectors for me.
Let's not forget now that Purism is a scam. Librem 5 is a joke.