Firefox release notes: we improved the privacy of our browser

Chrome release notes: fuck you and fuck your fucking adblock

Leave it to big tech to introduce the same exact product with less features while they gaslight you into believing it's a shiny new product that you should be excited about.

Hey it's not like he did something insanely criminal, like owning a negligible amount of cannabis to enjoy in the privacy of his own home.

Tried it and it answered all my questions about US presidents... It did not feel like giving an answer for this question.

I went to a brewery recently where they swipe your card at the entrance and hand you a little black credit card type thing. You find your own seats, you go grab a glass, and you insert the card into a slot at a beer tap and pour your own beer, priced by the ounce. If you want food, you go to a kiosk, put your card in, and order food. When it's ready, you go to the kitchen and pick it up to bring back to your seat. When you leave, you bring the card back up to the register and they charge you for all the food and drink. But then it asks you how much you wanna tip. Who the fuck am I tipping? I was my own host, my own bartender, my own waiter, my own bus boy. I haven't seen an actual employee here except for some woman who swiped my credit card during a 5 second interaction.

Okay, I got it to talk.

No it's not. There's something else we're supposed to do to traitors.

"You know what we used to do in the old days when we were smart? Right? The spies and treason, we used to handle it a little differently than we do now"

-Donald Trump, advocating for his own execution

Haven't they had ads disguised as posts for years now?

"Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me?"

"Oi, mate! I can't duff you up wittout getting a wee bit closer! Fink it fru, bruv!"

Please for the love of God someone else crack denuvo so we can cast Empress into the fiery furnace where there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

A lot of people yearn to be part of something bigger than themselves, something truly glorious, something that can give their life purpose. Some people climb the corporate ladder, others join the military, and some will selflessly dedicate their life to charity. But deep down, all we truly want is to not only see a really, really deep hole at the beach, but to know that we contributed to making such a big, cool hole in the sand.

𓀟 𓀟𓀕

𓁆𓁌 𓀠𓁀

So let's say we let him run to avoid a violent backlash.

What happens if he loses? We let him overturn the election to avoid another violent backlash?

All we're doing is proving to the fascists that we will kowtow to them if they are angry and violent enough. If we want to remain a free-ish country we're going to have to piss them off at some point by doing the right thing, and we'll need to deal with the fallout.

What did the first tower say to the second tower?

"Sorry, can't talk now. I've got a plane to catch!"

Wouldn't it be better to use all that obsidian to build nether portals so we can build a public transit system on the bedrock roof?

There's something endearing about a young person trying to look cool by being edgy, completely oblivious to the fact that everyone sees through their facade. When a middle aged man is still trying to look cool by being edgy it's decidedly less endearing.

Life sentence for growing some pot. Meanwhile the Jan 6th insurrectionists are getting maybe 2 years, or if you're a card carrying proud boy terrorist you might be looking at up to 20 years.

Indie devs:

So many people are still playing it, and many new people every day, I want it to be the best it can be

It will never be perfect, but I feel an urge to keep improving it. Up to this point, it's been my life's work, and I care a lot about it.

AAA companies:

So many people are still playing it because exploiting poor impulse control and FOMO are at the core of our game design philosophy. We want it to be the most profitable it can be

It will never be enjoyable, but we will make sure people feel the urge to keep logging in to grind their dailies so their purchase of a battle pass can be justified. Ever since we started allowing pre-orders it was already profitable, and we stopped caring about quality.

Chrome doesn't "leak" your data to Google, it intentionally sends it directly to them. That's like saying my toilet "leaks" human waste into the sewage system.

Relevant xkcd

If you're sick as a dog, you say: 'God I gotta make it.' Even if you vote and then pass away, it's worth it.

Donald Trump, ordering his cultists to sacrifice themselves for his primary race, just yesterday

insulted a prosecutor and verbally attacked the judge who punished him.

Sounds like a certain ex-president who deserves to have his eventual sentence quadrupled.

Don't threaten me with a good time!

we have antitrust and monopoly laws

Well yes, but actually no.

Your CPU: made out of transist🤮rs

My CPU: made out of redst😍ne

Oh no! Pretty soon the union will be demanding all kinds of crazy things like "stop stealing breast milk from the female employees" and "don't drive employees to suicide." When will it end?!

Because laws that are not enforced are nothing more than friendly suggestions.

Aw hell nah the church of scientology assassinated this dude before they could finish their comment.

"Those blacks love sneakers and crime, we've definitely got the black vote locked down this election."

-The GOP, without a hint of irony

And reduce the number of competent educators

"Will you endorse the man who tried to send an angry mob to hang you in order to stop the peaceful transition of power in the United States?"

"Probably not."

It's crazy that people are acting like this is some brave stance on pence's part. Jesus, Republicans get to enjoy such a low bar for being praised.

"New Text Document" really pulls this meme together.

Justice Kavanaugh hasn't forgotten all those gambling debts that magically disappeared after he perjured himself through his confirmation hearing.

In the original comic, the hexagon is off-panel in panel 3. Also several speech bubbles have been moved around. Who edited these things and why? Also super lame to crop out the comic's title.

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

No, the current plan is not that "they hopefully just don't vote." The plan is to actively prevent them from voting through various forms of suppression. They're not just sit around waiting to see what happens.

a puff piece for a dictator full of misinformation

It's not a puff piece. It's full-on Russian propaganda tailor-made for American conservatives. The entire point is to draw even more conservative voters into the fold and convince them that the US needs to stop supporting Ukraine and move towards pulling out of NATO.

Your lawyers live in the 21st century.

My lawyers etch their motions into stone tablets.

We are not the same.