i would assume they brought it up since being heterosexual is the norm because the majority of the population is heterosexual

i can go first, though again i’m not trans to be clear hahaha

for context: i’ve honestly never really liked my name, and have gone by a shortened nickname for a few years now with most of my friends. i can actually remember thinking about how i didn’t like it very much when i was probably as young as 7ish, but going by my nickname has helped me feel better about it overall in recent years.

earlier this year though, probably around january, it really just dawned on me that i don’t feel particularly connected to either my nickname or my legal name. like, even though the nick is better, it’s still just a way to try and get distance from my full name, and i realized it was a possibility for me to just pick another name altogether if i wanted to. so i started searching.

i didn’t have anything particularly in mind, and i tend to be a bit analytical with things like these, so i came up with some criteria (starting letter, syllables, nickname-able, etc), looked up baby name lists, and got to work. after looking, asking for opinions from friends, and sitting on it for a couple months, one of my friends made a suggestion for one that really “fit” me, and i’ve been pretty attached to it since- max/maxine. it’s cool, a bit masculine, has a more elegant and feminine full version, and is just generally a good fit i think.

i’ve been going by it online for a few months now and think i really like it, and would like to start going by it when i start at a new college in the fall, but am just nervous about still about if it’s really right for me or not. i’m sure it’ll be fine, but just a thought that’s been sitting in my mind awhile, making me a little anxious.

i’d like for this too. i know a lot of people in general have pretty eclectic music tastes, but i only really like a couple genres, and would rather just be able to only listen to new music from those genres if possible

you should read this article on the subject, it’s actually super informative and interesting

agreed. imo cishet men (especially white men) tend to have their problems completely overlooked and invalidated by our community just because they are comparatively privileged, but that’s not right. they absolutely do have problems they have to deal with too, plenty of which are from the patriarchy, and i think that just talking to him about what he’s feeling is totally the best way to go about this.

satan gets us ads?? i’ve been using apollo for years and don’t know what you’re talking about AT ALL hahahaha those sound crazy

i mean just because something is a social construct doesn’t mean it has no real effects on people lives or importance in society. money is a social construct too, but it still affects people and society in major ways, and can be an extremely useful tool.

personally, i think that gender is a useful concept to describe a difficult to quantify/describe part of a persons being, and the majority of people identify with some aspect of gender in some way in their lives. because of that, imo, it’s a good word that should be kept around

i haven’t heard it before- what’s it mean?

great video! not something i’ve ever thought about as bars aren’t exactly my scene (and i’m not a lesbian), but i think this is an important issue to keep in mind with the lesbian community moving forward. i also really liked the last lady’s comment about the similarities between lesbian bars disappearing, and black businesses going under, once both groups became more integrated and accepted in the mainstream.

i don’t feel like they touched enough on why this is happening to the lesbian community so much moreso than the gay community, though maybe i missed it. was that just that lesbians tend to have less hookup culture than gay men?

this one’s actually really funny lol. when you took her name, did you also steal all her cool attributes you were jealous of?? 🫢 /j

i’ve been playing a khajiit in my current run through and have been really heavy on the rp, using khajiit speak mods and such. khajiit likes this, [character name] wants that, “this one”, the works. it’s gotten bad enough that i’ve caught myself almost replying to people in real life with khajiit speak rather than using “i” pronouns on multiple occasions 💀💀

pretty good so far! have a couple hangouts scheduled with friends, some important paperwork to do that i’ve been slacking on, and a camping trip this weekend! also i’m pretty excited for all that. and i’ve been getting some time to work on my jacket project, which makes me very happy.

i think the one person in the article makes a good point about how this sort of thing can make it more difficult for lgbt people actually living in malaysia, but overall i’d say i think that this is a super great thing overall. it’s ridiculous and terrible how intolerant and stuck in the past some countries are.

aww :( that’s really too bad, i’m sorry to hear it. even with hal? i can see halley being a bit feminine, but hal reads as neutral or masc to me more.

for what it’s worth, i think halley is cool as fuck, and the origins of why you chose it are super sick.

i think this is a great discussion topic, thank you for bringing it up! i should preface this also by saying that my perspective comes from that of a sex averse/repulsed asexual- so in both real life and tv/books/fiction, i get uncomfortable by sexual topics generally speaking. this does extend to some forms of PDA for couples of all orientation as well, though i should clarify that i have no issue with what consenting adults do in their homes, as that is not my business.

others have already pointed out that the exact phrase you included tends to unfairly target queer people, so i will touch on it as though it were being equally applied to straight and queer people. if others being sexual in public makes you uncomfortable, there is nothing wrong with staying in that mindset in my opinion, especially if it is your comfort zone as is. while moving out of it could be personally beneficial if possible (not being uncomfortable is more pleasant than being uncomfortable), it’s not morally wrong to be uncomfortable. don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.

while passing judgement on others for being sexual in public is a separate topic, and one many here would say is immoral, idk how to feel. i really try not to judge others for PDA, but if it’s like, really intense… i think it’d be lying to say i don’t judge others at all for it. but i don’t think that’s objectively morally wrong or something, i just have my own quiet opinions and keep them to myself. that’s okay too.

mind sharing what you think her strongest might be? i’ve been watching a bit of her recently and really like how she presents ideas

people who randomly up litter or are happy to share things with others are always a good sign to me

honestly. i’m still stuck to reddit because of the content only, and if i found a suitable alternative for that niche i’d finally be free to leave. i hate reddit- i hate the app, the “features”, the admins, all of that, but i LOVE the content itself

thanks :) i’m a namenerd at heart and have been missing my r-ddit community about the topic, so thought i’d bring some of the conversation here! i love origin stories anyway lol

taking your grandmothers name is so sweet 🥺🥺 it’s like naming a kid after someone important to you, but so much more special because it’s your name. and combining it with a favourite comic character is awesome, i love this origin story :)

i like hearing stories from other cis people changing their names too, it’s not super common so it’s nice to have others to relate to :)

the question moving forward would be, what kinds of community areas specifically can replace these spaces? cafes? i can’t really think of many options even

okay, that’s actually TRAGIC to hear :( but i’m glad that you can still think back about it positively in some regard, with how the fandom allowed you to open up your mind and just be able to play around with that world and its characters. that sounds sweet as least :)

i agree! if the feminine version of your deadname brings bad memories and feelings, ditch it :) it’s nice that that works for some people, but there’s no reason to feel beholden to it if it’s not for you.

i like maya :) i hope it works for you!

okay, this is awesome. first name is good sense imo, easy to fit in and not feel out of place with your generation which can be helpful for some. second is nice because taking a character that’s important to you as a namesake must be really special and sweet. third is just fucking cool- the words themselves must be important to you in a unique way, and having it be a “code” of sorts that only you really need to know about it so cool. i love this :)

wait what 😅 context?

that’s so nice you still love them, i’m happy for you! a lot of people have special stories or meanings behind why they chose their names, so it’s nice to see someone else who, similarly to me, just had name lists to go through :) and getting to have something you’d already loved for awhile as your middle name is so sweet, i love that middle names get to be unpractical and just fun since they don’t really matter very much.

well, i disagree. i’m not trying to claim cishet white men are oppressed, i never said that, and people who do are flat out wrong. i’m just saying that, because of their privilege (which i’m agreeing they obviously do have), their problems with things like mental health are heavily overlooked and dismissed. men suffer from expectations related to toxic masculinity and the patriarchy. sexual assault against men gets laughed at and joked about, it’s not acceptable for men to show emotions or cry, and in this society men need to be strong all the time. even small things like how men should pay for dinner on a date or hold the car door open are unfair expectations placed on men alone.

i am not trying to say that men have issues comparable to poc or lgbt folks. i’m just saying that what men go through are real problems that need to be validated, not brushed off. being brushed off is exactly what drives men to incel forums- no one else will sympathize with their struggles whatsoever. we need to be better at this.

seconded! this one was excellent

that sounds like so much fun! i hope you enjoy your summer :)

oh i’ve definitely heard of people doing this too, i think it’s a super neat and cute idea! i’m glad you were able to find happiness with one that was already special to your parents too :)

thanks! it’s just a black denim jacket i thrifted and have been “upgrading” in a way haha. sewing pockets on the inside, making and putting on some handmade patches for bands i like, embroidering on it, that kind of thing :) nothing on the back though quite yet

definitely relate to this. i attend church regularly despite not being religious because my family is, and though i don’t believe in the christian god at least, i do appreciate and like the environment, community, and lessons being taught. it’s very peaceful and makes you feel like you’re part of something a bit bigger, even if that’s likely just because there’s a few hundred people at any given service.

to preface this, i just want to say i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders or anything, and so, if you do, this might not help at all. this is just my own perspective on life.

i’ve never personally been very caught up in the whole our lives are meaningless, we are only a minor blip in time, nothing matters in the end, we are tiny and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, etc. i think i used to care somewhat, but i sort of just realized at some point that, even if we don’t matter “overall”, that doesn’t mean our lives don’t matter at all.

it doesn’t particularly matter to me that one day i’ll be dead and forgotten, because, well, i’m not dead and forgotten right now. right now i’m alive and experiencing things and have people who care about me. why should it matter that, in 100 years or so, i’ll be dead? why should that take away from the very real life/experiences/memories i have right now?

same idea with size/scale related thoughts. we are tiny on a cosmic scale, our lives don’t matter because of how inconsequential they are, etc. but like… the only thing i have is my life and experiences. why should it matter to me what’s important on a “cosmic scale”? if it’s not concerned with me, i quite frankly don’t see why it should concern me either.

this is my name! it was made for me!

imo the novelty of john oliver will wear off soon, and people will want regular content again. so long as mods stay firm that regular content is not allowed, users will be dissatisfied and lower their engagement. though it’s not a perfect plan (people could just use different subs), it’s better than nothing

though not as home oriented as most posters here, i have a denim jacket i’ve been working on for the past couple months. have been making and sewing my own patches on, and am currently looking at dyeing the sleeves, though i’ve been procrastinating from that a bit ;)

whole thing ruined now. you’re right, and i hate it

love to see queer christian’s here! so many people, especially LGBT folks (understandably to some degree) harbour so much hate for christianity as a whole, when in my opinion it’s crazy to generalize everyone in an entire religion as “bad people.”

may i ask what denomination you follow, if it’s a specific one?

the eternal september?

i love jasmine! and that’s so cute that sv helped you choose in a way :)