The Onion is sold to new firm known as Global Tetrahedron
axios.com
https://global-tetrahedron.com/about
Hmm, I wonder why this shadowy organization sounds so... familiar?
https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Atheonion.com+%22global+tetrahedron%22
I think it might be safe to file this one under "Good News." It sounds like everyone kept their jobs and the union is intact.
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Gotta appreciate all they do for our elderly community.
You unappreciative fuck! You only recall what they do for grandma and grandpa, and forget how well they support puppies, the less privileged, their Feeee-Male staff, and THE CHILDREN!!!