The heck is a "free speech" phone? Very few phones prevent you from unlocking the bootloader and putting whatever software you want on it. The problem is what software do you want?
If you're concerned about Google snooping on you, first off, get an iPhone. (They are marginally less snoopy, but it's still not great.)
If you're concerned about stock android, buy any smartphone and put Lineage or Graphene on it. You can then install Google's services on it if you want (play store!), but at that point I'd save your time and stick with the normal version of Android that shipped with your phone.
If you're really concerned about FOSS and having control of your device, put a Linux mobile distro on your phone - see here. Be warned, even the best mobile Linux distros are miles behind Android in terms of usability for the average user. If you want to go all in on open source, get a Pinephone or Fairphone and put Linux on it.
As a note of caution, lots of people (including me) think they want a FOSS device until they have to use one. You can totally go FOSS and fully libre, but it does come at the expense of convenience. I am quite happy with my pixel with stock android and all of the convenience that provides, but each to their own.
Yes, they are great - they are quite vocally neurodivergent and thankfully I'm in a company and culture that is very supportive, accommodating and open about these things.
I think, even without any diagnosis, having this conversation has made me think "hey, maybe I don't have to be so hard on myself" which, regardless of whether I am or am not neurotypical, is probably a positive train of thought to be having!